the moments when you're in too deep

[beardstrokes]

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker
Broadcast: No
Action: The Paisley
When: ONE WEEK LATER for drama

[ Trust your instincts is something Master Qui-Gon told him constantly. Obi-Wan used to have a bad habit of overthinking everything, so his Master would surprise him and catch him off-guard with questions Obi-Wan had no answer for. And yet, answers would come through the Force.

Right now, the Force is a little too calm. One would call that the calm before the storm, but Obi-Wan knew better.

He knocks on Anakin's door. ]

Anakin, it's me.

Comments

[sandhate]

[ A really childish thought came to him when he hears the knock, knowing that it's Obi-Wan on the other side without the announcement. What if he just stayed really quiet, would his former Master just leave?

He invites Obi-Wan in with a tilt of his head while he looks for something-- anything to fiddle around with. A spare power cell will have to do. ]

So. You want to talk.

[beardstrokes]

Yes.

[ He pauses, folding his arms behind his back. ]

I considered leaving the Order once. Long ago. Did you know that?

[sandhate]

[ He flips the power cell between fingers and glances at Obi-Wan but doesn't really look at him. ]

I didn't.

[beardstrokes]

I was in love with Satine. I waited for her to give the word. We knew, even though we never said it.

[ He never said it. Not once. And now she'll never hear him say it. The regret comes and goes with the tide, the Force gently tugging it away. ]

But she didn't. There were many reasons for that decision, good and bad. So I returned to the Order. It was around then, that our path took us to Naboo. To you.

[ And who knows what fate would have befallen them had Obi-Wan stayed? He has an inkling. He's gotten better at feeling out the various paths, and new knowledge has only broadened his scope. ]

[sandhate]

[ He listened and he softened. He has a new image of Obi-Wan being pieced together in the fragments he's given. Someone willing to sacrifice a lifetime of duty and dedication, purposes and light for love. That is someone Anakin would have never saw in the man in front of him.

He's quiet for a moment, fingers paused and now openly staring and considering. ]

But if she had...

[ He trails off; he wants-- needs to hear Obi-Wan say it to be true ]

[beardstrokes]

If she had . . . then I would have left.

[ That small truth needed to be said. For Anakin to understand. ]

The difference between the Sith and the Jedi comes down to choice. The Sith remove the choices. You are forced, lied or cheated to become one of them. It's a temptation, a lure when all other options are gone.

The Jedi believe in the choice. And they commit to it. But you have two commitments now, Anakin and you're not being fair to either.

[sandhate]

[ He drops his eyes to his hands. ]

I always thought I would spend my life in the Order, as a Jedi. I saw it, even before Qui-Gon came for me. I would travel the stars and help as many people as I can. I never thought there would be a day where I wouldn't be that.

[ A beat; he has a mantra in his head but for once the filters work and he finds himself struggling to say the words. Then it eventually comes and he feels heavier with each word. ]

I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I will always choose her. My commitment to the Order-- It means nothing if I have break my promise to Padme.

[beardstrokes]

[ He knew. He knew that, but it feels like a blow and a release at the same time. Perhaps, now, he can change things. If there is grief. . .

He nods, quiet. ]

Anakin . . .

[ He exhales. Now is the time to make things perfectly clear. Anakin's decision has been made. He won't change it. ]

The Jedi die at the end of the Clone Wars. Save for a few survivors . . . the Order is wiped out. When we get back, I do not know what state the galaxy will be. But when we do, take Padme and leave.

[sandhate]

[ His reaction takes a second, the trouble of choosing and losing something so important to his life, and the shock of knowing that everything he chose to abandon becomes lost in the near future.

Because of him? The Prophecy?

He whispered his disbelief. ]

What? What are you saying?

[ He reaches out for Obi-Wan. His hands shakes and he feels cold but his voice is firmer. ]

Obi-Wan. Why are you saying that?

[beardstrokes]

[ He takes Anakin's hands gently. He speaks as calmly as he can. He's become numb to it. ]

I'm saying . . . the Republic will fall and the Jedi along with it. And that is not your fault. And I'm saying it because -- [ Because he can't afford this one loss, among all the others. He simply can't. ] -- you have a family now. You've chosen your commitment. And I want you to have it far away from the Republic.

Promise me, Anakin.

[sandhate]

What?

[ Doesn't Obi-Wan know? ]

No, I can't.

[ He shakes his head, discarding the bewildered and lost look for a more determined one. He grabs fistful of Obi-Wan's tunic, a sure sign of his stubbornness coming through. ]

I can't leave you to that fate, Obi-Wan. I won't leave you. You're my family, too. I meant what I said before, you're as close as I have to a father. You're my best friend. You can't make me promise that.

[beardstrokes]

[ Sharply. ]

I can and you will. You have more to think about than me now and you have to keep that in mind! You have to do this. I am still your Master.

[sandhate]

[ The thought of leaving Obi-Wan to face the end alone? Unthinkable. But he knows he can't risk Padme's safety or their future children's. He also knows that wars end and people die and that there is a reason why his own children know Obi-Wan and treat him like a stranger.

He grips Obi-Wan's shoulder too tightly before letting go and turning away from him. ]

No.

There's no point to this! We don't even know if that's how it'll go! [ He points a finger at Obi-Wan. ] How do you know for sure that the Jedi will fall! Or the Republic! Because someone here said it's true? We have worked so hard in this war; we can't lose everything that we have sacrificed for.

[beardstrokes]

[ His tone is disapproving. ] Anakin. Working hard in a war is not a guarantee for success.

[ But he softens a little, placing his hands on Anakin's shoulders. ]

That's my point. If we can change it, then we will. But you can't afford to take that risk. So you will leave when we get back and go. And I will handle the rest.

[sandhate]

[ He tenses then shrugs off Obi-Wan's hand. ]

I'm not saying it's supposed to! But do you hear yourself? There are thousands of Jedi, all over the galaxy! And the Republic, how can it fall in such a short time? With the Chancellor doing everything he can do keep it together?

[ He whips around and eyes Obi-Wan, shock of what could happen making his mouth drop open slightly. Then he remembers to breathe. ]

Does something happen to Palpatine?

[beardstrokes]

Yes.

[ And that's all he's going to say, gj Obi-Wan. ]

It was the Clones. Apparently they had inactive programming to kill Jedi. It was activated. There's no way even the Jedi would stand up to that.

[ And how would they? It's trust that would get them killed. ]

[sandhate]

The Clones?

[ He can't believe. He thinks about Rex and he just can't believe. He shakes his head, as if to dislodge the idea that could ever happen.

He sees Palpatine, weak and asking for help; he sees the stoic Mace Windu in total shock and horror.

Grief hits him. He fears for his loved ones, even the ones he held at arms' length and those who held him the same in return.

Then he burns. His hands curls into fists and all he sees is red. ]

Dooku. It's him, isn't it. If we kill him, then this would never happen.

[beardstrokes]

[ Evenly. ] Perhaps. Dooku was involved with the Clones and Sifo-Dyas. Whether he executed the order or not . . . is debatable.

But I can assure you this. You will not be involved in this anymore. You made your decision, Anakin. I expect you to stick to it.

[sandhate]

[ Ignoring direct order, as per usual. He tries to be as even as Obi-Wan but he wavers, only briefly. ]

I want to know who is telling you this.

[beardstrokes]

That is not on the table. They prefer their anonymity and I will let them keep it. I trust them.

[ Even though Hera was the one to tell them, it was Kanan's existence that ultimately confirmed it for him. ]

And I will change the future if I can. But you have a different future to focus on. I want your promise, Anakin. I want it now.

[sandhate]

[ He's quiet for a significant amount of time this time. His voice almost cracks. It hurts to say the two words. Saying it will widen the inevitable gap between them by tenfold and he already feels the gap too much. ]

I promise.

[beardstrokes]

[ He studies him quietly for a few minutes before nodding. He folds his arms under his cloak. ]

May the Force be with you.

[ Nothing. Not even a quiver. ]

[sandhate]

[ A shout, between clenched teeth: ]

Leave.

[beardstrokes]

[ Obi-Wan bows his head before turning his back and closing the door behind him.

He has the sudden irresponsible urge to rescind everything. Foolish, really. He came to terms with it a while ago. To go back on everything now, when he knew too much, would not divert the future.

He felt no pain. He felt no sadness. He was Jedi.

Obi-Wan tilted his head up. The Force was oddly quiet. Perhaps, even in disapproval. ]

I'm sorry Master. I failed you.

[ Nothing. There was nothing. With that, he turns on his heel to leave.

He has plans to make. ]