Anders (
apurrstate) wrote in
driftfleet2016-10-22 08:26 pm
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Entry tags:
[Closed]
Who: Adalwolfe, Allen, Anders, and Riona
Broadcast: n/a
Action: An empty room away from others, probably on the Iskaulit. Just in case.
When: Nowish/Soonish
[He was nervous. There were a hundred things to be nervous about, but he'd found an extra fifty to add to it on his way to the room they'd chosen. He'd found it on his way back from the greenhouse last week, not a huge space in the grand scheme of things, but secluded enough that should something happen with Justice...well, there would be time to stop them if they lost themselves.
He'd spent the day checking and double checking that everything was in order. The dog and cat were fine, the plants now in Hawke's old room would be fine, everything else would sort itself out...just in case. That seemed to be the strongest thought in his head right now. He couldn't think too hard on what if it didn't work or what if it went wrong for some reason Allen couldn't know about and Justice died or, Maker forbid, got worse.
Not for the first time, he wished he could talk to his friend again, they way they'd done years past. Anders missed him, missed the way they'd been. Even now, he supposed, they wouldn't have that chance. Maker willing, Justice would go back to the Fade where he never should have left and Anders would stay here. He just wished he could voice his concerns and fears and thoughts to someone who'd truly understand what the twist in his chest choking him meant, what those doubts on the edges of his mind might be whispering, what fears seeped into the thin hope he clung to. Maker, let this work. For Justice's sake, let him finally be free and saved.
Anders was even more quiet than usual on his way over with Hawke and when he saw Riona and Allen join them, he offered a smile that felt as thin as every other good feeling he was trying to muster.]
Good morning for a demonic cleansing, don't you think?
Broadcast: n/a
Action: An empty room away from others, probably on the Iskaulit. Just in case.
When: Nowish/Soonish
[He was nervous. There were a hundred things to be nervous about, but he'd found an extra fifty to add to it on his way to the room they'd chosen. He'd found it on his way back from the greenhouse last week, not a huge space in the grand scheme of things, but secluded enough that should something happen with Justice...well, there would be time to stop them if they lost themselves.
He'd spent the day checking and double checking that everything was in order. The dog and cat were fine, the plants now in Hawke's old room would be fine, everything else would sort itself out...just in case. That seemed to be the strongest thought in his head right now. He couldn't think too hard on what if it didn't work or what if it went wrong for some reason Allen couldn't know about and Justice died or, Maker forbid, got worse.
Not for the first time, he wished he could talk to his friend again, they way they'd done years past. Anders missed him, missed the way they'd been. Even now, he supposed, they wouldn't have that chance. Maker willing, Justice would go back to the Fade where he never should have left and Anders would stay here. He just wished he could voice his concerns and fears and thoughts to someone who'd truly understand what the twist in his chest choking him meant, what those doubts on the edges of his mind might be whispering, what fears seeped into the thin hope he clung to. Maker, let this work. For Justice's sake, let him finally be free and saved.
Anders was even more quiet than usual on his way over with Hawke and when he saw Riona and Allen join them, he offered a smile that felt as thin as every other good feeling he was trying to muster.]
Good morning for a demonic cleansing, don't you think?
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[He has his hand on his boyfriend's back, brushing soothing circles between Anders' shoulder blades as he's done all morning. There wasn't much sleep gotten last night despite their having taken over the slightly more spacious captain's quarters on the Three Twins. Anders had barely been to bed; no sooner had he laid down than he'd get up again and check to make sure Pounce had water or check that their door was firmly shut or that his dirty clothes were off the floor, which was the most ridiculous thing considering Anders has never before picked up his pile of worn clothes without prompting in his entire life. Finally Adalwolfe had threatened to sit on him to make him settle.]
Maybe you can reassure him, Riona. He clearly won't listen to me.
[He's long since stopped calling her by titles. With their mutual watchfulness over the reason for this gathering, Adalwolfe feels close enough now to just use her first name and hang ceremony.]
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[She just answers Anders' nervousness with some sarcasm. Because, honestly, she's quite nervous too. But Adalwolfe's plea reminds her that she needs to be poised and calm, every bit the Commander and Queen that she is.]
Anders, you know I wouldn't gamble with you and Justice if I didn't have trust in Allen or his abilities.
[It is a gamble, she won't lie, but she feels it's a smart one. And they need to do something about Justice before something happens that they can't undo.]
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When he speaks, there's a kind expression on his face. He doesn't step close, not yet. He knows what would happen if he did, and he'd rather they get their own nerves sorted out before adding to it.]
It's alright. I'd be more concerned if he wasn't nervous. We can take all the time you need.
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[As much as he loved Riona and Hawke both and trusted their trust in Allen, Andraste herself would need to come down and tell him everything would be fine before he would even consider letting go of his nerves.
His hand brushed Hawke's arm affectionately and he worked his smile into something stronger for his sake as much as theirs. Pretend hard enough and maybe it would feel real. His eyes went to Allen and that smile twitched into a smirk, a far easier gesture for him.]
A pleasure to finally meet the man who has all the answers. Thank you for agreeing to do this.
[He was sure Riona had already thanked him on Anders' behalf, but it was important for him to say it too. From one healer to another, Allen's power to heal was something stronger than Anders could ever dream of if this worked out, he deserved every ounce of respect and gratitude Anders had for helping them.]
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Right.
No doubts.]
So how does this all work the way you do it, exactly?
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Be optimistic, she tells herself. Nevermind that she has a dagger tucked away, just in case. Nevermind that she, too, didn't get much rest last night.
She remains silent, waiting for Allen to explain and to start things.]
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[Both Justice and Anders were suffering. If he could use his power to save both of them...he'd be very grateful.
He looks over at Hawke with the question]
It's pretty simple, really. I'll activate my abilities to their full power. Then, I can use them to sever what is holding Justice to Anders without harming either of them. All goes well, it should only take a moment.
Though um, I should warn you: when I step closer, you may see Justice thanks to my, er, sensing ability. He's not in a great state, so it might...be a little disturbing to see.
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He turned his head to look to Hawke with a small smile and spoke to him quietly.]
Love, I think you should stand with Riona instead. [Just in case, his mantra. He could feel Justice stirring, likely as nervous as he was. Hopefully. Hopefully not having second thoughts. Maker, would Justice be able to see himself? Would the sight of his own corruption be enough to draw him into an anger just as even the suggestion of him being anything like a demon did? All he could do was pray that wouldn't happen or that 'just in case' would be reality.
He nodded and tried to keep the mounting apprehension from his voice and face.]
I think it might be best to work quickly.
[He couldn't stop a glance to Riona, half wishing he could tell her to leave and avoid being here to see their friend as he was, avoid needing to use the weapon he was sure she had stashed somewhere on her person. But it wasn't his call to decide for her.]
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With a solemn nod, Adalwolfe first kisses Anders, pressing his forehead against the blond's for a long moment, taking and squeezing his hand tightly to say without saying that everything will be alright with all the confidence in the world that he hopes Anders believes he feels. He wants to.
But he still kisses him once more before he pulls away and steps back beside Riona. Just in case.]
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To say she wasn't dreading that would be a lie.]
Are we going to be able to communicate with him when we do see him? Or are we only going to be able to look?
[More importantly, how will Justice react? Would he be able to see and talk to them?]
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[He doesn't blame anyone for their apprehension. Honestly, it wouldn't be a pretty sight to see. Justice wasn't in the worst shape he's seen, but it was still pretty bad. It was still pretty obvious where the corruption was, that he'd been twisted unnaturally.
And every day he stayed with Anders, it'd only get worse. This was the only way to save him.
But he knows he can't stall in the doorway forever. So finally, he steps into the room to get closer to Anders. As soon as he's within a few feet of them- his left eye changes to black and red. Though that's a minor detail compared to what looks like Justice- or rather Vengeance- manifesting over Anders- connected by the mage by some sort of ethereal chain.
It's by no means an easy looking sight, but it's clearly one that Allen's very familiar with- as his only reaction is an expression of sympathy towards the spirit]
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Where once the spirit had looked like an armor-clad knight, a pure yellow-white light making up his form, now the figure was a garish orange-red, the angles of the armor sharper, spiked, a warrior clad in vestments meant to hurt and not protect as he'd once been. The Orange red burned bright and harsh, like the embers of Rage's flame that just hadn't quite figured out how to catch fire yet. Where there were once eyes that shone out fair and filled with the desire for justice he'd embodied, now there was burning anger at injustices and desire to hurt those who hurt others. Justice perverted and wrong.
It hurt almost immediately, a lance through his heart and soul, his own hurt and Justice's echoing as the sight went from Anders' eyes to his friend. Blue cracks splintered out across his face and arms as Justice's anger and denial at what he saw surged up.
Anders' hands flew to his face, palms digging into his eyes as though he could shove the cracks back together and calm the spirit. It was fine.
No it wasn't.
It would be fine. It would be fine because Allen said it would be and Riona and Wolfe said it would be and that was enough. it had to be enough. Anders took a shaky breath and pulled his hands away, eyes blue instead of their usual amber-brown.]
Will it hurt?
[A seemingly childish question to his own ears, but one he couldn't help asking and not for the reason it likely seemed. He honestly hoped it would, if only a little. Retribution for the damage he could so clearly see now that he'd caused.]
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Wolfe makes to step forward, not sure he should but driven by love and his unending desire to protect Anders. Riona wants to protect them both, Allen to give them peace, and Adalwolfe would prefer they both come through alright, but when it comes down to brass tacks Adalwolfe cares the most that Anders and Anders alone remains unharmed.
He doesn't touch, not sure he can when he's crackling blue like this, but he hovers very close like a dragon over a clutch of eggs, all coiled with tension. He looks at Allen at the question, waiting for an answer.]
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For a moment, she can't move. She can barely even breathe. It's so painful and wrenching to see him like this, so angry and vengeful. This is not who he is meant to be. Tears sting at her eyes, but she wills them back. The last thing she needs to do is become upset. That would feed into Justice's anger and upset him and Anders more.]
Justice, my friend, look at me. [She offers a smile, hoping to comfort.] It's all right. Allen will help.
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[Thankfully, their bond together wasn't tight enough to cause pain to separate. Maybe a bit longer and it'd be but...
Well. Let's not think about that.
Allen, amidst all their reactions, concentrates on activating his Innocence. His right hand grabs his left wrist and he focuses his power. Anyone sensitive to power might feel a growing build-up of some sort of...holy power. There's a crackling of green energy around his left hand, looking almost like the Inquistor's mark.
Soon, the power grows to the level that even those who can't sense such things can feel the power- like there's electricity in the air. When it reaches that point, his left arm starts to transform into a sword as his right arm draws it out. When it finishes, it looks like he's holding a massive sword, glowing on it's own with no light shining on it. Allen's left sleeve hangs empty at his side]
Alright, I'm ready.
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A blade should have freed Justice from him years back. Years before even that a Templar's blade had tried. It seemed fitting now. Anders nodded, simply waiting. Half hoping Allen was wrong and the process would offer a bit of that penance he was seeking.
Vengeance, for his part, does look as Riona commands, his glowing eyes fixed to her, but with no trace of malice or anger. If Vengeance can Trust, it's Riona that brings it out in him.]
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He doesn't have his staff, didn't bring it because he was lead to believe this was a peaceful meeting to solve the question of Vengeance, but apparently it's an entirely different sort of vengeance in question here. Luckily, Adalwolfe doesn't need his staff; blessing and curse of a mage.
Ice and lightning both crackle about Hawke's fingers as he places himself between Anders and Allen, not slinging spells just yet but certainly not letting the exorcist any closer until some answers are given.]
No one said anything about a sword.
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That, and Allen seems smart enough to know that pissing her off isn't wise, not when they share a ship.]
Allen, please tell me that sword is... well, a sword, to break that chain thing, and not to, you know, stab someone.
[There's plea and warning mixed in with her words. A part of her still worries that he does intend to cause harm, despite her telling herself otherwise.]
1/2
But now they're here. And there was Hawke, jumping in front and clearly threatening him with ice and lightning. It's no surprise that he's on edge, and since he doesn't know Allen well, he probably wouldn't listen to him. Or at least, it'd take a lot of time.
And so, to save on time? He looks straight at Hawke with a serious expression. Then he lifts up his sword, and stabs him through without any hesistation.]
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Aha, don't worry! My sword can't actually hurt humans! See?
[....His sense of humor could probably still use some work.]
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A moment, two, and the sight finally catches up to him and the energy dims again, fading along with the threat.]
What...?
[The sudden tension eases out of him and leaves only annoyance and a sigh.]
I understand you were making a point, but was that strictly necessary?
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But he's not.
It doesn't even hurt, and Wolfe cracks open one eye as Anders talks, Vengeance's echo leaving his voice and an exasperated admonishment replacing it. He can see the sword still protruding from his chest, but he can't feel it at all. It's a weird sensation.]
You really need to work out a better way to show people that.
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Anger and guilt and rage surge through her as Riona lunges towards Adalwolfe, a scream ready to tear out of her-
-until, like Anders, she realizes he's fine. She stumbles to a halt, trying to process what she's seeing. Allen's words help clear up her confusion. She huffs, clearly not amused.]
Maker help me, Allen Walker...
[She's got that "you are getting the scolding of your life later on" look as she forces a breath through her nose. As her heart rate goes back to normal, something crosses her mind about what Allen said.]
...you said it won't harm a human. What about a spirit?
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Sorry! I don't get a chance to make jokes much in my profession. [He pulls the sword fully out of Hawke, oddly sidestepping as to make sure the sword's blade doesn't strike him. Curious.] Besides, I thought explaining it with words alone would take much longer, and I can only hold this form for so long.
[Especially if he wanted to avoid passing out into another coma. He'd get in a lot of trouble if he did that.
But at that remark, he glances back at Riona, a frown on his face since man, you don't accuse him of wanting to harm souls and spirits.]
I already told you, Riona. The last thing I would do is hurt a spirit. [There's a slight bit of annoyance in his tone. He's not mad, but man how many times does he have to say it nngh]
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Our apologies...
[It was an attempt at an honest sentiment, but there was a strain to it. Justice wasn't known for his sense of humor, Anders could feel the spirit even more on edge than before. Plus, he couldn't imagine what the consequences for holding his form for too long would be, but he knew what scraping the bottom of your mana pool felt like and didn't want Allen to suffer something like that because of them.]
Perhaps we ought to get this over with, then? With...fewer demonstrations this time.
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He feels Anders' hand on his shoulder and he lays his hand on top for a moment, flashing an encouraging smile.]
See? Nothing to worry about.
[He kisses Anders' knuckles and then steps back again, glancing up at the spirit and swallowing.
Nothing to worry about.]
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An apology will come when this is over. For now, the best Allen will get is a nod before she looks back at Justice.
She offers a smile, hoping this is not going to be the last image she will have of her friend.]
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But right, they should get on with it. The clock was ticking about how long he can hold this form. He takes a deep breath and walks forward, towards Anders. Towards Justice. He gives a glance - and a smile- at both of them, before he plunges his sword into Anders.
Like Allen said, there's a hot feeling- almost like Anders is standing too close to a fire. But it's not Anders himself that is burning, rather the corruption and taint that had been within him, purifying him in its wake. If they're watching the spirit, white light seems to consume Vengeance- burning away at the corruption and restoring him to Justice. At the same time, the chain that was tying him to Anders breaks apart, freeing him to move on, to go back where he belongs. ]
May you find your way to the Fade, Justice.
[From the looks of it? It won't be long until he moves on, if any last words wished to be exchanged]
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Justice looked to himself and then back up to Allen.]
I thank you, mortal.
[Perhaps there should be more, but Justice was not one to mince words when it wasn't necessary. He turned his helmed gaze to Riona and paused.]
Warden-Commander. There is too much I wish to say to you, were we in the Fade...but this will have to do. Thank you for everything. I did not know the beauty of your world before. I...did not know much before I met you. I can never repay you for the true life you gave me, nor for the priceless gift of your friendship. Little else meant more to me than that.
[He turned to her and saluted her, his fist coming up over his chest.]
If I am allowed to retain my memories, you will live forever in them.
[His gaze lingered on Hawke a moment and he nodded.]
You are a Just man, Hawke. Thank you for your support. Take care.
[And then his gaze was on Anders whose hand clutched to his chest over the scar left there on the day Justice had merged with him. Another time Justice had saved his life.
Justice was silent and Anders was silent, but their time was quickly running out. He couldn't say nothing, this was the first and last time they'd been able to talk to each other since merging. But how inadequate were 'Thank you' and 'I'm sorry' when they equally saved and ruined each other's lives? Justice had changed everything and shown Anders things he never would have even considered. What could he possibly say?]
There aren't pets in the Fade. You'll be terribly lonely and then you'll see I was right all along.
[Anders smiled and he liked to think that maybe, under that horrible helmet, his friend was smiling back.]
Farewell, my friend.
[And then he turned as though to walk away and simply vanished, leaving no trace of himself behind.]
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In the silence that follows, he's not sure what to do, watching Anders for some sort of cue.]
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But he remains. And he's himself again. She gasps out a sigh of relief and joy. This is how she remembers him, and it's such a bittersweet moment. So much has changed and been lost in all these years her friends have lived and she has yet not. Finally something from her past is how it should be, though the moment will be short-lived.
She walks up to Justice when he turns to her, and tears sting her eyes again. Normally she does not cry in front of her men, but she makes an exception. Luckily, they're happy tears, judging by her smile.]
The honor has been mine, Justice. You've taught me much as well, and even if you do not remember me, I will always remember you. Take care, my friend. Good-bye.
[She returns his salute, the gesture sincere as she watches him vanish. Her bottom lip quivers, sorrow and joy battling with each other as she stares at the spot where he was. She wishes their farewell could have been longer, but at least they got one, and on such good terms.]
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As Justice fades away, Allen's eye returns to normal. He'll pull his sword out of Anders, stepping back. Once it's fully out, he deactivates it, and the Innocence returns to form his left arm once again. He feels...a bit wobbly, definitely a little drained, but he wasn't passing out- so a definite improvement. ]
It's all done now.
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Anders shoves it all down, locking it away before it can every threaten to touch the surface. Later, maybe never, but certainly not right now. He needed something else to focus on and Allen falls into focus.
Anders moves closer with a smile, slipping on his Healer's mantle for easy cover of everything else.]
Thank you so, so much. He's happier now, because of you. [That, at least, he could be perfectly honest about.]
Are you okay? I can't imagine that didn't take anything out of you.
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Silently, he moves to Anders' side again, but says nothing just yet.]
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Thank you so much, Allen. I-
[Wiping away her tears, she turns to Allen and - yes, he does look winded. Worry creases her brow, cutting off whatever she was going to say next. Instead, she says:]
Allen, will you be all right? Should we get you back to the ship?
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It's ... think nothing of it, I'm just glad I could help.
[As for the questions of concern, he'll offer a smile as he tries to make sure to keep himself standing straight. Yeah. Definitely would be bad to fall right now or something]
Ah, I'll be alright! Really! I'm just...it takes a lot of energy, but it's nothing a nap and eating my weight in food won't cure!
[No really, it'll be about that much food]
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It isn't much, but hopefully it'll keep you upright until you're back on your ship and ready to rest. It's the least I can do to help you.
[He knows Riona can help him from here, they're crewmates and headed the same way anyway, but Anders had to do something. It wasn't nearly as much gratitude as Allen deserved.
Quietly, Anders' hand found Hawke's and tangled their fingers together.]
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If there is anything you need though, soon or otherwise, I'm sure you have all three of us to call on. Truly, for anything.
[He clutches Anders' fingers tightly in his, a grip that won't be loosening anytime soon.]
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Come on. I'll put together some dino meat burgers for you. And scrounge up whatever else we have.
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Thank you, Anders. And thank you Hawke.
[looking back at Riona, the mention of food gets his eyes to light up some more]
Burgers sound delicious.