driftfleet | You can check out anytime you'd like.. [Hotel Corona Mingle]

You can check out anytime you'd like.. [Hotel Corona Mingle]

Who: The Fleet!
Broadcast: If you want
Action: Hotel Corona or Planet Ikke
When: December 7th onward

a wheel-shaped space station

[After the mystery and isolation of their last destination, the Marsiva seems determined to head to brighter, busier territory. After a long journey through remote, nebula-painted space, speeding along at a brisk pace for the Host ship, the Marsiva brings her Fleet to a sudden and prominent point of traffic.

It seems that the Fleet has happened upon some sort of vacation destination! Maybe Atroma thinks that the passengers deserve some rest and relaxation... or just wants to distract them with something huge and shiny.

Welcome to Hotel Corona! Feel free to enjoy yourselves and enjoy the sites! If a hotel resort isn't your thing, you can head on over to the nearby planet and explore it's icy wonders.

In order words: it's a mingle!! Everyone get in! ]

[>> Plot Post]

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[Fenris had deigned to give the new planet a wide berth. He may not favour his homeland much, but he's still a Northerner when it comes to the cold. He'd really rather avoid the snow and ice if at all possible. He'd much rather stay in the hotel, where it is warm and relatively comfortable.

After the stress of the last few months, it's quite pleasant to simply drink in fine company again. For, at least a day, to put aside the usual troubles that hound him and have as close an approximation of 'fun' as he allows himself. He'd come across Kirk in one of the bars, and was quite content to spend the evening with his captain. Kirk was a good man, fine company, and much wine was quaffed.

They eventually found their way back to a suite, where Fenris had settled down on one of the couches comfortably, getting on with his evening reading. A little bit every day did wonders, in his mind- slightly drunk or not. As such, he'll be enjoying his usual terrible romance book drivel. He squints at a word, it's not one that really exists in Thedas, but it's in this book. He has no idea what the hell it says or what it even means. It's come up a few times now, he assumes it is perhaps a title. He hasn't really asked for help with it because...well, not a lot of people know about these books, but Kirk does. He gestures the captain over, frowning at the errant word and tapping his finger on it. ]

Do you know what this word is?

[It's Colonel. The Colonel in question is getting up to some very frisky things with his Lieutenant, but Fenris seems more focused on the word itself for the time being. ]

_{[ Kirk was glad they had managed to smooth things over from the other planet. He would have been disappointed in both himself and Fenris if they had not managed to overcome that between themselves. Especially because he liked hanging around with the elf, despite his grouchy attitude.

The suite they ended up in was the one Kirk had procured, the walls and floors cut through with glass in geometric patterns that showed water beneath and fish slowly meandering. It cast interesting reflections across the room, and it was his favorite color - blue. It truly set the mood for their wine drinking and one of Fenris' tacky romance novels.

He turns when Fenris holds out the book to him, leaning over him so that he can read, bracing one arm across Fenris' waist. He squints at the word, reading it over along with the rest of the sentence and chuckling. ]}

It's pronounced 'ker-nahl'. It's a rank, usually within land-based military, which I am guessing is what this is since he's currently undressing a lieutenant.

[A Kirk moves closer, Fenris tenses a little. He makes no move to push the man away, truly, he allows Kirk to be that close, doesn't mind it. But years of his past life scar deep, and the tension he feels when people breach his personal space bubble is more an intuitive reaction than anything else. He relaxes again as quickly as he tensed up. Kirk is safe. ]

Like...a kernel of corn? But it is not spelled that way.

[Clearly, that's what's important here. The vast trickiness of the English language. Still, he does let out a soft huff of amusement at Kirk's comment.]

From what I gather from the story, it's rather frowned upon.

[Forbidden dalliances, and the like. ]

Edited 2016-12-13 20:16 (UTC)

_{[ Had he been a bit less drunk, he might have taken more note of the tenseness. But as it was, since Fenris did not shove him away, he remained where he was. It was a bad habit, perhaps, that he liked to be close when he was drunk (or even when he was sober, but especially when he was drunk). Besides, it happened so quickly he might not have noticed at all.

He laughs at the other's trouble with the word, unable to deny that English was a hell of a language to master. ]}

No, it's pronounced the same, but spelled different. It's a military ranking, like I'm a captain and you're the first-mate.

_{[ A soft hum leaves him this time, glancing over the pages again. ]}

Well, generally speaking, it would be. Fraternizing with your subordinates could be considered an abuse of power, or it could be turned against you later by said person. It's basically better not to do it.

_{[ Which was why he never had on his own ship, though on the Tourist that rule wasn't quite so necessary, was it? He glanced at Fenris, a sultry little smile rolling across his lips. ]}

Do you like doing things that might be frowned upon, Fenris?

Hm. We have military ranks back home, but a person above a Lieutenant is a Captain. It still should be spelled the way it sounds.

[Yep. He's really disgruntled about that. How are you supposed to learn your words when they're sneaky like that? So rude.

He gives a soft snort of amusement at Kirk's question. ]

Given how much of my life was forcibly devoted to doing exactly what I should, I admit, there's a certain joy in breaking the rules. I rather enjoy going against what is expected of me.

[He finally looks up from the page and notices Kirk's smile. He blinks, the tips of his ears reddening a little was he glances back at the book- clearing his throat awkwardly.]

Well. Without making a fool of myself, anyway.

Hmm, I can't argue you with you there. But at least this is English and not Welsh. I don't think the Welsh language believes in vowels.

_{[ it wasn't one of the languages he could speak, but he had been to
the isles before and their road signs and town names? Good grief.}

_{Kirk's smile only widened when he noticed the reddening of Fenris'
ears, the way he cleared his throat and sought refuge in his book. It made
the normally surly creature rather adorable. Kirk's fingers played across
the pattern of lyrium on Fenris' arms, the easier to resist leaning up to
toy with his ears instead. ]}

Do you like the way the two of them are breaking the rules? In the book, I mean.

_{[ He leans his weight a touch closer, angling his head so he has to
look up at Fenris through his lashes. ]}

I don't believe I came across that one, though it sounds vaguely familiar.

[He did live in dystopian-future-Britain for a while, after all. He'd heard word of other places, places that didn't quite exist any more, but places all the same.

The muscles in his arm twitch at the touch, there's always pain there, but Fenris has learned to tolerate it from people he trusts. He catches Kirk's eyes, and he can't really pretend he doesn't know what his captain is getting at. Kirk can always be counted on to be fairly blatant with such things. ]

Poorly written as it is? I suppose there's some entertainment in it. Why do you ask?

[He knows exactly why, but he'll ask anyway. He knows he can't indulge in any...dalliance, but he can enjoy the idea of it, for now. ]

_{[ He does like to think he has a touch of subtly, but what was the point in being overly subtle right now? They were alone, and he was drunk, and he lost some of his unique touch when he was drunk. His silver tongue tarnished, just a little, but even then he liked to imagine he kept most of his charms.

Kirk bit his bottom lip, humming because he was sure that Fenris was not nearly so innocent and knew what he was getting at, but he could appreciate the other making him work for it. Things were more fun that way. ]}

Well, considering our own positions, I thought it might help you connect with the book a bit more if we bring prose to life.

_{[ Wink wink, Fenris. ]}

[There was definitely a hint of a blush crossing the elf's cheeks, before he cleared his throat again, offering a lopsided smile as he closes his book. ]

To help me connect with the book a bit more? That's going to be your line for this, is it?

[At least he doesn't sound insulted or angry. More...amused than anything. ]

I...will admit, it is a thought that has crossed my mind once or twice. You're a handsome man, Kirk. But, I have someone.

[His brow crinkles a little. ]

I am not exactly sure what that entails, but I would rather not make a mess of that...whatever it is, or may yet be.

Edited 2016-12-26 01:06 (UTC)

_{[ For a moment, hope flares in Kirk's chest and his smile grows excited, lifting slightly off Fenris in anticipation. Only to fold in with a disappointed pout that shifted just as quickly to an affronted one. ]}

You have someone and you didn't bother to tell me until now?

_{[ There is an accusation there, a good friend put out at being so out of the loop, any earlier disappointment of being turned down forgotten in the face of possible friendly gossip. ]}

How long? Who is it?

[He almost feels bad over that pout. Almost. His tone remains amused. ]

I was not aware it was something I had to report in on, Captain. But two months, or thereabouts. Her name is Marian, though if you met her she'd probably have introduced herself to you as Hawke.

Well not as your captain, but I thought we were friends. That's the sort of thing you tell a friend.

_{[ He poked a Fenris and continued to pout, his drunkness making it more pronounced. At the mention of her name his brow wrinkled as he tried to think of whom she might be, clearing a moment later as he recalled a female face who had called herself just that. ]}

Oh! I think - I think I've met her. So that's your type, Fenris?

_{[ He grinned lasciviously and ribbed the elf. ]}

When one of your friends writes everything he can about you into a book he publishes, you tend to learn to be a touch more tight lipped. Though duly noted, that you enjoy the gossip. I shall endeavour to find you more some time.

[Varric is one of the dearest people in his life but good lord is he good at oversharing with literally everyone else.

He rolls his eyes goodnaturedly at the ribbing. ]

I don't think I have a type. And it's a little...complicated. She and I are together...in her world, but the Hawke in my version of Thedas is very different. We are absolutely not together there.

You mean Varric, don't you?

_{[ It wasn't a hard gap to bridge, considering he knew Varric had written several books that Fenris read, and found more than few tucked away in the cabin he had taken over when Varric left. It made sense, though Kirk wasn't in the habit or writing down or reporting ship gossip. He simply liked to hear it (and if it was damaging and needed to be addressed, he did, otherwise he let the crew deal with themselves. Micromanaging was a good way to incite a mutiny). ]}

Oh, that would make things odd.

_{[ He cocked his head at him. ]}

You're not with her just because she says she is with you in her world, are you? Not that you two being together is bad, just... I don't want you feeling like you have to be, you know?

_{[ When he was sober that would have more more sense, surely, but drunk it was just a concern - that Fenris was acting out of guilt. ]}

Hm. He's one of the best known- and well loved, authors in Thedas.

[And yet, even with the dwarves propensity to share things he probably shouldn't, Fenris still holds a lot of respect and love for the man. He's family. Irritating family, true, but family all the same. ]

I do nothing I don't want to do, you know that, Kirk.

[But it is a good question. For a while, back in Exsilium, he had felt guilty about it. He was observant by nature, and he'd noticed the way she had looked at him. That longing for something she couldn't have- and the sadness that came along with the knowledge he wasn't the Fenris she shared her life with. However much she liked to say otherwise, say that to her, they were all the same, he knew that wasn't really the case. If it was, he would have been just as likely to turn against her, his own Hawke, as he had Adalwolfe, and die in trying to destroy one of the few people who ever had his back. No. He wasn't that Fenris, just as he wasn't hers.

But he'd grown to know her for who she was, in Exsilium, and then more so here. He'd come to care about her for her own person, and she had given him his space to do so. He couldn't be what she wanted him to be, he knew that. He couldn't give her what she had with that other version of him. But he cherished what they did have, even if he couldn't put a word to it. ]

She never expected me to follow the path of the Fenris she knows, never pushed for us to be together. I came to it on my own. But...it was a factor, though more one to pull us apart than anything else. I cannot be what she know of me...that other me. If anything, it is less fair on her. She gives more to me than I could ever truly give to her.

[Love, for example. In another world, in another path, clearly this was something attainable to him. But now? He's not sure. He thought he loved Dorian, but that just turned out an unhealthy dark mark on him. An awful echo of the other man he thought he loved once upon a time. Love was a cage, a way to manipulate and chain him. He can't allow himself to love. Not in this life.]

Edited 2017-01-02 18:53 (UTC)

I know you don't, but feelings can be tricky things, you know? We can feel like we're doing it for ourselves, or for others, convince ourselves of it, but the truth is we're not really in it for the right reasons.

_{[ It had been something he struggled with until recently, especially in his role as captain. Not here, but on the Enterprise. Thankfully, recent events had clarified some things for him, but even he could admit that his reasons for actually joining Star Fleet hadn't been all that altruistic, or what one might even call noble and good.

And when it came to actual relationships? God forbid. He was horrible at those, even he knew that. There was no denying it, and he didn't even try so much as he tried to make sure they never actually happened. Friends were one thing, friends with benefits another, but being able to admit to someone that he might feel something like love? It scared him. Scared him shitless. Thank god no therapist he had ever seen managed to hit on that.

He patted Fenris' thigh idly. ]}

Just so long as you're happy, that's all I wanted to be sure of.

Seems like everyone on the Tourist is shacking up except me. Last man standing.

Hm, I am aware. They are often more trouble than they are worth.

[Feelings. They're oft too much to deal with, especially for him. Far too easy to trust in them and get yourself hurt for the trouble. It's just asking for heartbreak. Much better to protect yourself, not let yourself fall into that pit. Not when it clouds your judgement to the point where you can't even trust yourself. ]

I am happy...or as close to it as I can be.

[He doubts he'll ever be truly happy. Some things, he just cannot have. ]

Oh? What of that man I see frequenting the Tourist on occasion? The one with the odd coloured eyes?

_{[ He can read between lines, and he knows that Fenris' past was harsh. He could see it being hard for the other to open up, to let someone in so personally. It made him a touch jealous, in a strange way, because he considered Fenris a friend. He wanted to be a support for him, but he knew that forcing his way in would only get him rejected. On the other hand, he was happy that Fenris had someone close like that to lean on and find comfort in. The man deserved as much.

He smiles at the thought and for a brief second there is a squeeze on Fenris' arm, a silent communication before he starts in surprise. ]}

You mean Remy? We're not like that. Yes, we sleep together, but it's really a friends with benefits sort of thing, nothing quite so serious as you and this Hawke.

[Kirk would likely be surprised, by how much Fenris actually does trust him. By how close the man has gotten to him. He wouldn't have been allowed to sit so close, to touch him so freely otherwise. They absolutely would not of been having this conversation, either. ]

Oh. I understand.

[And he really does. It's what he has with Isabela back home, after all. Just sex, no feelings involved. It worked well enough for them. They had far too many respective problems with being tied to another person to become anything like a couple. It was what it was, and he was content with it.

Still, the last man standing thing meant something, even if it was Kirk being jokey. The elf offers a smile. ]

Is that what you want? Something serious?

[Sorry, Kirk, you brought this on yourself. ]

_{[ This was not how he expected this conversation to go. At all. In
fact, he hadn't expected it to involve this much talking, frankly. And he
thought it would be happening over on the bed and not the couch. A lot of
things about this conversation had not been going the way he planned. But
Fenris was being honest with him, so he felt he owed Fenris a more honest
answer than he might have given someone else. ]}

No, nothing like that. I... like stability and regularity, to a degree, but I hardly expect monogamy from my partners. It just seems unfair, doesn't it, to start something like that in a place like this, where people can disappear at any moment? And back home I was traveling into unknown space, so asking someone to wait for me is practically cruel, isn't it?

_{[ That was what he told himself, but the truth was he was scared of
committing that way. It terrified him, more than anything else in the
world, but saying those words, admitting to yourself and to someone else
that you shared those feelings - it was a bit like uttering a curse, wasn't
it? Just asking the universe to test it, and there was no guarantee that
either side would survive that test. ]}

Yet even back home, the risks would be the same. You could lose someone important to you in a million different ways.

[His tone isn't forceful, he's not trying to convince Kirk of anything. Maker, he doesn't know what he wants for himself, it would be ridiculous for him to try and dictate that to someone else. A hypocrisy too far even for him. ]

But you are right. Here? The same person could arrive with no memory of you. That is hard enough to deal with, without the added connection of a romance. Though...perhaps, that is what makes it worth trying. To enjoy it in the short time you may have together.

_{[ He knew Fenris spoke the truth. With the work he did, it was a
gamble every day if something wouldn't happen, if one of his wouldn't die.
He had written home more condolence letters and written more death reports
than he cared to in his time, but then he had known that the possible
mortality rate for his particular mission would be higher than others. It
would have to be, given the unknown nature of his work. ]}

I don't mean to say I don't care for anyone. I do. And I enjoy the time we share together, both intimately or otherwise. I make no secret of that. But committing like Winn and Kitty do? I just... can't. It's never been something I was good at, even before I went into the Academy and out into space.

_{[ It terrified him, more accurately, but if you asked him to say
precisely why, he could never really tell you. It was just the way he was.
]}

That much, I understand. Not for the same reasons...but I can understand the difficulty.

[His are much more entangled with his former life. Back when one man was, quite literally, his entire world. ]

It can be terrifying- near impossible, to think about allowing yourself to be tied to one person in such a way. That kind of emotion...it can be dangerous. I may have...something with Marian, but even I don't know if it can ever be what she wants it to.

[He can't BE that Fenris, and that worries him. ]

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You can check out anytime you'd like.. [Hotel Corona Mingle]

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