pain_train: (what the fudge just happened)
[personal profile] pain_train
Who: A BLAST FROM THE PAST Wrath
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Paisley
When: Right this very minute, until the shuffle happens

[Action]
[She wakes up all at once, disoriented, because this isn't her familiar bunk on the Windrose, and the comfortable, warm weights of Jellybean and Officer Snuggles are missing. It also, thank fuck, doesn't look like any place she knows in Proles. Wrath staggers around the room for a circuit, tries the door, oh shit it's locked, and--

It takes a second for her never-quite-the-same memory to identify where the hell she's ended up: she's on the Marsiva.

...again?

It's a little disquieting, because everything is arranged exactly how she remembered before. But she knows what's going on this time, right?

Right?

And just as she's gathering her thoughts to try to speak coherently for a broadcast... BANG. A little spray of confetti--she remembers this part, kind of--and she's on the bridge of a ship, but it's not her ship, and she's even more confused. She whips around, trying to figure out where the hell she even is.]


...what the fuck is even going on?

[Broadcast]
[She is still so very, very confused.]

Um. Hi everyone! It's me. Wrath. First officer of the Windrose.

[This is dumb. Everyone already knows who you are, Wrath.]

I mean. You know that already. But. Um. Does anyone know why I was on the Marsiva and then... still not on my ship? Did I get my ass killed or something?

Um. And Captain Vision, sorry. For whatever I did to end up here. I didn't mean it. Unless I did mean it at the time, and then I'm just really, really sorry and I'll be even sorrier as soon as I can remember.
ringleadering: (figuring it out)
[personal profile] ringleadering
Who: Rick Grimes and You. (OTA).
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: All around (the ships, Iskaulit etc).
When: Now and onward! Basically, catch all for July.

A. Exploring/Investigation.

[ Given there are now more places to roam around and with his job as security, Rick will be doing just that. No matter where he might be, Rick will have paper and pen in hand, making notes that might appear to not make any sense given they'll be in morse code. He'll also ask questions to anyone who wanders by him, especially about the augments and job details.

When it comes to being on the Iskaulit, Rick will be trying to be find edible food and working out. He needs to run off excess nerves and energy. Also, trying to find a decent drink. So, bother him. ]


B. Glitch!

[ A slight augment glitch will make it so Rick sounds British for a little while but still with hints of his country twang and speech patterns. It'll be a mess and completely frustrating for him. ]

C. Video.

[ Another sudden change left Rick more frustrated than ever but the loss of Daryl and Maggie just twisted a knife worse in him. What happened? Did they return home or had something far worse happened to them? He wanted to believe the former but experience led him to always holding onto the latter.

With a deep sigh, he grabbed for the device to see what the network had to say about things. ]


Everyone is in different places now? [ He paused with a frown. ] Do people leave a lot? Just without warnin'? [ Now, he shook his head, looking sad for a moment. ]

If anybody needs any help with target practice, let me know. [ It would make things feel a little more level for him. Almost like how things were in Alexandria. ]

D. Wild Card.

[ anything else not listed above! if anyone wants to plot or want a starter, hit me up at [plurk.com profile] snowflakecrowns. also, the glitch will basically be Rick with Andrew Lincoln's accent. can be listened to here and Rick's accent here! ]
rednecking: (64)
[personal profile] rednecking
Who: Sawyer and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Heron, if you want
When: now

So do ya'll do that every month, or did I get lucky missin' out on all the fun? [you can practically hear the air quotes around "fun"]

Anyway, call it curiosity or boredom if you want, but has anyone else done this song and dance before? I'm talkin' about the gettin' dragged to other worlds nonsense, but if any of ya'll come from a world with space travel, humor and me and tell me about that, too. I'll even give points out for someone who manages to surprise me with somethin' new.

[he pauses before he ends the video]

Hell, why not - if Oceanic Flight 815 means anything to you, come on down and let's chat.
collegedropout: (pic#10395913)
[personal profile] collegedropout
Who: Sam Winchester and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Space Bar or SS Bloodsport
When: The 9th - sometime these next few days.
(Note: feel free to take your time tagging this if you have a calibration with him! Or we can wrap it up quick or plan out the ending, whatever you prefer! No rush.)

[ACTION.]

[So — Sam got updated. Thank fucking christ. Nami, you'd better be ready for him to excitedly knock on your door at some point. You can also find Sam at The Space Bar, where he's right back to bar-tending. Feel free to stop by if you need him. But as everyone settles back into normalcy aboard the fleet, Sam makes a new entry to the network. Gotta air out that dirty laundry business.

A few days after they've returned home:]


[VIDEO.]

So, um. That was something, huh...?

[He clears his throat, drums his fingers on top of an old red book.]

Let's just clear the room — I wanted to apologize for... anyone who had gone into my head, or whatever you want to call it. I know there's a lot in there that isn't exactly pleasant to deal with. But I'm cool with it. I mean, I remember it all, and I'm totally fine with everything. So if you're worried about the whole trespassing thing... I'll get over it.

I'm just... I'm sorry, because I know some of it was... Yeah.

[He's dealt with worse. Far worse.]

There are some things for me to be thankful for, right now, in better news; I got a quick trip back home between the Marsiva and the Bloodsport. See, um... My brother, he made it out of a predicament in one piece when I was sure he was gone. And I did, too. Somehow. And I got to meet my mom. Like, in the flesh, as herself.

So as shitty as this month has been in some respects... I'm... just happy I've got her and my brother.

[Ehem.]

Anyway. Enough of the sappy serious stuff.

Anyone want to rent out a book? I'm starting to get quite a collection here.

I've got a list, I'll post it for you guys.

[ATTACHMENT://

IT by Stephen King
(Peggy)
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Rick)
The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Arthur)
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems
Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Bucky)
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (Sawyer)
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
]




... And...

[He holds up two more: All My Friends are Dead by Avery Monson and Jory John, and... The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories by Alisa Surkis and Monica Nolan. He winces.]

Look, I'm not going to kink shame — but someone please take the horse one. You can pass it around like it's The Ring video for all I care.
timelysteward: (Resting Bitch Face)
[personal profile] timelysteward
[Does this look like a harassed clock with a human face? Does it? Good, because it's Cogsworth, sitting in front of a window on the Marvisa and he looks like he just swallowed about a half a dozen lemons. In his tiny brass hands he is holding a piece of paper, and he keeps fiddling with it, shifting it between his two hands.

He puts one brass hand up to his mouth, clears his throat, and then fumbles with the paper for a moment. Could he be ... nervous? It's possible.

Lips pressed together, the time hands on his face twitching, he states flatly.]

Hello. My name is Cogsworth and I am a ... [now he has to look at the word.] Ho-mo-sexual. I realize that I am a ... clock, but I assure you that I am not a ho-mo-sex-ual clock, but a ho-mo-sex-ual man. I have been ... told. Rigorously.

[Here he is glowering.]

That I need to ... 'embrace' this. So. If there are any ... individual males who would not mind ... being complimented by a ... human clock, then, ah. Please! Come forward.

[Okay he'll try a smile but it's more of a sheepish grimace at this point. God help him.]

001; video

May. 23rd, 2017 05:06 pm
volitans: (38)
[personal profile] volitans
Who: Sam Wilson
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

Well, now, this is real nice, isn't it? [Judging by the dry tone of Sam's voice, it isn't.] Not that I was doing anything important back home, but it sure as hell beats being scooped up and used to boost ratings on some sort of intergalactic Big Brother. [And, muttered to himself:] I don't even wanna know what happens if you get voted off.

[Back in a normal voice:] So, I'm Sam. Earth, twenty-first century. Guess I'm stuck here for a few days, huh? On the totally not creepy uninhabited giant spaceship. Yeah, I can see the ratings skyrocketing already. This sure better not be some kinda horror show, 'cause I know the black guy's always the first person to get killed by the out of control robots.

-nah, just kidding, they never even have black guys in space to begin with, I'm safe.

[sam what r u even on about]

Also, this food sucks big-time. Come on, can't they feed TV stars better than this? Why couldn't I get trapped on Food Network?
mucked: (☂ just get inside -- it's almost over)
[personal profile] mucked
Who: Peggy Carter, some rumours, and you!
Broadcast: text, then video.
Action: y, aboard the starstruck.
When: today!

[ a message materializes on the network around midday: ]

Peggy Carter's got a veritable guy-pile of suitors: Edwin Jarvis, Max Rockatansky, Jason Wilkes, Jack Thompson, Howard Stark, Stefan Salvatore, Steve Rogers, Sam Winchester, James Barnes, Clint Barton, Daniel Sousa, and counting! How many more can you name?

[ and not long after (in a state of utter pique and dismay), that same network registers a rather heartfelt reaction -- but this time with accompanying wide-eyed video. ] Jack -- Jack Thompson? Un-bloody-likely. The only thing he's ever got his eyes on is the next greasy rung on the ladder. [ peggy scoffs, disgusted. ] As pranks go, this one's been truly shambolic. The first of April was days ago.

[ in a few hours, she'll enjoy her meltdown all over again when she finds a box of sponsor gifts in the cargo bay filled with stickers, each with a different so-called suitor's name scribbled into the blank space. all of them are filled in except for an ominous pile with an attached note: in case there's so many you start to forget their names. blanks included for any others that we might have missed. ]

◉ Text

Mar. 30th, 2017 09:07 pm
vagabond_code: (↪but we've been there a hundred times)
[personal profile] vagabond_code
Who: Clint Barton and some of you.
When: Now.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: Aboard the First Breath, if you want to come see him.

I haven't been in a coma here yet. If that's what you'd call it. I haven't disappeared for a while like some of you have. I get that when that happens you can come back later along in your life than when you left, or changed compared to how you were before. Can I talk to some of the people that's happened to? I'm not asking to understand what happens because I can tell it's one of the biggest mysteries The Real Housewives of Space has going for it. But it might be enough if I could understand it a little better.

[It'd be a start, anyway.]
reconstitution: (Fuck this)
[personal profile] reconstitution
Who: Bucky Barnes & You!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Heron
When: 3/10


[Broadcast;;]

[ The feed opens up with a view of the Heron's cargo bay, set upon a surface and focused on a very plain, yet sizable crate set in the center. Bucky comes into view, absolutely suspicious of the box addressed to him. He circles the crate a few times before kneeling and pulling out a knife so he can shimmy the lid off. It's removed very carefully and set to the side, much like he's diffusing a bomb. It may as well be, he knows what day it is, and this is obviously some weird thing from the Atroma.

He lifts a piece of paper from the top, skims through it quickly and crumples it and tosses the offending thing across the cargo bay. Bucky takes out a package that looks harmless enough- the crate is filled to the brim with very questionably made bottle rockets? Fiddling with it ends in a very harmless but extremely unnecessary explosion of glitter and confetti.

Boy, those sure aren't very nice words are they? Bucky seems to realize that the communicator is broadcasting this catastrophe, so a very glitter and confetti-covered captain stomps over to the device to shut it off. Not long after, a text comes through the network. ]


I don't care who takes the damn things, just get them off my ship. There are 99 more...

[Action;;]

[ Throughout the day, Bucky can probably be found sulking around the Heron, or sitting in the kitchen trying to clean glitter out from between the plates of his arm. His mood would be so much better if there were cake. ]
outstandingbalance: (pic#10792519)
[personal profile] outstandingbalance
Who: Natasha Romanoff + various
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Starstruck, Heron, Vanquish, Iskaulit & Siourew
When: Throughout February

Visits - Starstruck & Heron

[Don't let it be said that Natasha Romanoff isn't good to her word. She's said she would pay visits to a couple of ships, and in early February, she proves good to her word.

First on the agenda, she stops in on the Heron. It gets priority because it's not just a social call. She said she'd help Barnes out with his hair—it's obviously been a while since anyone gave it a trim, and he's agreed to trust her enough to help him out. Hopefully Barnes is in. She didn't call ahead to check.

Later, she'll show up on the Starstruck. She's actually been here a couple of times recently, eating Wanda's cookies and stopping by to see Peggy, but she's trying to make more of a habit out of it. Steve clearly wanted her to. And she hasn't seen him on those visits, so here she is again.

In Starstruck's kitchen.

Making herself some coffee.]


Exploring - Siourew

[Natasha takes the opportunity to get down on the planet. Or around it, as the case proves to be. Either way, she's taking advantage of the opportunity to get outside, to see a real sky, breathe fresh air and stretch her legs.

If anyone wants to join her for a hike, she wouldn't turn down the company.]


Hallucinations - Vanquish, Islaulit & Siourew

[As the month wears on, the tone of things changes for the worse. Natasha hadn't assumed she'd escaped the glitches affecting various members of the fleet, but she had seemed no worse for them so far. That changes as the month wears on.

It starts with flashes out of the corner of her eye. Little girls who watch her with eyes too old for their faces. They stand in ones and twos, tucked around corners and in shadows, glimpsed in the reflection in a window, there for only an instant, then gone. It doesn't end there, though. After the flashes, aural hallucinations. Voices come straight from her memory, clear and distinct, speaking in any of half a dozen different languages. They bark orders. Praise her dedication. Quiz her on training. A few words, a phrase, and then they're gone.

Then the visions escalate. The girls stay are no longer just girls. They're ghosts, sporting evidence of the injuries that killed them—they're students she killed along the way, bruised or bearing bullet wounds. Sometimes they're missing eyes, missing mouths. They float in windows.

They don't speak, because the dead don't. They just follow her. Isn't that fitting?

Natasha tries to go about her days normally. She visits the shooting range, or bars. She makes her meals in Vanquishes kitchen and she stops into bars on Iskaulit. She even goes back planetside hoping getting away from the fleet will ease the glitch, but there's no such luck. By the end of the month, she might walk into a room and for five full seconds, it's as though she's stepped into the past, back in Russia, back in the Red Room, watching girls be winnowed away until only the weapons remain, or she might turn a corner and find herself standing face to face with the distorted face of one of her marks from her early days as an assassin. She tries to hide it, but as time goes on, even she can't entirely hide the signs of stress.]
takingkarabusiness: (1)
[personal profile] takingkarabusiness
Who: Kara & u
Broadcast: Yep!
Action: Tourist/Rew System/w/e
When: Today!

[ The broadcast from Kara is cheery. She waves. ]

Helloooo fellow passengers. Wait, no, that was really cheesy. Anyway. Hi! I'm back in the land of the waking, so to speak, and it looks like I missed my first Fleet Birthday, which would be more of a bummer if I wasn't, you know, being held here indefinitely. Anyway! Hi! I missed everyone, so fill me in on your lives! What's been going on? I heard there was some pretty tense moments there for a little while but we don't have to talk about that if you don't want to. Or we can! Just, whatever you feel like.

Oh, and Cisco I need to talk to you. Not in a scary way I promise! Just in a normal... friend way?

Just call me!

[ Kara can be found on the Tourist or taking in the nature sights system-side. Come say hi! ]
notmutantbutmiracle: (head against hand)
[personal profile] notmutantbutmiracle
Who: Wanda Maximoff, friends, shipmates, and YOU!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Yes; Starstruck
When: Early this morning (last night) through the rest of today


A) Closed to Wanda's Christmas List

A very merry and belated Christmas )


B) Fleetwide Broadcast

[When Wanda turns on the broadcast, she looks noticeably... well, tired. It seems she did not get a lot of sleep last night for some reason. Hmmm. Odd. She tries to smile, friendly and cheerfully, though her eyes flutter a few times while she speaks. Girl's likely gonna take a long nap after this.]

I was, um, baking... a lot recently... and I, um... I made extra! So, if anyone would like some cookies or brownies, they are... They are on the Starstruck! ... in the kitchen... room... area...

[She covers her mouth with her hand, attempting (poorly) to cover a soft yawn.]

Help yourselves! I... um, everyone is welcome! First come, first serve though... sorry... I can make some more... later...

[The video feed cuts there, as Wanda falls back onto her bed for some much needed rest. Anybody who received a mysterious, belated Christmas gift this morning just got a big clue as to who it was that delivered them.]

Video

Feb. 1st, 2017 03:59 pm
passingthrough: (Gentle - Longing)
[personal profile] passingthrough
Who: Everyone
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Iskaulit
When: Broadcast: Feb. 1, Action: Anytime February

Welcome to my one-year anniversary. [Pause as she realizes maybe she should clarify that. Not a relationship thing.] Of being with the Fleet. Feels like it should come with a badge of some kind. Who hands those out? We're in a special club now, right? Secret handshake? Extra meal portions?

Anyway, I figured it was maybe time to try something different. So... Raise your hand if you'd be interested in attending a dance class if I taught one. And by raise your hand I mean call me back. I don't have surveillance set up in all the rooms yet. [She's kidding. She's probably kidding.] If anyone is in I'll set up a room for it on the Iskaulit. [Or maybe find the secret studio the previous Natasha had.]

[Kitty is poking around some of the empty spaces on the Iskaulit, but she might pop into some of the more established establishments too while she's there.]
child_of_bhaal: (fuck me/this/you)
[personal profile] child_of_bhaal
Who: Syeira and anyone who thinks this applies to them
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Red Fish if desired
When: After the sweep

[Video]

[Clean up has been rough to say the least. The place is still stained, and it might never come out. But this is when she realizes what's happened. She calls them, and they don't answer. She goes to their rooms, and the places are empty. They're gone.

She doesn't trash her room, or break down. Though it's a near thing. It stays a near thing, hovering just under the surface when she turns on her comm. She looks worried, distressed, but she holds onto her calm with both hands.
]

Red Fish crew... This is your captain. I need you all to check in. Now preferably.

Actually, everyone I know, please check in. I need to see who's still here.

[The why. She should tell people why. They have other friends.]

Zhas and Coil are both gone.

[Shit! She will not cry. She swallows and her eyes are moist but she doesn't cry. ]

Just say something. Please.
shockjock: (There is ALL KINDS of violence about to)
[personal profile] shockjock
Who: Livewire
Broadcast: Video, fleet-wide!
Action: Anyone aboard the SS Heron
When: Early morning hours of the 28th (Video), throughout the day (Action)

[VIDEO]

[Whether deliberately or by pure accident, the newest Communications Officer is abruptly dropped onto the bridge of her new cell posting, the Heron. Sure, she'd kept to herself aboard the Marsiva, mostly trying to figure out what was what by eavesdropping on everyone else, but she'd hit the breaking point and started pounding on locked doors near the end there. Which was why it was hard to say whether the timing of her sudden arrival was by accident or by design, as she'd shown up mid-tirade.]

-boot right up your sorry alien...!

[Aaaaand cue the confetti and tinny fanfare. That, and Livewire's immediate realization that she was no longer where she had been just a few moments ago. There's an obvious look of shock on her face at the sudden transition, but it's quickly replaced by one of seething fury. Which, admittedly, probably wasn't made any better by all the confetti falling deciding it'd be super neat if it reminded her that static cling still exists, and now she's a polka-dot confetti'd mess.

And it takes all of two seconds of gritted teeth and growling before she's a polka-dotted, smoking confetti'd mess as each piece starts to smolder, seeing as how she's currently jettisoning enough electricity to pass for an oddly human-looking Tesla coil. Hopefully those stray arcs of electric current that've started firing off around her don't hit anything expensive, but at least for the moment it's mostly the floor and bulkheads taking all the hits.]


Action )
collegedropout: (pic#9761314)
[personal profile] collegedropout
Who: EVERYONE
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Fleetwide
When: A catch all that can be any time after the big battle.

Just a catch-all for anyone that needs more space for aftermath -- everything's in disarray and nothing's gonna be fixed up overnight! This can take place as the fleet ships as people heal, make repairs, and try to keep each other's spirits up after a pretty gnarly raid. Put your augments and personal skillsets to good use to get us all working and moving forward. Some people included aftermaths on the original post and that's kosher, too!! Just a quick entry for farther-reaching threads if wanted, or things that didn't quite make your original thread starter.

NOTE: there's a new system soon as well, so don't forward date it too far until it's introduced. :)
briste: (.73)
[personal profile] briste
Who: Leo Fitz
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: on the Bishop
When: Jan 6th ; post-shuffle

[ he hardly had a chance to really look around the marsiva before he was transported elsewhere. the time allowed him to get his bearings, but mostly it allowed him a chance to calm down a little after what he just experienced with the whole... well, hydra. he's by no means past the whole ordeal but he feels like he can breath now, at least.

he halfheartedly looks around the bishop, trying to get a feel for the layout though not really entering any of the rooms just yet. except for the kitchen. that's where he sits down and pulls out his communicator
]

My name's Fitz. Leo - Leopold - Fitz. Is this really some sort of reality show? In space? [ and if so, why did they chose him? especially without simmons. at least if she was here they could properly appreciate the fact that he is on a ship in space right now. instead he's worried about her. and the rest of the team, of course ]

Quick question. Another question. Does shield mean anything to you? Not a shield, but just... shield.

[ and he ends the feed there. coulson, may, ward, any one of them would be much better at asking without asking. but they're not here! well actually he's not sure yet if they are. that's what he's trying to find out. at the very least, maybe this will point him in the direction of someone he can trust ]
passingthrough: (Fond - Light smile)
[personal profile] passingthrough
Who: Everyone!
Broadcast: Broadcast — Earlier than now for planning
Action: Hotel Corona — Winn's birthday / NYE party!
When: Action — Dec. 31 / New Year's Eve

[Broadcast (open to everyone but Winn)]
At the risk for earning a reputation as a party planner, I have a thing for everyone to attend again. Don't worry, lots of other people are helping pull it together. It's going to be on New Year's Eve, but the real event is the countdown to Winn's birthday which is also on the first. It's going to be in a club we rented out for this in the red shift district. Starts around seven-ish. Ends when you pass out?

It's kind of a surprise maybe? At least the part where it's for his birthday. And if you don't know Winn but you still want to come that's fine too. You can trade a gift for Winn for a free drink at the bar. Otherwise, bring some money. Cake's on us though.

[Birthday/New Year's Party]
[The space is well decorated and so glittered you can probably tell Wrath was part of the team putting this together. Lots of Winn's friends came out to help whether it was getting decorations up, managing food, music, or chipping in to buy out the space and a drink for anyone bringing a gift. Not to mention drinks for the birthday boy all night.

There's a table for presents and another one with a spread of openly available food though the bar has appetizers you can buy too. There's a big cake at one end because of course there is and some punch that didn't start the night spiked at least. There's space for dancing and a karaoke machine set up on a small raised platform for those who want to try their hand at entertainment.

The night really kicks off when Winn walks in and instead of a balloon drop there's a fluffy blue stuffed bear drop. Feel free to take one of those home. There are a lot.

When midnight comes closer some people will file out to one of the observation areas to get a good view of the nebula for the big countdown. Bring your own person to kiss!

video.

Dec. 30th, 2016 03:42 pm
edwinjarvis: frakkingcylon @ IJ (pic#10840920)
[personal profile] edwinjarvis
Who: Mr. Jarvis and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action:
Marsiva
When:
Today!

[The video begins with a fellow in a well-pressed suit and a carefully adjusted tie, all befitting someone who puts the most care into looking a well-kept part in society. His poor hair could do with some pomade - it hangs a bit, droops like a wilted leaf on his forehead, but otherwise he's made sure to keep his dignity in the wake of this... horrible event. He's been clearly kidnapped. Kidnapped! He prays Miss Carter is safe somewhere; the last thing he remembers is being hit with a tranquilizer, but he can't seem to remember if it had been a terribly dangerous affair. Didn't they have the assailant in their trunk? Oh, what a beast the man had been. He will attempt to keep his composure regardless. It's his job.]

While I appreciate that you've let me keep my reading glasses, I'm afraid I won't be broken in by such... backwards methods. Whoever you are and wherever you have... taken me, I can assure you that you've chosen a terrible person to kidnap and that kindness will earn you nothing of use. I'm just the butler; a chauffeur, and I'll have little to offer you, unless you would like to learn how to properly fold any and all manner of clothing.

... Or how to properly prepare a dining table.

[I imagine nothing of that sort will interest you, you're probably all thuggish barbarians.]

If you think you'll get anything at all from me otherwise — well!

[He folds his arms, and though he's concerned for his health in the future (god please don't murder me whoever you people are), he is doing his best impression of an impassive, dry-witted butler. As always. He doesn't sell it perfectly, but at least he's selling it, and that's what matters. Look how tough and unbreakable I am. Can't hurt a butler when he's down.]

You're sorely mistaken.





[........ brb fumbling now]


How do I turn this thing off?
benames: (pic#10210003)
[personal profile] benames
Yo fleeters -

Can I just say I'm like 95% relieved we left Planet Creeperfuck and its creepy as fuck messages behind? I say 95% because there's a legit 5% chance that the moment I relax will be the moment I get eaten.

I actually have a few other things to bring up except for alien movie tropes:

1. thumbs up to everyone who came to the winnsco halloween party. major thumbs up to those who stayed to help us clean up.

2. superheroes, enhanced humans, friendly, gorgeous alien ladies ( sup kara ) and other supereverythings - I have a bone to pick with you regarding a creepily fast hologram of a creepily fast creepily-everything speedster from my world. I want to make sure that if he comes here, we're not doomed so if you want to practice your moves, I'm your man.

regular humans are always invited but lemme tell you, it's pointless to shoot at a speedster and also I think hank has a rule about no bullets on our ship.

3. I have started preparing for my first ever Space Christmas. if you need twinkle lights or other engineered decorations, I'm at the blameless, you can come and order some. free of charge if your'e willing to help.

4. yes, there will be space engineered mistletoe. no, you don't get a choice where it goes. yes, I have spies everywhere. yes, it will give you a minor electric shock if you try to remove it. yes, I will know about it.

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