[oh, man. he turns on his stool, hunches over so he can talk all conspiratorial-like. this is one subject he can really get into! even if he still talks in the exact... same... monotone.]

Okay. Vampires are monsters that used to be humans--they become reannim--re-animated after death and exist halfway in death and halfway alive. They gain unholy powers but they have to drink the blood of humans to go on living, and they're--fucking horrible. So I-- [puts a hand on his chest!] Go out and kill them so they can't hurt other people.