[ a devious glint appears in his eye at the mention of fan letters and ratings. ]

Not like my entire life hasn't been played out like a television drama before. [ remember how everyone watched a terrorist blow up his house on TV? GOOD TIMES. ] And if it's ratings they're looking for, I'll be the fan favorite in no time.

[ he does a half-turn and waves to a would-be camera in the corner of the room. ] I accept gifts of all kinds and sizes, though let's be honest - bigger is generally better.