[If she can't drink a pint and stand up straight, she's not an adult.]

Honesty is overrated. That's why no one likes the guys who did this. They just up and told us they did it, and now we can't help but hate them. The least they could do is pretend someone else did it, and make up some stuff about how they'll help us get home if we do something for them.

Nope. Too late.