(no subject)

[robitussin]

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: n/a
When: now!

you know what sucks about being brought here

[oh boy, here we go.]

like apart from being sol in space. the basic premise here is that this is reality tv right? which is never actually reality. so they specifically picked us based on entertainment value is my guess. can you imagine anyone normal and fine and competent being interesting to watch? nah, not as much as someone who's constantly a mess. isn't it weird to think about how everyone here was picked probably because they're dysfunctional enough for viewers to keep watching? adding insult to injury if you ask me.

anyways i'm kind of curious about what makes you strange enough to be here. fill me in if you've got a guess.

Comments

text.

[astrobleme]

I have nothing to offer these people, so I don't know why I'm here.

Re: text.

[robitussin]

lol well aren't you cheery

at least we get paid for being kidnapped and constantly monitored

text.

[astrobleme]

Yeah, except the paycheck is proportional to how interesting you are.

[Check your ratings privilege.]

Text

[grandstanding]

Probably my spoon collection.

[That's definitely the reason. 100% truth. Hi again, Opal.]

[forsometimenow]

I asked Atroma once, since beyond being a doctor, I'm not sure what my appeal as a contestant is. They told me, basically, that the audience finds my lack of self-confidence to be endearing.

text

[takingkarabusiness]

oh, i don't know. do you think it's really as methodical as that?

[ text ]

[axeboyfriend]

Is strangeness a requirement?

text.

[robitussin]

three guesses as to what doesn't help your ratings and the first two don't count

Text

[robitussin]

yes clearly

has nothing to do with the whole interdimensional vacation with occasional murder

[robitussin]

seriously??

god

they're such assholes

text

[robitussin]

no i don't think that at all

that's why i sent this message to every person on the fleet

[ text ]

[robitussin]

can you name one person you've met here who you think is 100% normal & has led an average life

[takingkarabusiness]

what do you mean?

[ text ]

[axeboyfriend]

I haven't checked, actually. Not saying you're wrong, just haven't thought about it.

[robitussin]

sarcasm. i was being sarcastic

you asked if i really thought it was that methodical which obviously i did given the fact that every person here can see that message

[ text ]

[robitussin]

i mean i haven't spoken to every single person here and it's not like i know every detail of their lives but i mean

so far it seems likely enough to me

[ text ]

[axeboyfriend]

Seems likely, yeah. Anyway, I'm not the guy disproving your theory.

[ text ]

[robitussin]

ooh do tell

[takingkarabusiness]

sarcasm doesn't really read well over text fyi

well, i don't know what to tell you. i'm pretty normal.

[ text ]

[axeboyfriend]

Uh. I can summon a physical manifestation of my personality to fight monsters.

[robitussin]

wow that's extremely convincing i believe you 100%

[she's the worst, please ignore her constant sass.]

[ text ]

[robitussin]

on one hand i don't know why anything surprises me anymore

on the other hand, wtf

[ text ]

[axeboyfriend]

It's kind of a secret back where I'm from. I don't like using it anyway.

[takingkarabusiness]

[ kara is a millennial she can't not sass back over text ]

i don't really care if you believe me? you don't know me, so i don't know why you'd think i'm anything special.

[robitussin]

yeah i can tell you don't care by the fact that you replied to this just to tell me you're really, completely normal

dude i'm not saying you're like the most important thing since sliced bread

i'm saying that it makes no sense for them to bring a completely average, normal person for an interdimensional reality show when they could have chosen literally anyone in multiple worlds