driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Renart
Broadcast: Text fleetwide
Action: Planetside
When: Post-shuffle

[Text]

[Renart does not want to be here. Sure, being out in space has to be a step up from that post-apocalyptic wasteland. Space is one of the few places she's never actually been to before, and since she's always wanted to she should be thrilled.

But there are important people back in that stupid wasteland. Ones that are liable to get into dangerous, possibly deadly situations without her there to keep them safe. She's hoping they've been pulled here too. Finding out is her main priority as she fiddles with her communicator, eventually figuring out how to send a quick message to the network at large.]

Since I happen to be completely mundane
Absolutely unremarkable
And entirely forgettable
Why don't you tell me about yourselves?

Where are you from? What is your home like?

I'll let you know when you can stop talking ฅ(^･ω･^ฅ)

[At the very least, maybe she can hunt down a few of them. Or people who know them.]

Oh, and does there happen to be a curated list of every individual who has been pulled here?

[Action]

[After she's demolished those pudding deserts and figured out how to get down to the actual planet she'll be doing just that in hopes of finding someone familiar. Thankfully no one seems to care too much about her ears and tail which means she doesn't bother hiding them - though, having to contend with such an affectionate civilization quickly wears thin and after several hours of searching she takes a break, making her way to the edge of the forests. For an animal Fairy Tale such as herself it's more relaxing, even if she doubts she's likely to find anyone important away from the hustle and bustle of the markets. Sadly, the friends she has in mind don't entirely share her preference for nature. They're all human, or were human, or are human-y. Not animals, basically.

Still, it doesn't mean she can't enjoy herself for a little while before she resumes searching. She'll keep her messenger bag (and her Story) close as she wanders through the trees, ears twitching in response to every subtle noise in the vicinity.]

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ok then pretend up the fakest cake imaginable
also make it as american as possible lay the stereotypes on that shit
hostess made the box red white and blue for a reason
now fill its submarine shaped girth with the fakest frosting youve ever had and give it an infinite shelf life
and youve officially imagined a twinkie

[Oh dear god, that description.]

Congratulations, you have managed to make pastry sound offensive

I think I would still eat it, though

That's what you get for not being clever◝(´◝ω◜｀)◜

[Now now, be nice. Story's not over yet.]

Clover, Pansy, and Smart Cookie ended up huddled together in the middle of the cave out of fear, trying to avoid the ice. When they looked up, that's when they saw... the WINDIGOS! Clover told the others they were REALLY strong winter spirits that feed off of hatred and fighting! That's when they realized they'd brought this on themselves, and that they were all going to be frozen together...

But that's ALSO when they realized they DIDN'T hate each other.

[... Windigos. That's funny. Also not the wendigos that she's used to, but still interesting.

She's going to hold off on any responses, so that Pinkie can wrap the story up without any more of her interruptions.]

[Let's see if the mun can pull this off without her fingers dying!]

But it's ALSO when they realized that... they didn't really hate each other at all. They were more annoyed with their own leaders, and then they just really really really really really disliked them, not hated them. That got a little giggle out of them... and the windigos eyes flared with anger.

They huddled closer together as the ice began to cover them up too, declaring that if they were going to go, they didn't mind doing it together at all. And just when they were almost completely covered... a bright fire lit up from Clover's horn, driving the windigos away and freeing them from the icy prison. It was the Fire of Friendship, totally new magic too, formed from them putting aside their hate for understanding each other!

So the three ponies kept the Fire going through the night by telling stories and songs. And as their friendship grew, the warmer it got. Soon the ice covering the cave melted, the leaders were freed, and even the snow outside melted away! So the three tribes decided to come together and share the new land! They raised their new flag and called it Equestria!

And that's how my country was founded, and how the first Hearth's Warming happened!

[Being an avid reader, Renart is more than happy to read through the rest of the story quickly. A little sappy with that whole fire of friendship thing, but it really does remind her of a fairy tale. She likes that.]

That was a wonderful story
And a very good way to found a country
Humans could learn a thing or two from you ponies

[Maybe be more clever instead of brutishly violent.]

Do you still celebrate Hearth's Warming today?

Aw, thanks! And yup, we celebrate it every winter!

[Although her family's celebrations are very... rock themed. Comes from living on a rock farm.]

How?

[She knows of several human holidays, but pony ones? Nope.]

Oh, we all spend time with our friends and families, and a lot of the stories and songs Pansy and Cookie and Clover told each other are carols now! And a lot of places hold a pageant every year to retell the story! My friends and I got to perform in the one in Canterlot one year! I was Chancellor Puddinghead!

Every family celebrates it a little differently though! My family and I have LOTS of rock soup for dinner when we first get together, and then we carve dolls to put over the fireplace every year! And then we have a HUGE scavenger hunt to figure out who gets to raise the flag that year, and we hide presents for each other to find too!

That sounds a bit like Christmas
A winter holiday centered around family and friends, with pageants and carols

Rock soup and scavenger hunts aren't generally part of it, though

[Yeah, it's a Pie Family thing. Long line of rock farmers.]

Eeeeee you guys still have a Hearth's Warming holiday?! That's GREAT! When is it?!

Generally December 25th, about a week before the new year
It can vary depending on the country, though
Some places celebrate it almost a month earlier, or during midwinter

[Christmas is probably her favourite human holiday, yep.]

Edited 2016-08-08 00:31 (UTC)

they deep fry them too
in case you needed extra american stereotypicalness
id say you should try one of those but who knows if theyve got that shit in space

Gotcha, gotcha. Definitely gonna add that to the calendar, thanks!

[Is it Renart's turn to be the storyteller now~]

You're welcome
So, where should I start with my story? I can recite the horse one exactly, the others would be summaries

Oooooh yes please~!

Alright. This one is called The Fox and the Horse, by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm

[And there's the reason she's memorized it.]

A peasant had a faithful horse which had grown old and could do no more work, so his master no longer wanted to give him anything to eat and said, "I can certainly make no more use of you, but still I mean well by you, and if you prove yourself still strong enough to bring me a lion here, I will maintain you. But for now get out of my stable." And with that he chased him into the open field.

The horse was sad, and went to the forest to seek a little protection there from the weather. There the fox met him and said, "Why do you hang your head so, and go about all alone?"

"Alas," replied the horse, "greed and loyalty do not dwell together in one house. My master has forgotten what services I have performed for him for so many years, and because I can no longer plow well, he will give me no more food, and has driven me out."

If you ever find any you will have to let me know
I'll do the same, since you were kind enough to tell me about them

What?! That's HORRIBLE! Poor old guy!

Indeed
Humans are often cruel to animals for no reason

"Without giving you a chance?" asked the fox.

"The chance was a bad one. He said, if I were still strong enough to bring him a lion, he would keep me, but he well knows that I cannot do that."

The fox said, "I will help you. Just lie down, stretch out as if you were dead, and do not stir."

I wouldn't say often, at least most of the humans here are really nice to me. Still, that guy's a meany.

[Gotta stick up for her human friends.]

What happened next?

The good are few and far between, I've found

The horse did what the fox asked, and then the fox went to the lion, who had his den not far off, and said, "A dead horse is lying out there. Just come with me, and you can have a rich meal."

The lion went with him, and when they were both standing by the horse the fox said, "After all, it is not very comfortable for you here -- I tell you what -- I will fasten it to you by the tail, and then you can drag it into your cave and eat it in peace."

This advice pleased the lion. He positioned himself, and in order that the fox might tie the horse fast to him, he kept completely quiet. But the fox tied the lion's legs together with the horse's tail, and twisted and fastened everything so well and so strongly that no amount of strength could pull it loose. When he had finished his work, he tapped the horse on the shoulder and said, "Pull, white horse, pull!"

YES! Go, horsey, go!

hell yeah
im davesprite btw
thats probably easier to remember than a string of numbers

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