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Who: Princess Looma Red Wind
Broadcast: OPEN
Action: After broadcast (if it's wanted), in the markets around Dasil'di. She's gotta make sure she has everything she needs, after all!
When: Backdated to 3/13

[The Fleet's resident war princess, now bored of temple shenanigans and itching for more action, has decided the Bishop needs a little redecorating. So what better way to do that and alleviate some boredom than organizing a hunting party? That's why she'll appear over the network in a new, non-chewed-by-giant-water-beasties wetsuit and sporting a lot more Pointy Things than she started with. Four arms means you need way more harpoons and knives than the average human, after all!]

Attention fellow off-worlders! Many of you do not know me- I am Princess Looma Red Wind. For those of you not assisting the locals or cowering in your ships, I have a proposition.

This planet has no shortage of dangerous predators. I intend to kill some of them, and offer you the chance to accompany me. What you kill, you keep, though a portion must be given to the Dasioe as a tribute in good faith.

[She's mostly in it for the challenge, but she can't say no to being able to get a new trophy and food that doesn't come in gel form. She'll also be satisfying that new, nagging compulsion to help people who need it by giving a decent chunk of whatever she nabs to the locals for their own bellies. ~~No one tell her they don't eat meat, that's weird.~~]

If you wish to accompany me, say so. You will have one day's time to prepare!

[The hulking alien princess almost ends the broadcast there, but seems to remember something just after shutting off the communicator, and quickly flickers back onto the screen.]

Oh! And if you happen to kill any creature with gills, keep it to yourself. The locals won't appreciate it. Good battle to you!

[Okay now she's done, and happily ends the broadcast with that unusual farewell.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Are they worthy predators though?

[ Because Cara hates bothering with small fry. ]

I am certain I have battled worse, but I have been assured they are very aggressive. And more than capable of devouring the unprepared!

[It probably wasn't healthy to be excited by that knowledge, but she certainly was. Granted, she was also told they could make a meal out of her, but she found that difficult to believe. Though, that'd be the case even if she weren't bulletproof.]

If the creatures had not been known to best a few hunters, I would not lower myself to pursuing them.

[ Hm. Still. ]

I'm not too fond of hunting dumb beasts.

Then you may stay here if you are unwilling to risk disappointment.

[It's not a severe shift- by her usual metric, anyway- but the princess' attitude has definitely soured somewhat. Despite those completely featureless eyes and no immediately noticeable brow, she still manages to make it apparent when she's giving someone a bit of an angry Look.]

I am as new to this world as you, human. I cannot confirm the Dasioe's tales until I have fought the creatures myself. You are free to accompany me or remain behind, but I will not be making a second trip.

I'm unwilling to waste my skills on the weak.

[ Cara isn't bothered or even stung. ]

I can make my own trips without being accompanied to hunt for sport.

Then stop wasting time, and do so.

[She is not the sort of princess known for level-headedness and decorum, so she'll be ending her transmission now. She's got sea beasties to prepare for!]

[ Wow. Maturity at its finest. Certainly gave Cara a run for her money. ]

Uh - which predators? Have the locals specifically asked you - or anyone - to hunt them?

One familiar to them. And I would not be undertaking this venture without their blessing.

[There is a definite, plainly implied warning to stop questioning her there. Not just in her tone, either- she's gotten very good at delivering pointed looks over the years.]

Now, you are either interested, or you are not. Only one of those options is worth my time, human.

Are we getting paid?

[ Kai's pretty much in the 'cowering in the ship' place, but he's interested to know if this planet goes for bounties. ]

[That sure is a giant woman. He'll just be staring in awe for a moment, before shaking himself out of it. ]

Sure, I've already hunted a few things here, but I'm always up for a little more. Count me in!

Why would you need to be paid?

[This is somehow a legitimate question for her, she happily does this sort of thing for free]

Finally! I was beginning to fear you humans would disappoint me!

[GENUINE GIANT ALIEN HAPPINESS, SOKKA, you have made her day. Everyone else to respond to her had been disappointingly reluctant to risk being devoured and/or horribly maimed for fun. So if Looma looks like she's beaming and just beside herself with joy, that's because she is!]

You may need your own transportation, of course- I do not believe I can fit all of you in a single shuttle. Or one of you, really.

Because I'm a bounty hunter by inclination, not a hero.

Glory just doesn't pay the bills.

You can always count on me to be a great example of the human race being awesome.

[ Come on guys, who wouldn't want to kill a thing with a giant woman. ]

That's cool! My ship has a ricidulous amount of shuttles.

You are held against your will as part of an absurd reality show, as are the rest of us.

What bills could you possibly have?

_{[ Good luck with that. He gets those looks from Spock, Bones, Uhurah, and a number of the admiralty and dignitaries on the regular. He's learned to let it roll off him like a duck. ]}

I was just concerned - we don't want to be messing up local ecosystems and then just leave. As it is, I'm fine not tangling with things with to many teeth. Already did that with the giant moray.

And my name is Kirk, for the record. James Tiberius Kirk.

I see! But know that I will hold you to that, human!

[That can't bode well]

Excellent! Then all will be taken care of! You will need them to carry our quarry- if we can find a big one, I have been told they can grow as large as [wait, how does unit conversion even work here, you know what nevermind]...well, three of you!

I didn't ask.

But if you are uninterested in our excursion, Kirk James Tiberius, then I fail to see the point in contacting me.

[She's kind of from a world where environmental impact reports aren't a thing, so yeeeah.]

Indulge me - human manners.

_{[ He can play this game. ]}

Call me a concerned citizen. We should do no harm to the places we visit, after all, since we won't be here long enough to clean it up.

Alcohol. Food with actual texture. The usual.

Please do, I won't let ya down!

Three of me? [He lets out a low whistle.] That's a whole lot of delicious meat. We could feed people for a whiiiile.

I indulge you humans enough as it is. I have no interest in learning more of your customs.

[She's already adopted the finer points of "dealing with someone who annoys you without threatening to crush their skull" and that one took about as long as you'd expect.]

Even if your concerns were not misplaced, I fail to see how claiming a few predators would do any harm.

[That last part's an actual, honest statement- and consequently lacks the same level of obvious annoyance attached to everything that preceded it.]

You would rather trade for your food, rather than kill it yourself?

That is my intent! Well, those willing to work for their meal, that is- not counting the Dasioe, of course! The food these Atroma provide for us is...

[Gross? Weird? Disgusting? A non-Newtonian fluid?]

...not ideal.

Yes. Most of what I hunt would be toxic or at least ridiculously non-nutritious if I tried to eat it.

Considering there are a lot of us in the Fleet, it might not be such a bad idea.

_{[ Logical argument is logical, god Spock you've gotten into him deep
haven't you? ]}

Because ecosystems depend on a balance of predator versus prey animals. Removing even a few could damage that balance - it means the prey animals start populating out of control in most cases, which just leaves other problems.

_{[ It's always something that the Fleet takes into consideration when
studying animals - you must understand the balance before you go in and do
anything to it, especially if the desire is to capture one specimen for
study, or even two. ]}

I just don't want these people being stuck with more problems than they already have.

_{[ Not to mention he isn't a big fan of hunting in the first place, but
he doesn't quite say that. ]}

...how have you survived this long.

[Because, real talk: That sounds like a bit of an evolutionary Dick Move]

[Oh, that suggestion gets a scoff.]

And I suppose if there were more Tetramands, you would be so eager to abide by all our customs? Most of you would be dead or maimed within one of your weeks.

[She has, fortunately, already grudgingly accepted that it's something best not applied to living with humans. Or any other race that can't take Tetramand levels of abuse.]

As for your other observation, the solution would be to simply cull the prey animals. Most beings understand how to count, after all. Or is that one of the differences between our universes?

[Yes, someone explained the whole "multiverse" thing to the giant alien brute and she actually listened. Admittedly, not during her jaunt around this universe, but it stuck all the same.]

I didn't say all the customs, just some. Though I can probably guess at a few of yours. Your culture is sounding similar to another race I'm quite familiar with.

_{[ Yes, maiming is bad. As is being dead, as Kirk knows. He would
rather not have to go through that again, thank you very much. ]}

We have a similar practice in my world, but that's ineffective and costs a lot of manual effort in monitoring herds, watching for disease, as well as monitoring how it's affecting the rest of the environment in terms of available food. It also assumes that the local people even want to hunt, or don't have some other reason for not killing that particular animal. It's far more practical to keep the local predators in place.

_{[ So yeah, there are a lot of reasons, Looma. He is forever line
facing at you because he always has the hardest time with the war monger
races. ]}

Oooh, now that sounds like fun!

[She'll leave the ecological stuff alone for now- this was a much more tempting topic. Besides, he'd already been assured everything was above board, so if that wasn't enough to satisfy him, he could pester the locals about it.]

Begin your guessing! I will correct or confirm for each one! In exchange, you will tell me of the race you are familiar with! I believe that is a fair trade, wouldn't you agree?

[She almost ends it there, but given her past dealings with humans, she does feel like one more thing needs clarifying. So she promptly raises both right hands and shows both open palms to the camera, evidently the Tetramand equivalent of a human oath.]

Oh, and be assured that no insult will be taken by your guessing, James Tiberius Kirk.

[Willfully spreading misinformation after the fact, however, that's another matter- one that she has a pretty good feeling she does not need to caution against.]

Edited 2017-03-26 06:20 (UTC)

Grocery stores...

[ Obviously.

And much of what Kai hunts are created more so than evolved. (Rather like himself.) ]

It's the worst thing I've ever eaten.

But no, I get it. I always prefer to hunt my meat. Makes me feel like I've earned the meal.

_{[ How had it turned into this? Really? He has a rather shocked look at first, not sure what to make of it, but hey, why not? He hadn't necessarily needed the reassurance, but it was nice all the same. Probably. None of this exchange was making a lot of sense, to be honest - almost giving him whiplash. ]}

Okay - I'm going to guess that your society puts a great deal of worth on martial prowess. Your status is earned through military exploits of some sort, or otherwise distinguishing yourself in some form of combat.

_{[ That felt like the easy one. ]}

[Hopefully he didn't get too used to it, because with a guess that easy, he's certainly hammering away at any expectations she might have had. He's going to just get the flattest, most unimpressed look- because really, you're starting there? Still, she had agreed to it, there would be no backing out.]

You aren't wrong- but that's hardly all we care about. To the extent you are correct, the highest status is earned through battle and conquest- a warrior's strength and skill determines their status, and the greatest warrior is chosen to rule. Anything below that is not so easily determined.

[So, it is a pretty big thing, she'll give him that. But his assessment's also simplified to the point it leaves out everyone who isn't a warrior.]

But the whole galaxy knows of our love for battle- hardly an impressive observation. Let me guess, this other culture- they also enjoy battle?

[He's set the bar pretty low with that being his first guess, so is it any surprise she doesn't sound very excited at hearing that answer?]

_{[ Hey, have to start somewhere. Star small and build big, right? ]}

A little more than love. Their entire culture is built around conquest.

Which brings me to my next guess.

I'm going to guess that your culture, along with putting a lot of weight on martial prowess, puts even higher importance on 'honor' . This can be earned through battle, but it's essentially your specific code of ethics and conduct. Even if you win a battle, if you do so dishonorably, it casts you down in society's eyes.

_{[ He raises a brow, waiting to see if he's right or wrong. Such a thing would bring her quite close to the Klingon in some respects. ]}

[Well that was a bit better, she'll grant him that.]

Conquest can mean many things. We may not be as alike as you think.

[But he'd have to guess that out for himself, ha.]

As for honor- that guess is almost as bad as the first. Still, you are more right than wrong.

There are exceptions- but neither my father or I are among them. But we also do not tolerate it outside of battle. There is no honor in any deception- no matter how trivial it may seem to anyone else. Like my father, I also do not approve of lying, cheating, or breaking an agreement.

[So, not the person to have on your side if you plan on swindling anyone. To put it mildly.]

What else do you believe we have in common?

I didn't mean to imply it was only in battle you expected honor, it was just the example I gave.

And for clarification - I meant conquest in the general sense of taking what is not yours. In the case of the Klingon, they have built an empire through the taking of worlds and turning the people there into slaves.

_{[ He would hope Looma's people were not like that, and he does not think so given she seemed to be concerned with having the Native's blessing, but he doesn't necessarily think she has qualms claiming things that might not rightly belong to her either. ]}

Your preferred method of diplomacy is threats.

Then we are far from similar.

[And there's just enough obvious anger there that she'll definitely consider any implication an insult going forward. But, per her word, Kirk is safe for the time being.]

While we certainly can claim ownership of another's property on Khoros, even that has its limits. It is only permitted against those who would challenge our right to rule, and even with them we do not engage in slavery. Or the conquering of other worlds- even if the situation on Khoros is ever resolved. The culture you describe has far more in common with the Incursean Empire than we Tetramands.

[Momentary indignation aside, she should really get back to answering his questions. So after a brief moment to calm down, she's right back at it.]

Our preferred method is to avoid it. We prefer to keep to our own affairs, and extend the that courtesy to others. If we threaten violence, it is because that is often the most assured way to end whatever situation we are dealing with- be it an outsider interfering in our affairs, or someone foolish enough to insult us.

[She'll just go ahead and assume that's some sort of market. At least that is something she's familiar with.]

And how is it these grocery stores have food you are capable of surviving on, but you cannot find it anywhere else?

Because you have! Especially if you intend to eat something capable of fighting back!

I'm not going to hunt cows.

[ That's a terrible plan. ]

Yeah! I mean, it could very well kill me. Circle of Life, yadda yadda.

'The situation on Khoros'?

_{[ He's shoving everything else aside to focus on that. He would admit
he had jumped to some conclusions given her attitude and the way she had
reacted to him, but he wasn't entirely wrong either in that she and the
Klingon did share some traits. He had found, though, that many warrior
races did to some extent. None were carbon copies of each other. Far from.
But traits such as honor seemed to always crop up as very important within
their cultures. ]}

I'm guessing that is your home world?

[She'll just nod her head once in affirmation on that one.]

There is no unified power in place like on other worlds. Rival kingdoms and Houses battle for dominion over the rest of the planet.

It is likely we had a unified kingdom at some point, but no Tetramand can even recall hearing of it. No one can! We are just taught that it has been this way for at least several hundred years.

[And very likely predates human history because they are a very stubborn bunch]

Has a council of the houses and kingdoms ever been tried? Or is one in place?

_{[ It just feels like such a waste to spend all that time fighting. His
world had already done so and it hadn't done much for them honestly. It
just left a rather sad and sometimes embarrassing history behind. Not that
he wasn't proud of certain aspects of his world. He was. But their history
could make a person wince for sure. ]}

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lol, oh no what hole have I dug myself into?

idk but a Spock somewhere is probably proud

or horrified, lol

but tbf this is the longest he's ever gone at diplomacy / cultural exploration and NOT been attacked

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Re: but tbf this is the longest he's ever gone at diplomacy / cultural exploration and NOT been atta

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