driftfleet | quack quack

[Jennifer had been so busy this month that a lot of it was a whirlwind- and so much of her crew and shuffled in and out, she hadn't been keeping up with them as she knew and felt like she ought to have been.

Now that they were drifting, and she now had the ability to breathe underwater, Jennifer finally took the time to rest and take care of duties around the ship that needed doing. However, every now and then she'd pause and let out a groan or a derisive snort when she found post-its and pieces of paper taped to the walls, all with ridiculous things about her written on them.]

Please. If my hair had magic healing abilities, my job would be so much easier...

[The post-it notes are weird. He's not really one hundred percent sure what they're even about. But he'll still stare up at then in confusion anyway. Maybe it's supposed to be a joke? Were these letters from 'the fans'? ]

It seems strange they would chose the hair, no? Do they expect you to drape it on open wounds? I am not doctor, but I am sure that would be very messy.

Yeah, hair inside a wound isn't pleasant to have to deal with. So I'm not sure how it works, either. [She wrinkles her nose as she tears another note off the wall.] Here's one about you! Apparently you plan to replace your arms with scented candles.

Perhaps they expect the magic to work on charm alone, mon capitaine.

[He seems to consider that for a moment, glancing down at his own (depressingly regular) arms, then back up at her. ]

Does it say what smell I apparently want to swap them with? I hope it's something sensuous. No point otherwise.

A:Getting to grips with reality

[Lumiére honestly never expected his life would take him into space. His augment has helped plenty, thankfully, so he's not completely at a loss. Still, it's a very different world than one he's used to (even with all the crazy magic) and it's taking some getting used to.

He's abandoned his room, it takes him far to long to get into it and it's not like he can do much in there anyway. Beds aren't really all that useful when you're made of bass and are also extremely flammable. And so, most of the time, he can be found alternating between the bridge and the kitchen. A lot of the time, he's happily listening to the communications device, watching people talk and generally just be...people. It's nice to see.

If you catch him in the kitchen, he's usually poking through the gels, making soft, disgusted noises at what's on offer. This isn't real food. This is a crime against humanity. ]

Why does unflavoured even exist? Who would even want to eat that?

B: Rumour has it

[Lumiére's not been all that bothered with the little rumour mill that the Atroma seem to be creating. Honestly, 90% of rumours floating around about him would likely have an element of truth to them anyway. He's that sort of person.

One that absolutely isn't true is the one that's stuck to a pile of old fashioned rule books. Proper play of Badminton, 10 unbreakable dinner party rules and Law of etiquette - titles like that. It's an impressive little pile, with the post-it proudly proclaiming Lumiére's unequivocal love for them. Judging from his face, that's probably not true.

Ugh. It's like being haunted by Cogsworth. He can read the books and hear that nasally English voice telling him what to do. Or, more likely, what not to do. Which was basically anything even remotely fun. ]

Would anyone object if I had a bonfire?

[Please don't let him set fire to things in the ship, y'all got to live here. ]

Edited 2017-04-03 00:58 (UTC)

Well, I do have charm in spades. So maybe I just wave my hair over the wound, and it seals itself shut.

[She squinted at the note.]

"Passionate Pomegranate". "Sensual Strawberry". "Luscious Lavender". Lots of fun choices here.

[ Signy’s shoulders lift and fall in a simple shrug. She’s changed into the fleet-offered beige jumpsuit, because it’s nicer than what she’d showed up in. The fabric seems to be new. ]

It has the same nutritional value.

What do you need food for?

[Beverly's visiting because... let's be real, when isn't she visiting? She is also finding great amusement in the post-it notes.]

That would be rather useful, wouldn't it?

Ah! Here's another one! [She plucks a post-it off the wall and starts to read it.] "Dr. Keller has a crush on..."

[She pauses, biting her lip in amusement at the name written there.]

Oh. Well then.

[Fie looks up from the corner of the cargo hold, where her riveting game of bean bag toss has gotten stale. With a shrug, she replies.]

Nope. Got things you wanna get rid of?

Perhaps! Though I would not recommend trying it on anything too large. Perhaps a paper-cut at first? Work your way up?

[Okay, see, those, those he can live with. ]

Now those are the sorts of scents a person could get used to. Perhaps if I had them from the start, my curse would be a little more eventful no? It would allow for more romantic candelit meals, that is for certain.

[Lumiére pulls a face. ]

Who looks at a meal for nutritional value? It is about the taste, the smell, the experience.

[Still, she has a good point, and he has a perfect answer to that. ]

Oh, I have not been able to east since I was cursed. But, I am still a maítre d', it's my job- my duty to make sure that people enjoy themselves, especially when it comes to their meal. Without enjoyment, they'd just be eating to survive.

Edited 2017-04-03 01:17 (UTC)

[Fie you are good people. Lumiére gestures to the little pile of rule books.]

Qui, these. Unless you know anyone who really enjoys reading rulebooks.

[Oh, no. Oh, hell no.

She tosses aside the bean bag and walks over to where her crewmate and his newly acquired trash heap are located. Without a word, she picks one up and opens it to a random page. The distaste in her expression is immediate. A loud ripping sound follows, and she holds the page out to him.]

Maybe a slow destruction would be more satisfying to start with.

[There may be something about them that gets to her, too.]

Edited 2017-04-03 01:24 (UTC)

Eating to survive is still pretty important.

[ In fact, it's way more important than eating for the experience, in Signy's opinion. ]

I just want to grab food and get on with the next thing.

I would.

[ Getting tired of seeing her around yet? Signy is getting tired of people acting like complete idiots. ]

No fire on the spaceship.

[ She'll make that a rule, even if Captain Keller hasn't. ]

Yeah, I'd like to know my limits first.

[She laughs.]

You could even switch them out, depending on the mood. Or if there's ever a nasty smell in the kitchen, why, just swap an arm out and let the air be filled with lovely scents.

If a little bit messy. Getting hair out of a wound isn't my favorite thing.

[Jennifer then peers curiously at the note, furrowing her eyebrows.]

... really? ... US?

[Ignis has come aboard the Wonderduck to find Noctis as soon as he can. Unfortunately, it appears that his prince is somewhere else. Perhaps he's shirking his duties once more to hover around the Oracle, as he admitted to Ignis himself.

While waiting for Noctis to reappear, he's taken it upon himself to have a little tour of this ship. Of course, no tour would be complete with a stop in the kitchen. (It has nothing to do with his augment, thank you ever so much.

What he sees when he steps in the doorway is... bizarre. It's a talking candelabra. What hell has he stepped into? Upon closer reflection, he knows that voice—Lumiere, he responded to let Ignis know that Noctis was safe and that they arrived at the same time. Now the lack of video makes sense. If anything about this makes sense at all. (Hint: It doesn't.)]

I suspect that they are unflavored so that it can be changed with spices and the like from the different worlds we visit when not in drift. [Augments are helpful.] There's something like that back on my own world called tofu. It can be used for anything and is mostly protein. I usually think of it like that when I cook aboard the "First Breath".

[Sure, Jennifer, he'll be a glorified air freshener. But at least he'll be useful. He'll take it. ]

But of course! All someone would have to do is snap their fingers, and I would be there in an instant. Banishing foul odours and offering mood smell whenever it is needed.

[Like a candley superhero. ]

Of course, but to not have flavour when you eat? It is a real tragedy.

[Come on Signy, don't be that waaay. Lumiére looks positively horrified. If he had his hands he would fix this immediately, he could make her the most exquisite feast. ]

Then you really need a wonderful dining experience. I am afraid I can't make the sort of meals I used to, but I can certainly try for you, mademoiselle.

[Lumiére watches her, impressed. He grins and raises a little candle hand up and foosh up goes the page, watch your fingers, girl. It may be magical fire, but it's absolutely still fire. ]

Oh, mademoiselle, I love the way you think.

[Oh no, here comes the fun police. Lumiére turns to give her a wide grin, waggling his waxy eyebrows. ]

But I'm already on fire, ma Cherie.

[Oh well, at least he had an attempt at softening the blow. Good job, Lumiére. He figures Ignis must be visiting Noctis, because of course he would. Friendships, and all that.

He's still not convinced on the lack of flavour, though. ]

But surely it would be better to mix the new spices with flavours we already have?

[Of course, Tofu exists in Lumiére's time, kind of...just not in France. He's never heard of it in his life. It sounds awful. ]

Is...there no meat in your world? For the protein? [WHAT ARE VEGETARIANS? :D ]

[ Her brow wrinkles, confusion and concern. ]

It strikes me that there are others around who would appreciate it more. I'm not asking you to waste your time.

I suppose they couldn't resist a little wordplay.

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