003; video

[beathach]

Who: Charles and Hank + You Losers
Broadcast: Video
Action: SS Blameless
When: Right Now

[two old nerds appear on screen, unboxing a large colouring create with "Congratulations On Your One Year Anniversary!" written on the side in big, bold letters. Inside appears to be plushies of DNA, antibodies, and other related paraphernalia.

Of course, while doing this they're sharing the popular "rumors" about them out loud, for their own amusement. Or bemusement, either or]

Let’s see . . . 'Aliens stole Charles' hair.' I can’t say that’s wrong.

In a manner of speaking, sure.

What else . . . 'Hank is a beast in bed'. Hank, you sly devil.

—No comment.

Hmm. 'Hank and Charles are the perfect couple'. I think our students got a hold of this one.

Huh. I just read one lamenting our divorce.

Hold on, what’s this?

[ Charles pulls out a business card ]

Well now . . . I guess I’ll be keeping this.

[Hank's response is to burst into laughter. What a helper]

Comments

[winn]

Yes. [ with frustration, he's had to educate so many heroes already, it's like they all skipped orientation! ] You can't superhero in your sneakers, seriously, this is day one stuff - you need a uniform.

[axiomed]

Ah well. I'll leave that to the younger generation. I'm too old to be in spandex all the time.

[winn]

I take offense to that, my suits are all 100% spandex free. And bulletproof.

[axiomed]

[ He's heard the bulletproof part before and he's not convinced of it. He lost his legs to a stray bullet while wearing said clothes after all. ]

Has it been tested?

[winn]

I didn't shoot at it, but I put it through rigorous lab tests that include a bulletproof person taking a crack at it. It's not everything-at-every-range proof cuz nothing ever is so I'm not advocating testing it if you have another choice, but it's pretty badass protection and it's definitely better to get shot with it than without it.

[axiomed]

[ Charles holds his hands up. ]

Hank usually designs our outfits so he'd be the better judge.

[ Though Charles will probably never wear another suit again. He has little place in the field anyway. ]

[winn]

[ winn has little place in the field. he ends up in it all the same. ]

Speaking of, do I need to have a talk with him about spandex? Because it really has no place in a supersuit.

[axiomed]

It was the sixties. I'm sure our newer ones are fine.

[ A beat. ]

I think.

[winn]

...I'll have a talk with him.

[axiomed]

You'll probably be more helpful. None of us were particularly good at the outfits.

[winn]

Don't worry, I got this.

[axiomed]

I leave it in your capable hands.

[winn]

I won't let you down.

[ he salutes ]

[axiomed]

I know.