[ It's awkward, being the only one talking, but it's not something he actually talks about. He doesn't mention Theodora, doesn't bring up the children, doesn't dare for fear of how it might hurt him. It's easier, to talk to Sorey about it - they're bridging the gap of their shattered trust, and this is bringing it back together. ]

I watched Eizen and his friends murder her, y'know. And it was murder, back then. I didn't realise how bad it was until Eizen and I were poisoned with her Malevolence. Then I realised... She wasn't gonna come back. Not that time.

[ The gun in his hand, the whip of the wind, the cold ice that sunk into his bones, the bruises and the bites and the press of graven and rocks into his back; years of love and romance with Theodora tainted with memories of her dragon-self trying to rip him apart. ]

I had Eizen after that, but... He turned, too, and that was my fault. He saved me from my own curse and he drank too much of Theo's Malevolence. Then he had to be put down. Silva, just a kid, turned into a dragon - remember those bones we saw? I knew him. I knew that dragon too, Sorey.

[ And it fucking hurts. It burns inside of him and he breathes out, bowing his head, eyes closed. ]

Dezel forgot me, and he died because of Siegfried. Mikleo turned into a dragon and I did it, Sorey, because that's what I do. I know how to handle dragons now.

[ The point he's trying to make - well, he feels like this is the worst time, but his heart is open and bare and he fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist, beaded and beautiful. ]

I don't go after what I want. It just doesn't work out for me.