driftfleet | Tea and Crumpets [OPEN VIDEO]

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Tea and Crumpets [OPEN VIDEO]

Who: Arthur, Crumpet the cat, and you
Broadcast: Video - Open
Action: Cargo bay of the Wunderduck
When: Dec 16th

[Arthur is absolutely beaming into the camera as he holds onto a very ruffled, very grumpy Scottish fold cat despite its deep growling. Clearly, the cat wasn't happy about being shoved into the now-open box in the background of the video, but the nation couldn't be more pleased.]

Happy Christmas a little early, everyone! I hope the gifts you were sent were as good as mine!

This is Crumpet. I've had him for a very long time and raised him myself!

[Holds onto the cat's paw to make it 'wave' to the camera. Crumpet just glares flatly, unimpressed.]

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[Eyes narrowed. Eyes narrowed so much.]

... does he chew on things, Arthur? Like say ...furniture?

[Cat stares right back. This will be the start of a beautiful relationship, clearly. Arthur tips his head to the side.]

He's shredded a few sofa arms over the years, but nothing unupholstered. And that was just because I let him get bored for too long.

Crumpet's a sweet thing, really.

[There's a noise like a muffled "aww" as Mantis turns on his end of the feed. The cat is cute enough, but that name is very British and it's been a little too long since he heard an accent like that.]

Crumpet looks more inspired to leave a present in your shoes than to be paraded like that. [He lifts two necklaces about his neck up with one thumb: the first sporting jackal teeth and the other a wooden charm shaped like a lion.] My present wasn't a living thing, but now I'm wondering if I could keep a pet happy on these ships.

Oooh, I hope you don't mind if a certain pilot spoils him a bit.

[Cyril means himself of course. He's the pilot in question.]

Heh, I wouldn't put it past him.

[Well, Arthur is very British too. The most British of British in the fleet. Chuckles, rubbing his face against the disgruntled cat's cheek.]

I'll be finding that out myself.

Well, a little bit. You spoil him too much and he gets used to it.

[Tiny blue eyes narrowed on tiny cat ones.

Yes. YES. They would have a beautiful relationship.]

...all right.

[So much suspicion.]

All right. I'll limit my spoiling then.

What a mischievous feline.

[It's the most comforting sound he's heard in ages, really.]

Well, any supply of meat should be all Crumpet needs. Maybe mix it with the gels for a bit of vitamins, assuming he would even accept that flavorless gunk as food.

Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him until he settles.

[Nothing can spoil his mood, nope.]

You'll be friends in no time.

I'm sure we could disguise it enough to fool him. Or he'll get hungry enough to scarf it down anyway.

Just enough that he doesn't learn to expect it all the time.

I do have to live with him, after all.

Well, very well. Thank you ever so for letting us know.

[He eyes the cat, knowing the cat is eying him. So here we go.]

...certainly.

Surprise spoiling every once and a while then?

It's probably for the best, I don't exactly have a hand to spare to pet him all of the time. [He jokes likely about his missing limb because it's not exactly hard for any one on the Wonderduck to notice it.] And I should probably keep the one I have on the controls of the ship when I'm flying it.

Honestly, I think he's the best gift I've been sent since I was brought here.

[Pauses, cat patting at his cheek when he does.]

Even better than the tea.

[Chuckles, shaking his head. No stranger to soldier humor.]

Yes, I think we'd all prefer that!

I will assume so ...

[He looks at the cat, before he perks.]

Would you like to have some tea on my new tea set?

So that's a nice limit to the amount of spoiling to start with. I'll only be able to do it when I'm not working.

[Face immediately brightens.]

I would love to. It'd be a shame to let it sit unused, after all.

That'll do fine then, I think.

At least I know there'll be multiple pairs of eyes on the old rascal.

That is precisely what I thought! ... since I do not drink any tea.

[ahem. BUT ENTERTAINING.]

Cats should learn to eat more like dogs. They don't particularly care what you put in front of them.

Of course. I think we all could do with some pets around being cute.

[Loves entertaining people with proper tea too.]

Shall I come to you then?

Yes, please do! ... and you may bring the cat.

[Sigh.]

I suppose.

Only polite, all that.

They also drool and demand walks at three in the morning. I'm fond of them, but I don't think keeping one without a household staff to tend it is for me.

[Chuckles.]

A little mascot to keep up morale?

[He can't help but remember Sniper Wolf and all her dogs. It was always her and the scientist taking care of them...]

Cleaner than dogs, too, if I remember right. They spend almost as much time grooming as they do sleeping.

Exactly! Animals have a way of brightening spirits, don't you think?

For the best, really. Until he's used to the ship.

[Smiles at him.]

I'll keep a hand on him, promise.

And can be box trained. I'd hate to think of where you'd need to walk a dog on a spaceship.

They certainly do.

Even grumpy ones.

Well. Yes. I suppose. He will need to be Watched.

[So he doesn't make Messes.]

Good! Good. Then he can have a saucer of milk.

[A short laugh.] That would be a riddle for the ages. You could try and train them to use a toilet, but that alone would take time.

I'm sure he'll enjoy that.

[Exactly. He can get very ornery when he's upset.]

I'll be right over.

[Snickers, trying to picture that.]

And would only work if they could balance.

The smaller ones would be utterly helpless. [A hum.] A cat might have a better time of it, though, since they're built more for balancing.

But more likely to use your bed in revenge for the attempt.

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Tea and Crumpets [OPEN VIDEO]

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