[Oh, god, the lifting and the kissing and the lips traveling across skin. It's hot. It does a fine job of burning away all those pesky thoughts she could be having. She just loses herself to it for a little while. That's okay, right? Just feeling something else that isn't loss or pain or longing? Granted, it will probably lead to a shame spiral later, but that's different too!
She should be more cautious around men maybe. More like the regular Sam. After all, her first love—her husband—also got their students murdered and then accidentally killed her as well. Or would have if she hadn't been abducted seconds beforehand. Her rebound was a supernatural sort of murderer. He had a soul, but it was corrupted in a way. It was never supposed to be more than physical, but it was more and and that just made the endings (yes, plural) hurt more. At least he didn't manage to kill her, but she tried to kill him for the things he did do. And then there was Reid and it really fell like she'd found something special. Something lasting and safe. Something that might actually come with a future. But who gets futures in worlds as fickle as these? He disappeared one day. She got someone who looked like him back in a week with his name and his memories, but there were more memories. And several messy months later they'd broken up and gotten back together over and over. She'd never felt so unwanted or despised by someone she loved before. It made her first two relationships feel easy by comparison somehow. And Winn... Winn did all the right things and said all the right things, so the Atroma took him away.
Romance hurts and it's hard and she's bad at avoiding it even when she knows better. But she wants no part of it now. She wants to feel the strength in Sam's arms and the graze of his teeth. She wants to press deeply into a kiss and hold tightly to his body.]
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She should be more cautious around men maybe. More like the regular Sam. After all, her first love—her husband—also got their students murdered and then accidentally killed her as well. Or would have if she hadn't been abducted seconds beforehand. Her rebound was a supernatural sort of murderer. He had a soul, but it was corrupted in a way. It was never supposed to be more than physical, but it was more and and that just made the endings (yes, plural) hurt more. At least he didn't manage to kill her, but she tried to kill him for the things he did do. And then there was Reid and it really fell like she'd found something special. Something lasting and safe. Something that might actually come with a future. But who gets futures in worlds as fickle as these? He disappeared one day. She got someone who looked like him back in a week with his name and his memories, but there were more memories. And several messy months later they'd broken up and gotten back together over and over. She'd never felt so unwanted or despised by someone she loved before. It made her first two relationships feel easy by comparison somehow. And Winn... Winn did all the right things and said all the right things, so the Atroma took him away.
Romance hurts and it's hard and she's bad at avoiding it even when she knows better. But she wants no part of it now. She wants to feel the strength in Sam's arms and the graze of his teeth. She wants to press deeply into a kiss and hold tightly to his body.]