I know you aren't. [She's not always sure to make of his different sides. Is that veneer a way of hiding who he is? Is it so that if people hate him or attack him it's not the real him anyway? He keeps that safe inside? Or is it part of who he is? Maybe more of who he is than she gives it credit for. Maybe who he wants to be and aspires to be. She doesn't really know, but she's curious about him.]
Mm...talk about how I feel after a fight, huh? Sounds so reasonable and mature. [Definitely not something she did a lot of. It always seemed like it was hard for Winn to hear those things. After he was attacked by Sascha he stopped eating meat and slept with the lights on for a long time. She wasn't about to lay more horrifying tales on him. And before that with Piotr maybe she just assumed they were both already thinking the same things. Except they weren't, were they? They ended up in such different places by the end when they'd been such a close team before. Maybe they should have talked more.]
There were so many of them. And I wasn't scared for myself. They were slow and relatively weak [They weren't frail exactly. These were fresh zombies, but it wasn't a trained opponent with weapons and powers which she's trained to fight] and if anyone was built to deal with something like that it's me. But Tyrion was there and Chekov and I know they've both had to fight before, but it's not their whole life? With our crew we all know how to handle ourselves. [Less so when Yuri was around, but that was just one person to protect.] And there were all these aliens just there for snacks and whatever and more and more of them kept turning which meant I wasn't keeping up. I wasn't keeping them safe. I know I can't save everyone, but... [She never had that standard. It was too impossible to even think in her world. But it did feel more attainable in the prison and here and she still wasn't coming close.]
I don't know. I guess those are my kind of jumbled thoughts.
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Mm...talk about how I feel after a fight, huh? Sounds so reasonable and mature. [Definitely not something she did a lot of. It always seemed like it was hard for Winn to hear those things. After he was attacked by Sascha he stopped eating meat and slept with the lights on for a long time. She wasn't about to lay more horrifying tales on him. And before that with Piotr maybe she just assumed they were both already thinking the same things. Except they weren't, were they? They ended up in such different places by the end when they'd been such a close team before. Maybe they should have talked more.]
There were so many of them. And I wasn't scared for myself. They were slow and relatively weak [They weren't frail exactly. These were fresh zombies, but it wasn't a trained opponent with weapons and powers which she's trained to fight] and if anyone was built to deal with something like that it's me. But Tyrion was there and Chekov and I know they've both had to fight before, but it's not their whole life? With our crew we all know how to handle ourselves. [Less so when Yuri was around, but that was just one person to protect.] And there were all these aliens just there for snacks and whatever and more and more of them kept turning which meant I wasn't keeping up. I wasn't keeping them safe. I know I can't save everyone, but... [She never had that standard. It was too impossible to even think in her world. But it did feel more attainable in the prison and here and she still wasn't coming close.]
I don't know. I guess those are my kind of jumbled thoughts.