[ Even if he wasn't keen on discussing it pleasantly ... she's had too much experience with this type of thing in the past to not argue her point, here ]

Just because the deed hasn't been done yet doesn't mean the pain felt by someone who experienced it isn't real, though. It's not passing it off -- I think if someone chose to tell them what they had done, it would be a measure to prevent it from occurring again, to help them understand why it's wrong before they get it in their head to do it. Not necessarily a way to make that person feel bad or guilty about it.

Hell, even if I decided not to tell someone about what they did, I think I would be doing some extensive work to make sure they didn't repeat their mistake.