[video]

[abracafcku]

Who: Taako and all y'all
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Yes, Planetside
When: Now

[The video camera shows an open field planetside, obviously cultivated and fenced in, and currently occupied by a rather large herd of the fluffy behemoth sheep known as flouds that roam carefree as they chomp down on grass. It's quiet for a moment and then the familiar lilt of Taako's voice breaks the idyllic calm of flouds bleating aimlessly.]

Unacceptable.

[His finger comes into view, pointing at one of the faraway beasts.]

They're in danger constantly [Read: rarely] of being eaten by massive lizard monsters and they don't even pen them in properly.

[A floud bleats and flops over in some tall grass, which Taako gestures to wildly, bracelets jangling on his wrist against his silver bracer.]

Look at them! Poor sods. No idea when their brief littl-- well, I guess huge, but whatever, size isn't-- well it is, but the point stands! Their brief lives are in danger and they have no clue.

So! I'm liberating [read: stealing] a few of them from this hellhole of gigantism to the lap of luxury up on the Iskaulit.

Who's with me?

Comments

video;

[abracafcku]

[Get the most deadpan look ever. He's wearing a wizard's hat adorned with flowers and jewels, gold jewelry in his hair and ears, a lacy billowing blouse under a tight embroidered vest and a sash for a belt over a pair of tight pants and high-heeled ankle boots.]

....Do I look like a farmer, kemosabe?

[hymnals]

[calm ...]

Not in the slightest.

[abracafcku]

[Let's test that.]

So if your eyes are working, must be the brain that's short-circuited if you're asking me a question that dumb.

[hymnals]

[calm persists ...]

Just wondering what use you'd have for sheep otherwise. Or knowledge of how to care for them. Or basically any suggestion that you're doing this for some reason besides capricious whim.

That's all.

[abracafcku]

I have people who can do all that for me. Because they like me for my capricious whimsy.

[hymnals]

There's more to caring for animals than just feeding them. Are you going to shear all of them yourself? Given their size, it seems like a pretty big time investment.

[abracafcku]

[Fuck. He hadn't thought of that. Do they need to be sheared? Shit.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.]

I can probably convince someone here to do it. Or, y'know, magic.

[Is there a spell that'll do that? No. Who knows? Fuck it, he'll figure it out.]

[hymnals]

You know a spell for shearing sheep? Truly, you must be a mage of rare caliber.

[abracafcku]

You know it-- Or, I guess you don't, seeing how this is literally our first time ever talking.

But yeah, pretty much. I mean, I'm just a simple idiot wizard, but I know how to do some shit.

[hymnals]

I look forward to seeing how your new friends fare under your talents.

[He has the feeling that Taako is surely not a simple idiot wizard, but reckless--for sure.]

[abracafcku]

They're gonna fare just fine, Dad. I didn't grow up on farms for nothing.

[Even if those farms were not sheep farms. Or that he ever did any real work on those farms.]