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2016-12-10T16:23:58Z

Posted by: hijackass

Who: Handsome Jack and you, cupcake
Broadcast: text
Action: all Fleet-owned vessels
When: Now

H̴̘̜ͥ͒e̲̤̔͡y̳̮͂͒͆̎̕!̳̺̱ ̣͉̰͔̭̼̄́͗H̴̩͆e̽̏ͦ͗͡y̘͈͕̻̮̟̗ͤ͝ ̽͗͏͕̼i̬̻s̜̼̜̈̋̊̑́ ̢̞̖͋̓ͅt̤̟̙͜h̘͎̪͓̗̤͗͗̈́̈́̑ͅḯ̖͈̞̖̼̰̞̾ͬͥ̃̄͘s̱͔ͬ̆̀͌ ̛̬̊̓͗̈́t̡̍͌̅̎̋̈̊h̶͍̲̎̌̔͊ͩ̚i͕͕̪ͅn͉̮̞̠ͪg̨ͤ̃ͭ ̗͇̆͆ó͊n̗̰̲̠̲̦̏̅̓̿̾͋?̼̼͍͙͕̠̼̃̍ͤ̈͑̈́̂͟ ̤̫̜̯̝̦̒͐̐̐ ͉̪͛̇̑ͥͥͧG̵̖̙̮̜͈ͨ̋ͨ͌ȏ̬̟͇̜͎̬̈́͐̈̂̅̈́d͖̯̬̈̈́ͧ̚ ̫͂ͬ̾ͯ̉ͅt̰͉̗̜́ͯ͒ͫͩh̗̑͑ͨͧ̽͋͘iͧ͂̂͏̱s̯̦̞̹͍̋ͫ͒ͬ̔ ̪̦̬̠̣̞̈́̓͡c̖̠̰̥̎̃͟ȑ̘̟͚̘̜̥͋̿̈ͮͅâ̹̦͎͖͔̻̻ͮp̿ ͖̑͜i̝ͨ̋̄ͨͩ͘s̝͜ ̧̬̠̒̈́̌̓̂͛a̋̿̅̚n͚ͦ͆̽̂̍ͮͫḉ̐͌ͥ̒ͬ̚i̳̤͌ͬė͑ͪ̃ͭ̚̚҉̼͚̙͉̻ͅn̫͙͓̞̹͒̒͛ͪͥ̚t̬̫͕͖̥̓̿͗ͨͨ.ͧ̑͂̽ͬ̽͏̟͍͕ ̸͓̺̝̬͒ͯ̾.

Lͨ͛̈͒̎̒emͤ̇͝m͛e͂̈͒ ̿ͦjͭ̿͠u̓ͭ͢s҉t̨--ahh that's it there we go. Hey kiddos. Handsome Jack here. I know I know, the Hero, the Legend, here in the digitized flesh or whatever! Totally missed all you peons while I was doing the whole "dead" thing and all that, super-stoked to be back lemme tell ya.

So yeah. Just a quick quesh for you guys:

Where the hell is Rhys.

I mean not that I'm terribly attached to the guy [ HAhaaaaa the jokes. Get it, because before this he was stuck in that loser's brain????? ] but sorta weird to go from hanging with my best meatbuddy to whsht, back in a space station. Sssoooo if one of you kiddos could do uncle Jack a solid there I'd really appreciate it. Like so much I might not even vent all the air in your stupid little ships!

That's a joke! It's a joke, haha! We're having fun. This is fun.

Nah it's totally the truth. Still fun though!

[ So that's....yeah. That's Jack. In a measurably good mood??? A little disoriented sure but hey! It's a jarring experience to go from living in some loser's head to suddenly being uploaded into network. Totally killer (haaaaa) but also jarring. He's getting used to it. Which means even if your character isn't on the network? Jack's going to be working his ways through the systems any way he can to peek and pry around. For members of the Golden this manifests as glitch-riddled access panels and weird random texts full of gibberish and code...and the odd door slamming itself shut in your face. Or refusing to open at all.

Members of other ships will find themselves harassed in other forms! a.k.a Jack's just going to stalk them, see what they're doing, and then start offering super-helpful commentary on it. You're welcome. ]

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