❀ elize lutus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
princessia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-07-19 08:08 pm
princessia) wrote in driftfleet2015-07-19 08:08 pm
Entry tags:
03 ❀
Who: Elize Lutus and... YOU, maybe?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Huntress
When: 7/19
[ When Elize awakens from cryosleep is when the network decides to record her panic as she sits up with a jolt, like she'd just woke up from a nightmare. It felt like a dream, but she's certain it wasn't. Before she even acknowledges the fact that she's back on the fleet, away from Rieze Maxia, she's searching around her bed frantically, patting at the sheets for something that should be there. ]
Teepo... Teepo?
[ She clasps her hands near her chest where she would normally hold her doll. It's the almost exact behavior during her first days on the fleet. Although she knows the full truth about the toy now, old habits die hard.
As she sits in her bed, she looks around at the metal walls of her room on the Huntress, taking deep breaths to calm down. She reaches up, gently running her finger around the augment behind her ear and confirming where she is. The memories are beginning to sink back in. ]
It's this place again.
[ A pause. ]
...Cullen?
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Huntress
When: 7/19
[ When Elize awakens from cryosleep is when the network decides to record her panic as she sits up with a jolt, like she'd just woke up from a nightmare. It felt like a dream, but she's certain it wasn't. Before she even acknowledges the fact that she's back on the fleet, away from Rieze Maxia, she's searching around her bed frantically, patting at the sheets for something that should be there. ]
Teepo... Teepo?
[ She clasps her hands near her chest where she would normally hold her doll. It's the almost exact behavior during her first days on the fleet. Although she knows the full truth about the toy now, old habits die hard.
As she sits in her bed, she looks around at the metal walls of her room on the Huntress, taking deep breaths to calm down. She reaches up, gently running her finger around the augment behind her ear and confirming where she is. The memories are beginning to sink back in. ]
It's this place again.
[ A pause. ]
...Cullen?
video;
[He closes the book he's been reading so he can pay complete attention to the monitor.]
Are you-- are you all right? Do you feel sick or-- should I talk to a healer?
video;
[ It's good to see him again, though she isn't really smiling. She's sitting up on her cot, hands propped on her lap. There's some faint redness on her eyelids, a clear sign that she was crying moments ago. ]
I'm not sick or hurt.
video;
But you look hurt. Did someone say something terrible to you?
[HE WILL SET THEM ON FIRE.]
video;
[ She shakes her head. Exodus considers her a far too precious to be harmed, though being called a test subject is a bit hurtful. Mostly she's just shaken up by a whole series of events is all. ]
A lot of scary and sad things happened.
video;
But you were... asleep.
[Maybe it was bad dreams? Oh man, he has a lot of those.]
If you are having trouble with nightmares, I have a potion--
video;
[ She doesn't mean to blurt out angrily at him, but with the memories fresh in her mind, it's bringing them up again. ]
They died. None of it was a dream!
video;
I believe you! I believe you...
[He bites his bottom lip for a moment.]
I... I am sorry. I know that will not ease your pain, but I know what it is like.
video;
[ She calms down, her voice softening. Taking one of her pillows, she hugs it to her chest for comfort, almost like a substitute for her doll. ]
How did you deal with the pain?
video;
I thought about the future. I thought about what I wanted to do and every step I needed to take to get there.
Sometimes it feels frustrating, or even impossible, because there are countless steps and plans change all the time. But if I am dwelling on changing my future instead of what I cannot do about the past, then the pain seems far away.
[A small, delicate pause.]
When... when the pain was unbearable and I thought I would die, I thought about the stories I'd read. I imagined rewriting them with myself in them, making my own happy endings... baking an impossibly-high cake. Anything to keep me going.
video;
[ She repeats softly, squeezing her pillow close and pondering. What does she want to do, besides silently waiting for the pain of losing someone dear subside? Maybe she doesn't read or write much or bake like Belthazar, but she tries to think of the things that make her happy in her own way. ]
I want to make more friends and become better friends with the ones I have now. And I want to learn more about my world and... all the other worlds. [ Thanks to the fleet letting her know they exist. ] Sometimes I think about going to school someday. I've never been to school before.
video;
Then focus on that. Focus on what you want to do for your friends. If you want to travel somewhere, or learn as much as you can, then those are good to focus on, too.
[The corner of his mouth twitches upward.]
I've never been to school, either. My-- my sister taught me everything.
video;
So your sister was like your tutor?
[ Did she have anyone like that, before meeting Rowen? ]
I don't remember who taught me reading, writing, or my artes. Maybe it was Jiao or... someone from the laboratory. I don't know.
video;
[A slight headtilt.]
You lost your memories?
video;
[ She looks down with a small frown. Her lack of memories continue to bother her. ]
I did. I remember some things now, but not a lot. My friend Teepo, he helped me remember sometimes.
video;
[He rubs at the tip of his left ear.]
I heard that, at times, people forget things because the memories are too painful. I think the memories might still be within you, but only a very talented healer could help you find them.
video;
[ More like she should properly word it as "how old are you?" She knows that sort of question can be rude. ]
That might be why I forgot. The place where I grew up was attacked... I was told about it, but I don't remember well.
[ It must have been too traumatic that she blocked out most of it. ]
video;
I am around sixty in human years. But in terms of my own people's lifespans, that is barely fifteen.
[It's kind of a sore point.]
I... envy you, in a way. There are some things I wish I could forget. [A pause.] If you want to reclaim your past, you can look into healing. You may be able to find out who your parents were and the kind of life you lived.
But you also have to be prepared for the things that come after. There may be things you might not be ready to know.
In the end, it is your decision to make and no one else's.
video;
[ She whispers it in quiet surprise. That's so old... in human years. Luckily Teepo isn't with her to scream her thoughts out loud for her.
A pause. She's frightened about what she might find out if she could find a healer for her memories, but she feels dissatisfied not knowing anything. ]
I think I'd rather know something about my parents and my life than nothing at all.
video;
He's surprised by her answer, and then he smiles a little. Just a little.]
... You're brave.
video;
[ That makes her droop her head, just to (badly) hide her blush of embarrassment. ]
...Thank you. I try to be.
[ Like a lot of the grownups she admires. ]
video;
[A pause.]
I... run away from things a lot.
video;
Because you're scared?
video;
I'm small, too, and not very strong. I've been hurt by people before.
video;
[ And her fear nearly had her lose Teepo again. Milla was there for her, to encourage her to act. She has friends now, unlike when she was all alone in Hamil. ]
I'll... protect you if anyone tries to hurt you again. I'm small, but we can help each other. 'Kay?
video;
I-- I'll protect you, too. I can fight!