002 - Hardware Store

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese Sandwich and You!
Broadcast: Fleetwide - video
Action: Bishop
When: Right now.

[Cheese has been here for three months now, and it's clear Atroma aren't about to get rid of him, so he has an important mission to carry out. He turns on the video feed at stares down at the camera, his face is serious. This is serious business. ]

Okay, everypony. I have a super duper absolutely utterly important question to ask all of you. I really, really need an answer from everypony. It's that important.

[He leans a little closer in, to show how REALLY IMPORTANT it is. ]

I need to you tell me when your birthdays are. I also accept dates of anniversaries or likewise important dates to you.

[He picks up a pencil from off camera, and sits poised, ready to write into a little notebook. His words are a little muffled when he speaks again on account of the pencil in his mouth. Earth pony problems.]

OKAY GO!

Comments

video

[punchingly]

[ Well. There are talking goblins and talking a million other things in Eorzea. She can't be that surprised that at some point sentience reached horses, too. ]

The 27th Sun of the Second Astral Moon.

[ Yep. That sure is a date. ]

video

[preformthisneigh]

[That sure is a date, and he's glad she's been actually helpful on this. He even jots it down. ]

Got it. Hmmm, gonna have to see if I can figure out when that is on Atroma's calendar.

...Wait, you have twenty seven suns and two moons?

video

[punchingly]

[ She likes being helpful; it's the only thing she knows how to do really well, honestly. However, she shakes her head no. ]

We have one sun that goes through a cycle -- thirty one times in this month.

[ Oh-- her eyes light up, and she makes a...vaguely pensive face. ] We used to have two moons, but one fell.

video

[preformthisneigh]

Huh, how about that. I'll never get used to cycling suns. Back home, we have Princess Celestia and Luna who raise the sun and moon respectively. They keep everything uh...working.

What happened to make he other moon fall?

video

[punchingly]

Someone tried to use it to destroy the world.

video

[preformthisneigh]

...Yeah. That'd just about do it.

So did it crash into the world or did they...shunt it over?

video

[punchingly]

It exploded when a large primal attempted to break free of it. Which mostly saved the world.

[ Except you know, a primal. She sort of waves a hand out, trying to explain its size -- her hand flies out of the screen's radius. ]

video

[preformthisneigh]

I...don't know what that is. Is it some sort of monster? Or a dragon??

video

[punchingly]

Both. A primal is...a large attempt at summoning a god. This one -- Bahamut, he is a dragon, of a kind.

video

[preformthisneigh]

Ohhhh.

Yeah, dragons are usually never good news.

video

[punchingly]

No, they are not. Especially when they are trying to kill an entire city-state.

video

[preformthisneigh]

They usually leave our towns and cities alone. But if they wanted to...yeah, things could get messy.

video

[punchingly]

So you have dragons, too. I am glad they leave your towns alone; ours like to destroy towns. Particularly one specific town.

video

[preformthisneigh]

Why? Did it insult their great dragon forefathers or something? Does it have a crude statue proclaiming 'all dragons suck!!'?

video

[punchingly]

Actually, yes. They killed the greatest dragon and took his eyes for their magical power.

video

[preformthisneigh]

...



Yeah, that aughta do it.

Re: video

[punchingly]

Yes. It was not very nice. We attempted to make peace with the dragons, but in the end...

Nidhogg. He was not...satisfied.

[preformthisneigh]

I don't think it's in their basic nature, y'know? All rage and murder.

Plus they live forever, so they can hold those grudges for a really, really long time.

[punchingly]

They are wisdom, too. But sometimes the wisdom is lost in their grudges.

[preformthisneigh]

Yeah, ours are pretty much all about the grudges.