☮ 005. ((voice))

[delincuente]

Who: Alex Russo and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Common room
When: A couple of days into the event

[The feed crackles on, and out comes Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" at full volume. Someone found the Marsiva's music collection.]

Oh my god, why did no one tell me Taylor Swift gets good in the future?

[Once the song ends, she'll be playing the rest of the 1989 album. Sorry, Floots.]

[Filtered to the SS Paisley crew, and any other close friends.]

Hey, sound off. You guys all still in one piece?

Comments

Private Filter; Video

[save_the_souls]

Alex...

[he trails off because while he thought LONG AND HARD about what he wanted to say to her after that calibration.......but it's really hard to do that when Taylor Swift is blaring so he's just kinda, kinda looking at the feed- with a worried look and his mouth half open as he tries to remember what he was going to say.]

Um-

[...Yeah how do you even do this to cheerful pop music?!]

[delincuente]

... Yeah?

[She waits for a moment, and then turns the music down. Something sounds off in Allen's voice.]

What's up?

[save_the_souls]

I just-

[Right, okay music is down. Still there, but at least quiet enough so he can think...]

- Are you alright?

[delincuente]

I think so. Major limbs all accounted for.

[Suddenly, her tone becomes hesitant.]

... Did you see something? In my head?

[save_the_souls]

Well- yes, but-

[He swallows]

I was thinking about more what you saw...in my head. I remember...bits and pieces.

[delincuente]

Oh. The, um. That thing.

[Awkward.......]

Listen, you don't need to explain it. You're a great guy, and I know you wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose.

[save_the_souls]

Of course not- I don't want to hurt any of my friends.

[Ever. That was his worst nightmare, really. Losing control of that and killing the people he loved.]

I just- it was still part of my dream- so I'm really sorry!

[delincuente]

Hey, it's no big deal. I swear.

[She smiles at him, genuine but still concerned.]

We've all got crap.

[save_the_souls]

[....]

[Meanwhile he's not even sure what to make of this. Usually even the nice people at least want an EXPLANATION when the 14th tries to attack them]

...Are you sure?

[delincuente]

Positive. I don't care about your deadly dark secrets, okay Walker? Atroma just dragged all that crap out to screw with us, and I'm not gonna make you talk about it.

[save_the_souls]

[There's another pause on his side as he just tries to wrap his brain around this. Was this Alex being incredibly kind and forgiving? Or was it Alex being incredibly lazy and apathetic? Was this some sort of test?! He really isn't sure.]

[But he'll decided...to go with the benefit of the doubt and believe the best option, even if it made zero sense to him. He lets out a sigh]

...Alright.

I'm still sorry, even if it was Atroma's doing. I don't- I usually do everything I can to stop that sort of thing from happening.

[delincuente]

[A mixture of the two, really. Plus the added "I don't need to relive that, let's move on" factor.]

I believe you. Really, dude. Like, out of everyone I know here you're probably the person I'd worry the least about getting hurt by.

[save_the_souls]

[....Is that supposed to be a compliment or is she calling him a sissy. Why can't he speak Alexnese?!]

...Thanks?

[He shakes his head]

I believe you, I do- I'm just...not used to people being as calm about it?

[delincuente]

[It's a complicated language. But no, she's not calling him a sissy.]

I just don't...

[She shakes her head. She has a weird relationship with deadly threats, and she's not quite ready to examine that with him.]

Like, yeah it was freaky, but I'm not scared of you or anything now. I've known you for literally years and never gotten hurt. It's not like anything's changed.

[She tries to give him an encouraging look, but something's still nagging at her.]

... How did it know that song?

[save_the_souls]

[He was about to smile a little at what she was saying, but then she asks that question- making him remember that]

Ah...


I...I heard it in a dream of yours. Maybe he got it from that.

[delincuente]

[So she was right. Fuck.]

Did they try to...?

[Hurt you, she's about to ask, but then she realizes - she'd be apologizing too, if they had. And they aren't even a part of her. Just a part of her memory.]

[save_the_souls]

N-No.

It just was on a television, but your...your body was....on the couch.

[delincuente]

[Oh shit. What does she say to that?]

... Oh shit.

[She never imagined that was even a possibility. After all, in every room so far the occupant had been up and talking to her. She figured hers was the same.

What the fuck, Atroma.]

Allen, I'm...

[Sorry? Does that cover it? She can't think of another word to say.]

[save_the_souls]

[...]

...If the 14th attacking you isn't my fault, then you don't need to apologise for me seeing that.

[Sure, he still feels guilty about what happened but- hey. He ain't gonna have a friend feel bad for having their trauma put on display]

Atroma's the one doing this.

[delincuente]

And fuck them if they think this is how we need to deal with our deep, dark secrets.

[She tries to say it flippantly, but there's a quiver to her voice.]

I hadn't even told Stef what happened. Not all of it, at least.

1/2

[save_the_souls]

[He makes a "tch" sound] You know they're just doing this for ratings. They don't care how we deal with anything.

[fuckers.]

[save_the_souls]

I won't tell anyone what I saw. It's not my past to tell.

[But he pauses, debating if he should say anything. Finally, he just goes with it]

But, well...I...I don't know exactly what kind of relationship you and Stef- [Nope, can't do it] - Stefan have, and I'm not saying you have to talk about it right now, but...

If something bothers you as much as I think that does, keeping it silent from the people you care about most won't help you.

[delincuente]

[She shrugs, giving a little smile at his attempted use of the nickname.]

I guess I just feel like most of them have bigger crap in their lives, you know? I'm not about to go whining to them about something that happened a year ago.

[save_the_souls]

You died, Alex. That's a big enough crap to whine about. That's like...the biggest crap there is!

[Like seriously it usually sucks so much people don't bother coming back from it!]

...Look, Arthur died and- he never talked about it after he came back. I know it affected him. It was like...he was a completely different person from the man I knew. But no matter what I tried, he just kept refusing to talk about it because he was too proud or too damn stubborn-

[...]

I loved him. But in the end, it drove us apart. It drove him apart from everyone he cared for.

Don't do that to yourself, Alex. You don't have to talk about it to everyone and I know it's not easy to talk about, but don't let it fester inside you. Because I know it is.

[delincuente]

[She lowers her face, hiding it from the screen the best that she can. There are so many thoughts trapped in her throat right now that she can't even begin to form together into words and phrases, and for a long moment she just sits and looks at her lap, listening to Allen's voice grow louder and more emotional. He doesn't want that to happen to her, he doesn't want her to grow bitter and dark and sad - but what if it's too late? What if she just can't be anything else anymore? She wants to hide. She wants to climb under the cot and disappear.]

... I don't know what I'd even say to people. Like, I got my heart ripped out, and all my friends left while I was dead, and sometimes I wish I hadn't woken up? That's a really great icebreaker.

[She turns away from the camera a bit, tucking her knees up to her chest.]

I suck at this.