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Who: IT'S A GAME MINGLE GET IN THE VAN
Broadcast: If you want!
Action: All of it!
When: Second half of the month.

[hey everyone! how's it been going? how's medieval-fun-time-world treating you? anyone pillaged and burned anything yet? got kicked out of the castle? been planning expeditions? registered for jousting? busy angsting for the last two weeks on your ship?

this is a mingle for everybody, whether they're hiding in the volcano, out and about in the city, or up on one of those random random stations where you can get quirky souvenirs.]

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[Honestly at this point, Allen's gotten more than used to the Blue Fish's new crewmates being very strange. But at least this one didn't seem as jerkish as Alex did, nor as out there as Zoro. Then again, he hasn't spent all that much time socializing- far too much work to be done with the medical bays.]

[But it looks like he's got a free afternoon, so he decided to check out Dirkwall some more. He's got a sword with him now, a two handed one strapped to his back by means of magical RPG logic, so that's always good even if it's not his sword. And by happenstance, he comes across Hawke looking at the jobboard.]

Anything interesting?

Sure, if you like turnips speaking in tongues.

[ A paroxysm of dry. He turns half over his shoulder to acknowledge they are now having conversation in addition to board perusing, a combination of elements too exciting to be contained*. Magical RPG logic was, apparently, what also kept his staff on his back although the management preferred to pretend that's what at least one strap on any given various set of armor was for.

...the point is that he does recognize Allen from their ship; 'not as much of a jerk NOR as out there' is probably a pretty on point way to describe Hawke, at least to start. ]

Though if that's the case I'm sorrier for you than I can say.

* no they aren't

[He considers what Hawke says, before shrugging casually]

Only if it's legitimate and I'd be allowed to take a couple back to settle an argument with the Captain.

[Because yes. They totally once had an argument about food talking in tongues or attacking people. Or rather, just how weird stuff can get in the world. But it still involved food]

Though considering this world, it's probably just a hoax. [he sighs]

[ Hawke makes one of those chuckle-barks at the back of his throat and nose, mouth stretching in a downturned smile. What is it in response to? Presumably something Allen said (yes), but he makes his own fun. ]

I'm not sure I want to know the terms of an argument that can be settled by root vegetable zealots.

[ Yes he does. Tell him. ]

Edited (damn you html!!) 2015-03-18 08:12 (UTC)

[He gives what looks to be a bit of an amused smirk]

They don't have to be zealots, I just need to prove that food doing strange things isn't completely impossible.

[a beat]

Then again, if they tried to convert him to Vegetablism it might be funnier than being violent or creepy....

[HMMMM]

Edited 2015-03-19 02:09 (UTC)

Vegetablism.

[ Allen receives the dubious distinction of being Hawke's favorite person on this entire planet. At least until someone else is; he's easily distracted. ]

Doesn't that imply worshiping vegetables themselves?

[ He has never wanted to know anything more, if the long curly smile he's wearing indicates anything. ]

[oh he tacked onto that, did he? Allen had just kinda- made up that word as he talked. But hmmmmm, he should think on this- nevermind that even he knows it's ridiculous]

...Possibly? They might. I've never discussed religious views with produce before, so I don't want to claim to be an expert.

But, there have been human cultures that worships their own kings as gods so, I...can't rule out them worshiping other vegetables, I suppose.

You seem to have the opportunity now!

[ Re: this job posting, which he double-taps with a forefinger, for emphasis. Conversations that go this weird, this quickly...well, they remind him strongly of Kirkwall; he's not sure if that's a bonus or a reason to flee the premises like significant parts of him are on fire. ]

Think of the advancements to be made in-- [ Dramatic brow crinkle. ] Whatever field this is.

[He seems to consider moment, before shrugging]

Why not. I have time and it wouldn't be the strangest job I've taken.

You'll be coming with too, won't you?

[ Hawke returns the shrug, which is a little bit like the shoulder equivalent of a pleasantly resigned fist bump. ]

Sure! What's the worst that could happen? Besides completely upending the cultural topography of an entire planet by introducing a new religion, I mean.

Edited 2015-03-21 22:45 (UTC)

[yeaaaaah. He gives a laugh.]

Who knows, maybe the people of this planet will benefit from the teachings of Vegetablism.

[ Hawke laughs back! It is an explosion of amusement! ]

Come on, then, let's convert some poor unsuspecting bastards. Or...whatever it is we're meant to be doing.

[ The uh, actual job, guys. Hawke has some idea of where the farm (and therefore garden) are in relation to the board itself, so he ambles along with hands in his pockets, long legs marking the stride of someone clearly used to a minor entourage in his wake. Although if it's necessary he can modulate his walking speed and length, he just ...forgets.

Over hill and over dale (although not The Dales) they are soon at a perfectly ramshackle wooden cottage which, despite how many, many times he is informed has been constructed artificially tourism blah blah, still looks just ...very normal, to Hawke.

They are greeted by an extremely irritated woman, who has better things to do than perform an exorcism on her own garden, okay, and then shown to a little path apparently leading to the site of the haunting itself.]

I've just realized - [ Hawke considers, scratching a hand into his ridiculous hair ] - this is just the lot of some people, isn't it? Total insanity, no matter where they go, or what they do?

[ Well. At least he sounds cheerful about having had the realization, one he has probably had repeatedly. However he still has no idea how one tells a haunted vegetable garden from er, a regular one. ]

[Allen meanwhile follows like he's part of Hawke's entourage. Honestly, he doesn't have trouble keeping up. He's used to walking around, well, everywhere. So congrats Hawke, you have one (1) Warrior now in your party! His specialization is Exorcist Pariah. It's sort of like Templar on steroids]

[Nevermind Templars actually are on magical steroids. Ahem]

[Either way, like a good party member he follows along to this little cottage. It frankly...looks so old to Allen. Like something out of a fairy tale. And he certainly doesn't sense anything demonic coming from the garden. Hmmmmm.]

[Except he'll pause from his mulling when Hawke speaks]

Ah...yes, I suppose that's true. [He gives a shrug] Honestly, that's strange things are so usual for me I don't give it as much thought anymore. Is it not that way for you?

[ Heyyyyy, now they just need a rogue! Otherwise if they come to a locked door or chest everyone will be very sad. Why couldn't the warrior just bash it open? Or the mage melt the lock or something? WHO KNOWS. ...also the Templars back in Thedas are now hopped up on like, super magical steroids that also eventually consume the entire body while like imploding the brain, so that's. Great. Red Lyrium, Allen. Don't Do It.

Meanwhile. The garden is so quiet there are actual crickets. Hawke hefts himself up onto the tumbling down stone fence surrounding it and braces his elbows on his knees, waiting just in case uh. Something. Happens. You know, anything at all. ]

Up until a few days ago I would've said yes. It's more the principle of the thing. Surely I'm taking someone else's dose of utter madness. Or a couple dozen other someones. Hardly seems fair.

[ You know, for these other people. ]

[Because that would be rude Hawke. Very. Rude. If you're going to steal, do it politely. And don't worry, he'll be cool- say no to red lyrium and stay in school and all that. ]

[Allen meanwhile leans against the fence. Sigh. He swears if this turns out like that Rewinding Town mission that took a bloody month...]

A couple dozen doses? Really? [that's a large claim] Well, if that really is true- I'm sure those other people are thankful their lives aren't utterly bizarre.

Believe me, there's enough bizarre where I came from for everyone.

[ ...still nothing happening to the garden, except a rabbit appearing to cheerfully devour the few scraggly lettuce growths. ]

You don't exactly sound versed in the mundane yourself, you know.

Is that so? What's the strangest thing that's ever happened to you?

[...Eying that rabbit. Are they supposed to take care of that guy? Nngh maybe he should've read the job more careful]

[He gives a little laugh] You'd be right about that. This is actually pretty low-key for me.

Watching a garden do nothing qualifies as low-key for most people, I'd suppose.

[ Dry. It's possible he didn't read the job anymore carefully than Allen, WHOOPS. Hard to argue with the possibility of getting paid to sit on a fence in the sunshine, though. ]

The strangest thing that's ever happened to me. In what, the last fortnight?

[ He digs around in a pocket for a second, coming up with a hip flask that looks like it's been through at least one war, because in fact it has! Drink? It's actually not awful! ]

[He gives a laugh]

That strange, huh? Sure, we can go with a fortnight. Being abducted by Atroma doesn't count though- we all had that happen.

Well, there was the time I and several others fell on our heads into space no one's touched physically in thousands of years. Through a hole in the world, more or less. Of course, the day before that an egg with two yolks showed up in my breakfast! So hard to choose ...

[ Y...eah. ]

[He looks surprised]

Oh! I've never seen two yolks before! I thought that was just an old wives tale!

[Yes. That's his priority]

And...I guess the space is strange too! What was it like?

Wet, mostly.

[ Hawke ...succincts, trying not to laugh. (Just kidding, he never actually tries to restrain his laughs. They're a gift to the world!) ]

Bit of an anticlimax, really. Before the symbolic giant spiders - ironically sometimes actual spiders! - and consciousness of screaming peoples past knit up into rocks and things.

Edited 2015-04-05 03:09 (UTC)

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