🎂 001 The Saga Begins

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese Sandwich and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Right now!

[It takes a lot to worry an Equestrian. Given the fact their country faces some sort of horrendous attack once every few months, they've become rather used to the unexpected dropping upon them from great heights. As such, when the little tan pony hops out of bed, he doesn't look worried, but he does look a tad confused.

The last thing he remembers is seeing the magical rainbow all the way across the sky (it was so intense) and now, suddenly, there is space. He pulls a rubber chicken out of seemingly nowhere, plopping it on his back, before starting to walk over to the window, his hooves clip-clopping against the metal floor as he glances around his surroundings.]

Okaaaay. This is new. Where the hay are we?

[He rests a forehoof against the window once he arrives at it, peering out into the vast nothingness. He remembers another place, that wasn't Equestria, and was prone to fits of magical strangeness. He puts two and two together to make five. When he speaks again, it's a little louder, as if addressing an invisible audience, which he thinks he is.]

Hey, everypony. Did the castle turn into space while I was away?

[He wanders away from the window, seeking out his journal. He pays the communicator no mind for now, the thing he's looking for is distinctly more book-shaped.]

Comments

[preformthisneigh]

[Sorry, Ino, no one you like, only talking pony. He tilts his head to the side, considering. ]

Sooooo a whole other magical force has kidnapped us this time? What does this place want? Because Paradisa was already pretty darn creepy with the soul eating and everything. I'm not sure how you can top that.

[He thinks briefly of Tirek, and shudders. Oh. Right. That. ]

[ino]

Now we're on TV, and we're getting paid according to how entertaining and dramatic we are. Supposedly if our ratings are good enough we'll be allowed to leave.

[ A pause ]

I don't know if you know what a TV is. Basically we're being watched by an audience.

[preformthisneigh]

Isn't a TV like the littler moooovie theatres? I remember the moooovie theatre.

[He considers this. ]

Well, I always get good ratings for my parties, so this should be a synch. I'm a professional entertainer.

[ino]

Yeah, it's ... like that.

[ You know what? She's not even going to ask why it has to be "moooooooovie" and not "movie". Look at her, being mature. ]

It's up to you what you do with it, I guess. But you've got a job on the ship you're assigned to, so that's at least part of what you're supposed to be doing.

[preformthisneigh]

[Don't fall into the trap, Ino, good girl. There would be a cow pun involved. ]

A...job? But I have a job, throwing parties. I got my destiny all fixed up, I don't need another job. I already have the one perfect for me.

[ino]

Yeah, Atroma doesn't really care about that. I have a different job too, but while we're here, we're supposed to be doing the jobs we're assigned.

[preformthisneigh]

Hmmm. I suppose I could give it a shot? What sorta job am I supposed to do? Do they give us an orientation pack? [Gasp! ] Is there a free condiment inside?

[ino]

I don't know what your job is. Your augment is supposed to tell you. And yeah, it should give you some information on how to do your job, whatever it is.

[ A pause ]

There's no condiment inside.

[preformthisneigh]

Ohhhh, is that the thing on the back of my head? The lack of condiments would make a lot of sense. Nopony wants mayonnaise coming out of the back of their head. It'd get stuck in their mane.

[He sits down, sticking his tongue and and SQUINTS. Intense concentration here. After a moment, he tilts his head to one side. ]

I'm a...pilot?

[ino]

[ She just sits silently through his mayo spiel. What even are you, Cheese. ]

You're a --

[ Wait. What. ]

-- Ehhhh?!

[preformthisneigh]

[Crazy. Or a genius. Probably that first one, though. ]

Does that mean I get to fly the big ship? [He looks pretty happy about this.] That means I can travel to whole new worlds!!! that's a billion times better than just travelling around one! Think of the parties I can throw! ALIEN parties!!!

[ino]

[ Oh, god. ]

Uh -- yeah, sure. That's exactly what it means.

[ Silently praying he won't be put on her ship. She already has one wacky pilot who annoys her constantly, she doesn't need another ]

[preformthisneigh]

Wow, I didn't even know I could fly a space ship!!

[He will find her anyway. She outed herself as an ex-Paradisan. There's no escape now. ]

[ino]

[ Regretting all of her life choices. Even the ones she didn't technically make. ]

Yeah, I'm kind of confused on how that's going to work myself.

[preformthisneigh]

Ít's okay, I'm sure I can figure it out. Once you learn how to drive a Party Tank, you can drive just about anything.

[Nothing in his tone suggests he's joking. Nothing.]