driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Cole
Broadcast: No
Action: EVERY SHIP EXCEPT THE MARSIVA
When: The first half of the month

[See, the problem is, now Cole's augment is a pilot one.

He's lost the room he wasn't aware as his, but he's gained a whole new lot of knowledge. Such as how to move the ship, how to dock it to other ships and that makes his constant wandering from ship to ship much easier.

And it means he can park the Pathstone with the Three Twins and Tourist without ever going on board either of them. He can bring the Pathstone to them, and still give Fenris his safe space and people form those ships and visit the Pathstone without having to take a shuttle!

So, Cole's doing his rounds again. Visiting. Parking. Shoving the Pathstone wherever he feels like going.]

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I'm more Cole now than I was then.

You do a good job looking after Caprine.

I liked who you were then. [A pause.] I like who you are now.

[She brightens at that, though, glancing up at the ship as if expecting a response from her.] She's happy and healthy, then?

I only miss being more Compassion when I'm not. Compassion can't miss anything, I don't think.

[He runs a hand over a panel.]

Not happy, things aren't happy. But healthy, yes.

[A crooked smile. She - knows that, really, but she likes this ship. She's gotten into the guts of her now.]

Good enough for me.

Why can't Compassion miss anything?

Because Compassion is Compassion, not grief, or sadness, or loss. It can only be Compassion.

Do you like it, when you're Compassion?

Yes. But I like being Cole too. They're not... exclusive?

You can be a little of one, a little of the other?

I am both. Always. But like a scale... sometimes it's balanced and sometimes one side is more full than the other.

Oh, I see.

[She does, and leans forward with bright, curious eyes.]

What tips it one way or another?

[He thinks about it, rocks back and forth, sways his head and body.

Then shrugs.]

Don't know.

[She presses her lips together, uncertain.]

Does it ever make you afraid, not knowing that? [It sounds a bit like not knowing yourself, and that terrifies her.]

No.

Should it?

I think it would make me afraid, not knowing myself perfectly.

No one knows themself perfectly.

I don't worry about it. Or think about it. I just am.

. . . You're a very admirable person, I think.

... am I?

[He seems genuinely curious that she thinks this.]

Yes. You have a quiet strength that doesn't require violence, and you're certain of yourself without having to work at it.

[She envies him a little bit, even. She has to work at everything, though it doesn't always show.]

I am what I am. That is enough. That is all I can be.

[He doesn't really understand how that is strength, but he feels gratitude that that she sees something she likes in him.]

You're enough, Mal. As you are.

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