driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Cole
Broadcast: No
Action: EVERY SHIP EXCEPT THE MARSIVA
When: The first half of the month

[See, the problem is, now Cole's augment is a pilot one.

He's lost the room he wasn't aware as his, but he's gained a whole new lot of knowledge. Such as how to move the ship, how to dock it to other ships and that makes his constant wandering from ship to ship much easier.

And it means he can park the Pathstone with the Three Twins and Tourist without ever going on board either of them. He can bring the Pathstone to them, and still give Fenris his safe space and people form those ships and visit the Pathstone without having to take a shuttle!

So, Cole's doing his rounds again. Visiting. Parking. Shoving the Pathstone wherever he feels like going.]

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[Cole tries to connect, like he does with River, with other spirits.

Clearly, there's some troubles, because Daneel is still a robot. There's some faint licks of disappointment and sadness and Cole withdraws again.]

Doesn't work. I think you're too anchored to your body.

[There's a sense that he's... failed in some way, though he's not sure how.]

I do not know any other way to be, Cole. I cannot see how I could exist without my body.

No, it's okay. I know. People don't know how to be without bodies, because they're not.

River and I can do it, but River's different and so am I. Even Solas couldn't do it, and he was the person most like a spirit.

[There's grief and loss and self recrimination.]

A spirit. That is what you are?

[Curiosity, because this is something deeply out of his experience. Caution, because of the same.]

I have heard humans speak of 'spirits,' but only in the abstract or metaphorical sense, certainly not something real.

Yes. Sort of. I was. Now I'm something else.

I was Compassion. Rhys said Compassion spirits are weak, but Solas said I must have been very strong to come through the Veil.

[Despite Daneel's inability to communicate how he wanted, he continues to chat to him like they'd always known each other.]

I know little of spirits, but I would have thought there would be great power in compassion, in general.

[But he has a lot of faith in people, generally.]

Please, tell me of spirits.

Compassion is rare outside small, tiny acts.

[Thedas is a cruel world.]

What do you want to know?

[He considers. So many potential questions.]

What is a spirit? I am familiar with no such being. My world has humans and the robots they have made, though most are not like myself in either physical design or mental ability. Spirit is often used in a supernaturalistic sense.

[What is a spirit? A spirit, is.]

We exist in the Fade. I was Compassion. Solas' best friend was Wisdom. Some mages destroyed her, tore about her knowledge with arrogance.

I don't know how to explain what a spirit is. We are.

You describe it as though you embody these traits. Is this accurate?

[And honestly, the idea that he, too, might embody Compassion, at least enough for Cole to recognize him as such, is... encouraging.]

I don't know what embody means. I was Compassion. I might have been Despair at one point, I'm not sure. But I was Compassion until Varric helped me be more human.

[That's... probably a yes, then.]

How do you become more human?

I don't know...

But it happened?

Is it a good change?

[He, himself, is far enough from human to see a gulf.]

A... friend of mine, another robot, remarked that I often thought in ways that were remarkably human. It was not always a compliment.

I don't know.

It's a change. There's good things and bad things. I understand more about people, but I can't read everything as clearly as I used to.

Ah. My own growth has not hampered my ability to read people, but I, too, have found that I understand what I read better. Humans are... complex. I find they often do not understand their own motivations themselves.

When I was just Compassion, it was easier to let their hurt fill me, feel through it. Now there's other things in me that want to be heard too.

And people remember me now. They see me, unless I make them not see me. But before, they never saw me unless I worked hard.

I would say that's better. There is a value from connection that you cannot have if they don't see you. At other times... it is perhaps better to go unnoticed. It is best to have the choice.

There was a safety in not being noticed. No one tried to hurt me anymore.

[Daneel gives this some very hard thought. He thinks of Elijah Baley, and their friendship, and the value it has had for him.]

Even with the danger, I find humans too rewarding to abandon contact with them completely. I have had... friends. That is not an easy thing for a robot to say, but it is the only term I can use. I would not give that up willingly.

I'd never had friends. Neither had Cole. It wasn't allowed. Then I met Rhys. He was my friend.

He saw me. He remembered me.

Is it not better to have friends?

[It's more of a genuine question. He thinks so. He's not always sure. But he thinks so.]

It's better to have friends.

[Total agreement. He wouldn't go back to being friendless.]

Then I would suggest that for whatever you may have lost, you have gained more than enough to make the loss worth it.

[It's how he tends to think, in checks and balances, worth of one over another.]

I have, yes.

But, sometimes it's hard. To not be able to help like I did.