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(no subject)

Who: Cole
Broadcast: No
Action: EVERY SHIP EXCEPT THE MARSIVA
When: The first half of the month

[See, the problem is, now Cole's augment is a pilot one.

He's lost the room he wasn't aware as his, but he's gained a whole new lot of knowledge. Such as how to move the ship, how to dock it to other ships and that makes his constant wandering from ship to ship much easier.

And it means he can park the Pathstone with the Three Twins and Tourist without ever going on board either of them. He can bring the Pathstone to them, and still give Fenris his safe space and people form those ships and visit the Pathstone without having to take a shuttle!

So, Cole's doing his rounds again. Visiting. Parking. Shoving the Pathstone wherever he feels like going.]

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There is no moral to the story of Cole's life and death. No meaning. It was. That must be enough.

[He rocks on his feet, back and forth and thinking.]

You saw war. What people do. To women and children, to people who are helpless. I'm not... confirming anything you didn't know about people. What they do. We know people can be awful and selfish.

And we know some people shine so bright, that they make all that okay.

It was. Unfair, but [ he shrugs ] we can't raise the dead or fix all the cruelty in the world.

[ He comes to a stop, and his fingers curl over his chest, where his heart is. Locked away, safely, is Steve. He's barely even told Sam about what he was like. Seventy years of image management have turned Captain America into something completely unrecognisable. Nothing better than a dancing monkey. Steve would hate that. ]

Yes, some people still shine despite that. He did.

[ A long silence, then, quietly, ]

It's my last chance to keep him safe.

[Cole's eyes close and then open again, almost paler and brighter, his voice a soft whisper as he speaks.]

He never did it for a country. He did it for people, because it was right. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but sometimes, hurting people is the only way of stopping them from being monsters to others. It was war, it was dirty and muddy and dark but it didn't manage to steal his shine. It didn't dim his kindness.

His shine made you all braver, better people.

Rhys did that for me. He made me be a better person, even when I wasn't a person at all. He protected me, when everyone else said I had to be put down.

He went away as well, but I don't think he wanted to either.

[ He closes his eyes, as he listens to Cole's voice wash over him. Someone here, far away from everything Bucky knows as home, knows Steve without even having met him. Every time he thinks he's put the grief safely away where it can't tear him apart again, it does. It yawns: blue as the Arctic, and the water rushes over him, filling his mouth and lungs. He thought once, at least I'm following you. And now, it's only ever been, I hate you for going first. ]

It didn't make him less stupid, you know.

[ He's hoarse, like he's just been shouting, but he's smiling, though cracked. ]

[That's the nature of grief. Like a tide, it needs to surge and push in order to be laid to rest for a while, only to return, slowly ebbing down.]

Reckless. He was the centre of your world, but in his world, he was always reaching up for something he felt he lacked. The ones who shine bright always have the urge to climb on. They don't realise that it lets them shine on the rest of us when they do.

[Cole moves slowly, to let Bucky stop him, but he reaches out one long, thin hand to Bucky's jaw in a gentle gesture of something like benediction.]

You were that important to Stevie too. You still are, just Stevie's a bit lost. He's still finding his way back, but this time, your light will help him.

[ Something like benediction. He feels small again, an altar boy, a simpler time when he could say God loved them, until he saw one too many burnt out churches and decided God wasn't listening anymore. There's still a power in confession, and perhaps it's dramatic to say the Catholic in him has deep roots. He might not see God so easily anymore, but this is too much like prayer. ]

You think so?

[ He doesn't believe it. Steve took all the light with him when he fell. ]

No. I know. I know things. I can't... make connections like people. I just know.

You can guide him back. It'll be difficult and he'll fight you, because opening that spot inside of him is a huge risk. But you can help him back into the light and when he's there, he'll remember how to shine.

Know and name.

[ Because some things, they're known without ever being spoken, and while that's strong, sometimes they need names. ]

We'll see.

Sometimes.

I know Bucky and Stevie are still there, waiting, safe.

Somewhere it's not cold.

[ He feels old, and tired. ]

C'mon, let's go eat.

All right.

[He doesn't mention that he doesn't eat. He can eat a bit. To make James comfortable with eating.]

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