1st Broadcast - + one shapeshifter

[initforthemoney]

Who: Frobisher and YOU! Yes, all of you.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Friday and Saturday before the shuffle

[The broadcast opens to an extreme close up of a black beady eye. Frobisher is still trying to work out exactly how these devices work but hey, he's a penguin of some ingenuity. Convinced it's broadcasting, he waddles backwards giving the audience the time to appreciate his full and beautiful form. Such fine feathers. Such a handsome beak. Such... yes very much such a penguin.

You are receiving a video broadcast from a penguin. You're welcome.]

Hey, how's everyone doing today? Enjoying the view? Gotta say, real nice place you got here, I haven't seen this kinda hospitality since the Doc took us to the grand opening of the Space Hilton a while back. Real up market. Could use a little more variety in the diet though, how is a self-respecting penguin supposed to enjoy a free meal if you punks ain't got any fish in that canteen of yours?

Now that we've got the pleasantries over with, I'm looking for a guy. A specific one, actually. Tall, unruly curly hair, wearing an outfit like he got puked on by a aesthetically challenged rainbow. I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on the guy but you know what Gallifreyans are like, never following directions. If anyone sees him, tell him he's penguin friend's waiting to collect him on the hospitality deck. And Doc, if you're seeing this yourself, I'm gonna say you owe me BIG time for getting us into a mess like this again. We was supposed to be going to the South Pole, remember?

Once we get outta here I'm gonna be the one picking the destinations for the next week, got it?

Now while I'm stuck up here... this place got a pool?

Comments

audio;

[feathery]

[He'll process what the penguin is actually saying later. For now...]

Oh my god. This is officially the best fuckin' thing. They better put you on a birdship.

[initforthemoney]

First of all, kid, I don't get 'put' nowhere. This penguin only goes places cause he damn well chooses to.

Or because the Doc got the landing coordinates wrong.

[feathery]

Well, he got the coordinates way wrong, dude. So wrong you're gonna be raking in the unlucky side effects of that mislocation for weeks or even months to come.

[initforthemoney]

Great, just great. You know tell me twenty years ago I'd be spending the better years of my life following a mad Time Lord around the galaxy and getting into scrapes like this...

So what's this 'bird ship' you're talking about, kid?

[feathery]

Oh, there are a couple of them, the Wonderduck and the Heron. Though I guess the penguin 'do makes you a pretty rad candidate for one of the fish ships, too.

So which Doctor do you know. Apparently that guy gets around.

[initforthemoney]

Tall guy, blond hair, wearing a multi-coloured nightmare of a coat. Kinda prinkly but a bit of a soft touch under it all. I've been told one of his earlier regenerations was here before.

[feathery]

Oh man, I think I remember that one. Didn't know him too well, but the ugly-ass jacket stuck out something fierce. That was up another cross-dimensional shitcreek, though. Didn't know there had ever been one of him here before.

[initforthemoney]

Anyone ever told you they'd like to clean out your mouth with soap, kid?

[DAMN KIDS THESE DAYS]

Yeah well I'm still tryin' to track him down. Guy gets himself into all kinds of trouble when I'm not around.

[feathery]

Nope. [...] Wait, I got lectured once by a librarian. She resurrected a dead guy with eldritch speak, though, so I don't think she's got room to talk.

So who are you, anyway. Besides a penguin.

[initforthemoney]

The name's Frobisher. And I'm actually a Whifferdill, if we're being pedantic.

What about you, kid?

[feathery]

Is a Whifferdill a kind of penguin.

I'm Davesprite. A. Uh. Crowsprite, I guess.

[initforthemoney]

A Whifferdill is completely unrelated to a penguin.

Crowsprite, huh? What system are you from?

[feathery]

Does that mean you're just walking around in a penguin suit. [Devastating loss of cool points.]

I'm from a video game.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

[initforthemoney]

It's a morph. The penguin outfit's my favourite, though.

[A little pause for a moment.]

Anyone ever suggested you talk to a therapist, kid?

[feathery]

Probably. [He doesn't sound too concerned about his probable need for a therapist, though.]

So. If I'm getting this morph-lingo straight here. You're a shapeshifter who sounds like a variety of pickle.

[initforthemoney]

Shapeshifter, yes. Pickle, not so much. But hey, you don't get to pick your own people's name.

[feathery]

I dunno, I just picked mine. Kind of, anyway.

So why a penguin.

[initforthemoney]

Why not penguin? Come on, wouldn't you want to be a penguin if you could? They're classy. They wear tuxedos.

[feathery]

I've always been more of a crow guy, myself. Be kind of limiting to get stuck on a diet of nothing but fish and krill. I don't think I even know what krill is actually, it's just a thing I heard about in a documentary once.