three ○ video / action

[mylegacy]

Who: Caesar & u
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: Iskaulit & waystations!
When: 8/17 - 8/22

I was just hailed by a shuttle on the way from the Tourist to the Iskaulit . . . I understand this has been happening regularly? Do we have any idea who these shuttles belong to? Or are people just racing strangers with no information whatsoever?

[He sounds moderately pressed about this. But an important thing to note about Caesar is that, while he acts mostly responsible most of the time, if you dare him into something hard enough, he will pretty much always do it.]

[When he isn't passive-aggressively complaining on the network, he starts hesitantly exploring the Iskaulit, poking his head into its empty rooms with the (fairly irrational) fear that he'll see one of the bugs around any corner. Eventually he'll get to moving a little bit more slowly, studying the way the ship is built, how it's different from the Tourist and the Marsiva and the other ships he's been on.]

[Later, he makes his way to the nearest waystation, which is, naturally, a huge disappointment. He can be found loudly sighing in pretty much any location on the station, but especially over the clothes, which are all a few sizes too small. And there are no backwards suspenders anywhere.]

Comments

[nextlineis]

[Aw, c'mon, bro. Don't be such a stick in the mud.]

I just want to know why the hell no one thought of this sooner! This is way better than just sitting around in those tin cans doing nothing.

[mylegacy]

[Nope, sorry, this is his role. At least until somebody convinces him to chill the fuck out.]

It would be one thing if it was our shuttles racing each other, but this is ridiculous.

[nextlineis]

I'm getting good practice in and making money. I don't know what's ridiculous about that.

[mylegacy]

They could try to kill you. Also your "practice" is terrifying.

[nextlineis]

They could try, but they'd have to catch me first. I'm getting really damn good at this, Caesarino. You should come with me and see for yourself.

[mylegacy]

You want me. To get in a shuttle. With you.

[are you insane]

[nextlineis]

What's the matter? [He leans a little closer to the communicator, a challenging sort of grin starting to grow on his face.] Scared you might have fun?

[mylegacy]

No. I'm concerned you might crash us into the Marsiva.

[Don't you look at him like that, you motherfucker.]

[nextlineis]

[He legitimately would have no idea what you're talking about. And really, Caesar's resistance is just making it worse.]

Well then we'd find a new part of the ship we weren't allowed on before. But that's not gonna happen. I've won nearly every race since I started. I know exactly how to handle this thing.

Hell, I could probably start winning races with the Caprine herself if my crewmates wouldn't complain so much.

[mylegacy]

[Maybe he's aware of that. Maybe he's doing this a little bit on purpose. Maybe.]

Please don't crash your ship, either. You'd have to sleep in some other ship's kitchen and you'd never stop complaining.

[nextlineis]

What? Are you saying you'd let me have nowhere to sleep? [Joseph, you'd maybe sound more offended if you stopped smiling.] That's cold, Cici.

i literally do not have an icon angry enough for this moment

[mylegacy]

[....... WELL NOW HE'S DEFINITELY NOT LETTING YOU SLEEP ON HIS SHIP.]

Clearly you deserve it. [FREEZING FUCKING COLD.]

u luv it tho, caesar

[nextlineis]

[He snickers that annoying mischievous and very self-satisfied snicker. It's the exact reaction he was fishing for. But he lets up for now. He doesn't want to make Caesar too angry too fast.]

So, are you coming or what?

N O

[mylegacy]

Not if you're planning to call me that again.

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

[nextlineis]

I promise: no more calling you Cici.

[FINGERS ARE CROSSED BEHIND HIS BACK.]

[mylegacy]

[He knows this. He does. And yet.]

Fine, then. If it's that important to you.

[nextlineis]

Excellent! [Now the competitiveness is getting very apparent on his face.] Be ready in five minutes.

[He hangs up and will be by to pick Caesar up. ...Probably before five minutes.]

[mylegacy]

[Joke's on you, motherfucker, Caesar was born ready. . . . By which I mean he spent forty-five minutes getting himself to look this presentably ridiculous, but that was this morning. Now he's waiting in the bay and looks up when Joseph arrives with a bored expression.]

What took you so long?

[nextlineis]

[Joseph ain't bovvered by your bored expression in the least bit, Caesar. If anything, he's looking more smug because the harder you try to act like you don't care, he's pretty sure you do.]

Uh-oh. Are you starting to look forward to it? You know, if you watch me close enough, I'll let you have a turn flying it.

[mylegacy]

No, thank you.

[Very prim and polite. He does not want to be in charge of this mess at all. It's just that he has things to do. Stuff and things.]

I'll mostly be watching you to make sure you don't steer us into any planets we happen to pass.

[nextlineis]

Fuck you. [But he isn't even a little bit mad. He's still smiling and motions for Caesar to follow him back onto the shuttle.] You're gonna feel really stupid when you see how good I am.

action

[birdsbirdsbirds]

[speaking of huge disappointments, someone else is rifling through the clothes on the stations in the hopes that he might find something that vaguely resembles fashion in among the boring usual space bullshit. alas, he will not.

but it's easy to answer the melodramatic sigh without even looking up from a too-large t-shirt:]

I hear you. It's almost impressive how boring these are.

action

[mylegacy]

[Admittedly Caesar's interpretation of fashion is pretty loose, coming as he does from a version of 1930s Italy in which it's socially acceptable to wear feathers in your hair and a bow tie on a string. Still, even for him, this is awful, and he glances up at Robin with an irritated look.]

There must have been a committee whose sole purpose was to make these things as boring as possible.

[He thumbs idly through another few (large, baggy, beige) shirts before giving up entirely.]

The last planet must just have been a lucky break.

action

[birdsbirdsbirds]

[to be fair... his idea of good fashion falls somewhere between "k-pop" and "was it really necessary to attach that much metal to your clothes", but still. the beige really isn't doing it for either of them.

it's his turn to sigh and give up looking.]

For sure. There are good clothes out there, in the universe, but they always seem to run for half my bank account... I would think it's a disservice to our supposed audience.

action

[mylegacy]

[Caesar's not-quite-grandson runs around with a giant chain dangling off his collar, so he'd probably understand. When Robin looks up, Caesar tips his head; he looks vaguely familiar from the network, but not familiar enough to place a name to.]

I never thought about it like that, but you're right . . . I don't understand the appeal anyway, but I understand the appeal of a bunch of people in boring clothes much less.