002 ✪ audio + action

[redactions]

Who: Jim Barnes
Broadcast: Fleetwide audio.
Action: On the moon.
When: Sept. 20th.

Good morning. This is Captain James Barnes. By now we've assessed the damage to the ships — seems like it only slowed us down some, and whoever the enemy was they don't seem to have followed us. That's not why I'm here.

[ a half-beat of pause, then, ]

We can't guarantee there'll always be shields or weapons aboard our ships at any given time. That doesn't mean we can't work out a system to make sure we're covering for each other in a fight. If we can form groups of two or three ships, at least one with weapons, and coordinate a few flying formations, we stand a much better chance.

As for communications, if they're taken offline like that again we are going to need a solution. We used manual signalling in my War; I'm open to options that don't have us scrambling blind during a crisis like that.

[ a beat ]

We got lucky, this time. We might not be again.

Barnes out.




→ shooting range

[ You know. This is simple. The pistols take getting used to, but it's a matter of practice. Assembly. Disassembly. Ready, aim, fire. One end of the shooting range is devoted entirely to Jim trying out all the variants he can get his hands on. They are laid on the table in front of him neatly. ]

[ All the shots hit the centre ring of the target, if not, damned closed. He's not concentrating too hard or scowling, just seems perfectly placid, and steady. When he feels eyes on him, ]

Sorry, did you want [ gesturing to the row of pistols ] one a'these?

→ some seedy bar

[ This alcohol is completely algae-free and that might be the entire reason he's even bothering with it. This place doesn't look quite as ripe for sudden violence either; but there's still murmuring in the background and a card game that looks like it might be heating up. ]

[ He's sitting alone, in the corner, nursing a glass. Another one sits beside him, completely untouched. It's always been for Steve. ]

Comments

[redactions]

[ He stills as though shot. Then, very deliberately, ]

You're the one choosing.

[reconstitution]

[ The wrong answer, then. He backtracks, worrying his lip before offering a nod. ]

..I only meant as a suggestion. Won't happen again.

[redactions]

[ He shakes his head, the misstep was his. ]

No, I mean, there's a lot to choose from — too much, maybe. It helps to have a list and work from the top down.

[ He pulls out a notebook from his pocket, and hands it to Winter. ]

You can use mine if you want.

[reconstitution]

[ Another nod as he takes the notebook in hand. He finds an empty page, diligent in not reading anything Jim has written. His penmanship doesn't flow as neatly or as perfected as Jim's-- his-- used to before the war.

The words are smaller, written in quick strokes of the pen, letters slanting slightly to the right. His list is in Cyrillic, a habit much harder to break. Once he is finished, he scans the list a few times before settling at the top again.

It will do. ]

Thank you.

[redactions]

[ Deliberately, he avoids reading, just nursing the glass of whiskey. Softly, ]

Don't thank me. These are things you're owed. You know?

[reconstitution]

You don't need to pay for things that they did..

[ He closes the book, setting it and the pen down so he can take down the rest of his whiskey. ]

[redactions]

[ He shakes his head again. ]

It's not that. Everyone is owed decency, even if they don't return it, or it hurts you to give it.

[ These are my operating parameters. ]

Especially you.

[reconstitution]

You've been nothing but kind to me.

[ He shrugs, his finger tracing a random pattern against the side of his empty glass. Even if the don't return it, or it hurts you to give..

It makes him wonder if he's doing enough, himself. ]

[redactions]

[ Wearily, ] I'd do the same if you were anyone else.

[ It's the sole defence he has against being called out like this. Kindness shouldn't be open or obvious, but kept safe in the shadows. Especially these days, when it's in short supply, and it's more like a surgical strike than a balm. ]

[reconstitution]

I know. You're better than I am for it.

[ Jim's capacity for being kind to him almost hurts physically. Never feels quite worthy of it. There's someone else who deserves it more than Winter does. ]

[redactions]

[ Some heavy shadow flits across his face. What does he say to that? No, he's a cold thing, a shade. He should be the one wearing the name the Winter Soldier, because that's what he chose to be instead of himself. Bucky hurt to have around. Bucky drowned in the Arctic. ]

[ It's a mercy to forget, and this man has no point of reference. Jim smiles, fleetingly, and looks at the glass next to him. ]

You haven't seen everything.

[ This is not a conversation he wants to have, but he can't give anything less than brutal honesty. It's owed, too. ]

[reconstitution]

[ If only Jim knew just how wrong he was. He wasn't some dark and cold thing with no business being in the light. To Winter, that's just what he was. A light in a hopelessly dark room. He'd be lost without that constant flame that Jim offered.

His guidance, kindness, and company are something he looks forward to, and it's a feeling he can't remember having since he woke up. Even when he wants to be alone, he doesn't mind being around Jim. He feels welcomed.

Of course, that's not all there is to Jim, but there's never quite enough time to explain just what the other is. They're counterparts, but.. Somehow he never feels quite worthy of being in Jim's presence; and he wants to be. ]

I know that..But I don't care.

[redactions]

[ He lets out a bark of laughter, sharp, fleeting. ]

Yeah. You stubborn ass.

[ swirling in the water in the glass, ]

Saw that one coming a mile off. I don't know if I should take a swing at ya for it or appreciate y'ain't going anywhere.

[reconstitution]

[ He raises an eyebrow, watching Jim, and shrugs. ]

You could try to swing at me. [ The suggestion that he couldn't land it heavy in the air. ]

I have nowhere else to go.. Not that I want to.

[redactions]

Little shit.

[ Never mind that he's obviously the taller and heavier one. Jim smiles faintly at him, it's all patchwork. ]

I know. You can stay with me as long as you want to. [ a pause, and he adds, ] I'm not perfect, buddy, but you know I'd do everything in my power to help you, right?

[ You know I'm still good like that, right? ]

[reconstitution]

I learned it from watching you.

[ As always, he considers just what Jim is telling him before forming a solid reply. His gut clenches at the offer and he offers another affirming nod. ]

I don't want to stay with anyone else. Unless I overstay my welcome..

[ He doesn't want to be a burden for Jim, even a small one. He's had enough burdens in his life, he doesn't need his alternate in the way. ]

[redactions]

Or maybe you got it from you.

[ Don't think he hasn't noticed, how the thaw's finding Winter, peeling away the outer layers of him. He doesn't smile more, but he has a dry sense of humor, a little colder than Jim's own, no less twisted and ironic. ]

You won't. [ quietly, ] All we have is each other, right?

[ I won't let you fall. ]

[reconstitution]

[ He doesn't feel any different than before, but he knows something's changed. Having memories- even the very few he has, is a blessing in a long line of curse. Not quite a frame of reference just yet, but it helps. ]

If I do, tell me. [ He nods resolutely, eyes flicking back up to lock with Jim's. If his double ever wanted time apart or him to leave, he would.

Although he hopes that day doesn't come. Winter's gotten comfortable with Jim. ]

[redactions]

You won't.

[ No arguments, bro. ]

[reconstitution]

..Alright.

[ He doesn't believe it for a second, but he nods and gives it up. ]