what's in a wonderball????

[thebarkside]

Who: Wonderducks and pals!
Broadcast: N/A!
Action: On the Wonderduck! IT'S A MINGLE
When: From now until whenever the next mingle is. :')

[ ARE YOU A WONDERDUCK? are you a friend of a wonderduck who might actually be on the wonderduck ship at any point?? then this mingle is for you! top-level and tag around, idgaf as long as it's on the bird ship. ]

Comments

[thebarkside]

[ oh, no. the suspicions are mounting. her brow furrows, eyes locked onto him for a second. ]

Rick?

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick doesn't answer verbally, since he is currently guzzling whatever's in his flask, but he does make the sign of the horns with his free hand.]

[thebarkside]

[ jade's powers aren't always super reliable here. it's the entire reason why she's not able to shrink his flask to the size of a thimble or something equally absurd, despite the fact that she's really trying right now. ]

I thought I told you to transfer!!

[ she also didn't think he'd ACTUALLY end up on the wonderduck... ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick has no idea his precious flask is inches away from danger. Who knows if it would have even made a difference in his attitude, though. (Probably not.)

Burping, he screws the cap back onto his flask and tucks it into his lab coat again. Some alcohol dribbles out of his mouth. He is a wreck.]

Y-yeah, you sure did. But you know what? [He turns around, arms spread up into the air, throwing gang signs.] I do what I want, mothafuckaaaa!

[thebarkside]

[ he's drunk and he's been tinkering with their engines and they're all going to die.

okay.

she is just not going to engage any further. :|||| instead she'll just settle with stepping the rest of the way into the room and heading over to pull the panel open, just so she can stick her head inside and double-check his work. ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick's back is to her because he is busy being psychotic and ostensibly mugging for the cameras, but he realizes she's poking around after a second or so. He whirls around, sharply stammering.] Wh-wh-wh-- don't touch that, you don't know what you're doing. I-i-it's beyond your comprehension.

[thebarkside]

I might not be an engineer, but at least I'm sober. I'm just trying to make sure you haven't sabotaged all the engines or something, jeez, cool your jets.

[ and just because she's obstinate, she's taking her goddamn time. ]

[ricksybusiness]

A-alright, since our pointless assignments really are p-pointless, tell me your job so I can go fuck up your shit.

[He kicks open the neighboring panel, reaches inside, and twists something. The entire engine room starts blaring alarms with flashing lights.] Get out.

[thebarkside]

What did you just - oh my god! I'm the pilot, you jerk, feel free to go fly us into a freaking meteor!

[ she's going to attempt to just teleport him back to his bunk so that she can work on the engine here. it might work! or it might send him to the kitchen, or stick him in the shower, or not even faze him at all. regardless, An Attempt Was Made. ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Being unceremoniously teleported away is not something Rick was expecting.

Girls with dog ears? Sure. Girls with dog ears floating around and materializing through walls and stuff? Whatever. He doesn't care. But when someone takes away his autonomy, he gets mad.

Several minutes pass, and then he busts into the engine room again. He is also dripping. (It was the shower.)]

Who the fuck do you think you are?!

[thebarkside]

[ she slams the panel shut, rocking back onto her heels before she springs to her feet. ]

I was trying to make sure you weren't about to detonate the ship just to be obstinate, and you were being rude.

[ UGH SHE'S SO MAD. ]

But I was trying to put you in your room.

[ricksybusiness]

And you're on my case about fucking up?! [He flings water everywhere angrily, then grabs his flask from inside his lab coat again, gesturing at her with it.]

Word of advice: unless you know what you're doing, don't do it. A-and next time you wanna zap me around, do me a goddamn favor and aim for the kitchen. Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll land me in fucking space.

[thebarkside]

I'm not the one making an effort to be destructive. [ urrgh. ] Look, I don't care what you do, as long as you're not getting everyone on the ship killed. Do you think you can handle that much, grandpa??

[ why is this grandpa here

WHY IS THIS GRANDPA HERE WHEN HERS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick rolls his eyes as she talks, pulling deeply from his flask.]

I'm not going to take orders from you. [He coughs, belching, and screws the cap back onto his flask before putting it back inside his coat.] D-don't take it personally, though I know you're gonna because that's a-- [Burp.] all you people ever do. I just don't give a fuck about you, or this dumb ship, or anyone.

[thebarkside]

Why do you think that I want to give anyone orders? Since when is "please don't blow the ship up and kill everyone" an order? Oh my god, you are the crabbiest old man I've ever met in my life.

[ she steps back, clearly rankled, and folds her arms uncomfortably across her chest. she isn't blind to the flask, at least. ]

Look: what about a trade? And by that I guess I mean a bribe. I just really don't want you wrecking our engines.

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick Sanchez: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO even if that happens to be a request not to kill everyone.]

Yeah, I doubt you have anything I want, but sure. Shoot, Fido.

[thebarkside]

I have money. And I grow plants if I have dirt. Which - [ she adds this part hastily. ] Don't be a smartass, I mean I can do it instantly, like - dirt to grapes in like five seconds. Liquor is expensive in space, and I'm guessing you're gonna wanna buy some or brew your own.

[ i mean, she's assuming that's what he's drinking from the flask. she's not really aware of anything else people drink from flasks. ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick looks a little skeptical when she says grapes, because, what, is he gonna sit around sipping a nice pinot gris?

But it's an interesting proposal. Not that he was really intending on blowing up the engines anyway, but it's not like she knows that. Free supplies just for not doing what he was already not going to do?

Still, he pauses for a second or two like he's mulling it over. Really considering it, here.]

Sugar beets and you got a deal.

[thebarkside]

Okay. [ it is possible that she's never been this exasperated before in her life. but, hey: it really beats being glum as fuck, so she'll take it. ] So what were you - some kind of engineer already before you were brought here? [ she's heading toward the door, at least. jade doesn't want to drag this conversation out much longer, but she's curious. ]

[ricksybusiness]

[That's Rick for you: helps you forget your troubles because you're too busy being pissed at him. He has a purpose.

He looks pleased she's leaving, anyway, and just kind of turns around to look at some engine diagnostic screens.]

I'm a sci[URP]entist. [Among other things!!!]

[thebarkside]

[ oh no... goddammit.... why can't a cool, approachable scientist join the fleet?? rusty venture would totally work, right... ]

That's what I wanted to be. What concentration? [ she's just so curious :( ]

[ricksybusiness]

[Rusty is approachable as long as you don't mind sanctimonious failures, I guess...

Rick just waves his hand in a vague, circular motion over his shoulder, meaning "everything."] In whatever.