driftfleet | 002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

Entry tags:

002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

Who: Souji Seta and ... you???
Broadcast: Network; open
Action: Marsiva; kitchen; open
When: The evening of the 12th.

[Souji turns on the camera, gives it an absent glance, then sets it off to the side before returning his attention to the simmering pot on the stove in front of him.]

Seta here ... I have a question. I'm wondering, is it possible - assuming we eventually return to our assigned ships - to transfer to a different one?

[He taps the stirring spoon on the edge of the pot, then replaces the lid and turns the heat down to just below simmer.]

Also, there's a new pot of stew in the kitchen. Please come by if you're hungry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pain is necessary. Cruelty has a purpose, but becomes ineffective when used indiscriminately.

You are not one anymore. What changed?

[Pain is necessary. It sounds, Souji thinks, like the sort of thing Mason would say, and the part of his brain that remembers living as a demon for thousands of years whispers an acknowledgement of the truth in her statement.]

The Jaunt ended. It was only temporary - a few weeks, I think. There was something we were supposed to do in Melasurei - that was the name of the city. I don't think we did it, though.

[The city was on the brink of war, at the end, and Liminal Space afterwards felt angry, punishing them with unflattering words inked on their skin. GUILTY sat underneath Souji's collar, a proclamation for all to see.]

[ Pain is necessary. Just like sadness and love and joy are all necessary. Just like life and death are inevitable. ]

You were taken somewhere and forced to be something not of your choosing?

[Souji nods.]

That's how the Trumps work. Sometimes you're changed, sometimes you aren't. I was the first time, but I haven't been since. We never know what or where we'll be until we get there.

Yet you are not a demon in your nature, like I am.

[That's the real question though, isn't it: how much of the demon was still Souji; how much common nature did they share. In the Liminal Space right after, with the immediacy of having two sets of memories crammed into his brain, competing for space ... it was hard to say. Being a demon felt real to him, then. Now, with some time and distance from the Jaunt ... it's faded, but not entirely.]

I don't know. [He gives her a rueful smile.] I'd like to think I'm not the kind of person who's capable of doing the things he did, but ... [He shrugs.] I remember hurting people, and I remember liking it. Not a distant memory of things he did in his life - actual things I did, with my own hands. [Which he holds out to her, palms up, remembering sparks of electricity he shot from his fingers to torture Naoto in a bid to get her to give up her power to him, and the girl M kidnapped and glamoured to look like Rise that he nearly killed.]

[ She studies his hands. To her there's never been anything wrong with hurting someone and liking it if they hurt you first, or someone you love. It's acceptable up to a point — no one indulges in sadism. ]

What we like to think and what is true is not the same. Something can become your nature for a short while, but all it leaves are scars. If you are strong.

[Scars. Souji knows something about that. But he's genuinely curious, now.]

Is that a sign of strength?

[With one finger, he points to his face, indicating the slash mark scar across his left cheek.]

I got this when I was the demon. One of my friends from - [not home; Inaba wasn't his home, not really] - where I lived for the past year, before I started Traveling, she was there in Melasurei too. I didn't recognize her, of course.

[He drops his hand from his face and stares down at his interlaced fingers in front of him, frowning as he recounts the rest of the story.]

She has power, and the demon was ... interested in her power. Obsessed, I guess you could say. That's mostly what he thought about - how to get more power, how to manipulate people into giving him power. Taking it by force, if it was necessary. I kidnapped and tortured my friend, trying to convince her to give me her power. But she fought back.

[There are other scars acquired from that Jaunt, too: another cut on his throat, underneath his collar; teeth-shaped marks on his wrist, hidden under his sleeve. Different circumstances and a different person, but still not something Souji thinks of as being signs of strength.]

I don't think I was very strong, then.

[ Nyssa's eyes flick to where he gestures, hanging off his every word. When he's done, she nods. ]

You survived. It is proof of your strength. Under different circumstances you may have succumbed to the wounds or lost yourself to this other creature. Perhaps freedom was not fully of your own doing, but it does not change the fact.

[What she says - it's honestly the first time it's occurred to Souji to think of it in these terms. He'd only ever seen those scars as marks of shame before, tangible reminders of the wrongdoings he'd committed. It never once crossed his mind to think that he'd survived the ordeal, and the scars were proof of his tenacity.]

You're right. Thank you.

[ The returning expression is an of course I'm right, and fades to a smile. ]

Perhaps that is my payment for this stew.

If you'd like.

[ She polishes it off, and, ]

Gochisousama deshita.

Doumo arigatou gozaimashita.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action; cw scars

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;