Nightal 1 1369 dr- Feast of the Moon

[child_of_bhaal]

Who: Syeira and Open!!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Red Fish, if you want. Or she can go other places. I'm flexible.
When: From the night of 11/30 through all day 12/1.

[Syeira hasn't broadcast anything since her first day. That was a long time ago. She almost doesn't remember how, so it takes her a moment of fussing around with her device before realizes it's actually working. She's in the cargo area of the Red Fish, sitting on the floor against a wall. Her knees are pulled up, and the device is resting on them so she doesn't have to hold it. She's wearing her Nymph cloak, so she looks a little shinier, and seems a bit more compelling at the moment. She's not wearing it to command attention, just feels the need to be wrapped up in something familiar.]

So I realized tonight that I've been with the Fleet for exactly seven months. I'm still so unused to this thing...

[What an awkward way to start.

She sighs, leans her head back and just...talks.]

Today is a holy day in Faerun. The Feast of the Moon. It's the start of winter. On this day, people do a lot of things. One of them is recounting stories of heroic slayings.

[Yes, slayings. Not deeds. Slayings. Murders.

She fidgets with a strand of her hair.]

Since I've been here, I've hardly killed anything. It's surreal.

I hate this day. I don't want to hear stories of death and murders. Don't we all have enough of those? Does anyone have a nice story? I'd really like to hear them.

Please.

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[unconfines]

That's your holiday? That's depressing, isn't it.

[A beat. He considers.]

Though we hardly have it any better with our holidays, I suppose, what with all the betrayal and murder and everything. The religious ones, anyhow.

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[child_of_bhaal]

There's better ones. This one just bothers me a lot.

[Because of her father. Because of all the people she's killed in only two years.

It's a bad holiday.]

Your religion doesn't have specific death gods, does it? It's just supposed to be the one?

[unconfines]

[Confirming:]

Just the one. Though technically that makes Him a death god just as much as an anything-else god, doesn't it? 'Course, they don't call Him that. "Maker" has a much nicer ring to it.

[child_of_bhaal]

Ao is the one god that made all the others. At least that we know of. I think it was more convenience than anything. It's hard listening to every prayer and finding time to answer.

[unconfines]

Ah, well, that's where the Maker has gotten it right, you see. He doesn't answer any of them. Whether He listens, well, that's hard to tell, isn't it?

[He says it lightly, like a joke, but he doesn't sound bitter about this. Actually and legitimately. One (1) undercover Andrastian, right here.]

[child_of_bhaal]

The gods of Toril don't really have a choice. They can die if people don't worship them. So it's basically a competition for followers. "Worship me and I'll give you stuff."

[unconfines]

Well! That's one way to do it. Do I want to know what your death gods use as bribery? "Worship me and I'll kill you next week instead"?

[child_of_bhaal]

Mostly power, wealth. The opportunity to kill someone special. You know, the classics.

[unconfines]

[He hums, leaning his chin on one hand.]

Well, that's not terribly imaginative. I don't see why more people don't pick one of the others just on principle, really.

[child_of_bhaal]

Some professions did well worshipping Bhaal. Assassins and mercenaries mostly. And then there were people who wanted to move up politically, or wanted to inherit. You pray to the god of murder and you might just get away with it.

And don't forget the crazy people who just like to kill. Saying it's part of your religious practices is a convenient excuse.

[unconfines]

Right, of course, the usual, but it's just so predictable. Is it too much to ask for a creative unhinged murderer?

[beat]

On second thought, I take that back. Some things we're better off doing without, I think.

[child_of_bhaal]

Oh, I think it's too late for that. I once tracked down a murdered that targeted the beggar population in Amn. He was trying to become a skinwalker. And he made armor on the side with the scraps.

I'd say that's a pretty out of the box reason to become a murderer.

[unconfines]

Eugh.

[He could probably come up with something similarly horrifying. The darkspawn by themselves have enough horror stories to fill many a spooky night 'round a campfire, to say nothing of the horrors committed by men. But now doesn't seem like a good time for warring serial murder stories.]

I think there was some mention of not humoring the spirit of the holiday. Perhaps a different sort of story. Maybe one with kittens!

[child_of_bhaal]

I don't really have stories that don't humor the holiday.

[Because of very direct reasons.]

The only one I have about cats is.... definitely not helpful. [Thoughtful.] I do know a few anecdotes about a miniature giant space hamster, though.

[unconfines]

A miniature giant? Does that just make him a medium-sized space hamster, then? Come on, out with it, the world needs to know, now.

[He smiles at her. He's not good at much, but he's a master at being distracting.]

Failing that, my cat did her level best to hurl herself into the toilet again today. I could always tell that story.

[child_of_bhaal]

You know, I have no idea. I'd say I'll ask and get back to you, but I think that would be rather impossible considering the circumstances that would have to occur. What I can tell you is that Boo is about so big.

[She holds her hands up about the normal distance from each other that a regular hamster might occupy, if she were holding one.]

And that he is apparently going a little fat, last I saw him.

[unconfines]

I knew it! Sounds to me like there's a conspiracy afoot. Regardless, let's have one of these anecdotes. Besides the ones where he's gotten a little too fond of... of... [his momentum falters, leaving him halfway through his joke without a punchline to speak of] What do hamsters eat, anyway?

[child_of_bhaal]

Oats, grain, nuts, root vegetables. I once saw him shove a piece of carrot this big [She holds up her fingers to show the size of maybe a quarter.] into his mouth. I swear I thought he'd choke, but it just puffed out his little cheeks!

Oh but you don't want a food story. And we're avoiding stories of another certain type. Hmm.

[Think about that for a moment, Anders.]

Well this one time he was abducted by a girl who thought he was some kind of magical water rat. She made us answer really ridiculous riddles to get him back. Got very huffy when they were too easy for us. But then we had to explain that Boo was not magical, nor a water rat. Apparently, that was a very important aspect for him to be, water residing in particular. But we pointed out that he only likes water to drink and really hates bathing in the stuff.

[unconfines]

[What sort of havoc to you wreak with this medium-sized space hamster, girl. He wants to know but doesn't ask, leans exaggeratedly on his hand while she tells her story instead.]

Is that— is that a thing, where you're from? Water rats, whether or not they're the magical kind? And does it matter what kind of water they like to bathe in? Because if we're counting "sewers," I've met a whole slew of water rats in my day, magical or not.

[child_of_bhaal]

[She wreaks tons of havok. Just in general. Ask her sometime, Anders.]

I couldn't tell you. Minsc would know. He's a ranger. I am just a lowly bard. My random knowledge tends towards spells, armor, weapons, magical items, and their colorful histories.

The important thing is that she believed they were most certainly a thing.

[unconfines]

Yes, but she could have been spending too much time down in the sewers, if you catch my meaning. Who knows what sort of things she could have been saying to your poor hamster! Could have given him an identity crisis, or worse.

[What is worse in this particular scenario? He might not really be sure, either.]

Maybe if she spent more time looking for her own water rats instead of thinking up riddles mixups like this wouldn't happen.