fifteenth ♠ text

[save_the_souls]

Who: Allen Walker
Broadcast: Text, ANONYMOUS
Action: None
When: Today.

[Allen finally bothered to look at the media files Atroma had left behind. He barely has his own on for ten seconds before he slams the stop button. He knows exactly what song that is, and this is the last week he wants to hear it. It pisses him off just hearing that tune.]

[Shortly after, there's a text message on the network. He's made sure to make it anonymous, since not in the mood to deal with shit today]

Does anyone know how the hell to delete the media file Atroma gave us?

Comments

[save_the_souls]

[ It's people like you Han that made him go anon ]

It's not important!

[falconing]

[ that is

entirely fair to be honest ]

How do we know whether or not it's important? You could be deleting state secrets. Intergalactic conspiracies. Trust funds that could be used for expanding my ship. Embarrassing baby pictures that make people laugh.

Be a team player.

[ this is literally what happens when luke skywalker isn't around to go han turn the comm off ]

[save_the_souls]

[He stares for a moment. Oh dear god this guy is giving him flashbacks to House. ]

It's nothing that important! [ Okay so it actually is, but there isn't anyone in this fleet that could understand it besides himself. ]

[But like hell is he going to actually share this with this troll. So he does the next best thing. Lie and throw a red herring-]

It's just a stupid book. That's all.

[falconing]

Do you know how many stupid books exist in the galaxy?

[ most of them begin with 'LEGAL CODE #' ]

[save_the_souls]

Yes I'm aware!

But this is really. It's a stupid...profane book that someone I knew wrote. It really deserves to be deleted before people from other worlds are exposed to it.

[falconing]

[ ... oh.

well, if this person is telling the truth (and han usually assumes people are not telling the truth, because how often does he tell the truth), that's just boring. kind of funny. a passable story, without too many details. could easily be fact checked, but could also have easily been stumbled across as a backup excuse for whatever this person really wants to delete.

overall, a 50/50 shot of a lie.

not that han is really invested in whatever the hell this person wants to delete, but this is a lot more interesting than wandering around hoth 2.0 and having tauntaun flashbacks. ]

What, does it offend your delicate sensibilities? And you're assuming an awful lot -- who's to say other worlds haven't seen worse? I'm sure they can take it.

[ han has almost certainly seen worse

that being said he's good bro you can keep that for urself ]

[save_the_souls]

[Oh it's 100% a lie. That said, it's a lie he's going to hold onto]

Alright, sure. If you insist you're so sure you can take it- have a look and tell me if you really think this is good on the network.

[And with that he's linking Icha Icha Paradise.pdf]

[falconing]

[ there's a silence as han (naturally) opens said document, and he spends a good five minutes being torn between incredulity and exasperation at the terrible dialogue and then -- wow that escalated quickly. ]

Seen worse.

I think the network will survive just fine, kid.

[save_the_souls]

[oh god no, he didn't. He knows he's supposed to be anon but-]

- I'm not a kid!

[falconing]

[ oh my god why are there SO MANY OF YOU ahsoka did the same damn thing ]

Yeah?

Prove it.

Kid.

[save_the_souls]

[Maybe it's because you keep calling everyone kid!!]

How am I supposed to prove it?!

[falconing]

Little oversensitive, aren't we? Calm down, don't burst a blood vessel.

Tip: The freaking out over being called 'kid' isn't helping your case.

[save_the_souls]

I am calm.

[he even resisted the urge to use an exclamation point to emphasize his calmness!!]

[falconing]

Sure you are.

What am I going to call you, then? Give me ideas.

[save_the_souls]

And give away my identity? I'm not falling for that trick!

[falconing]

Don't worry, I'll narrow it down eventually.

Can't hide forever.

Figure out how to delete your stuff yet, kid?

[save_the_souls]

You got to be kidding. Surely you have better things to do with your time.

Not yet.

[falconing]

Free as a bird. I've got nothing but time.

Tough luck.

[save_the_souls]

Then go knit a scarf!

[falconing]

Do they teach that priceless skill in daycare?

[save_the_souls]

Day-what?

[falconing]

Joke's lost when you have to explain it.

It was an insult.

Be indignant or something, it'll have the same effect.

[save_the_souls]

...You can't just tell someone to be indignant because your insult didn't work. That's lazy.

[falconing]

It's not my fault you don't know what a daycare is.

[save_the_souls]

And it's not my fault you're not very good at insults. (￣︶￣;)