driftfleet | these are the days, it never rains but it pours...

[ hello this is your certifiable hot mess of a ~~backup~~ pilot speaking and he is most likely found at his station, casually ignoring everybody. he might be reading, or he might be tinkering with things, and he might even be taking apart said console.

he may also be wandering around the huntress in an attempt to find out where the hell koala put his shit when she was cleaning.

smol child why. ]

[ He passes by, his arms folded under his cloak. ]

You seem to be in a mood.

I'm great.

{ he isn't. obviously. luke and leia aren't on the same ship, and that alone makes han irritated. he told leia he'd go visit her later, but he wanted to give himself an hour or two to calm down and figured out what he wanted to say. ]

[ Dryly. ] Yes, and I'm a purple Rancor.

What happened, Captain Solo?

{ han knows by this point that there's no point in lying about how you're feeling to a jedi. luke does this shit to him constantly. but what is he going to say?

leia can't leave her ship. there's a weird slave girl on this ship. i want to stab our captain in the face.

eventually, he settles on something that sort of sums up all of those things. ]

I want my own ship back.

[ he will never stop being salty ]

And I had a bad day. Satisfied?

[ Those thoughts ring out, clear as day. ]

I see Koala is making waves with her arrival. And you didn't take it too well.

[ aaargggghhh ]

Slavery doesn't put a bad taste in your mouth?

[ a little shrewdly. han knows that it does. but obi-wan is the one poking at him, so now he has to deal with han being a prick about it. ]

[ He smiles because at this point, who in Star Wars hasn't had a brief stint as a slave. Really. ]

I assure you, it has many personal tastes to me. But if we push too hard, it might end up backfiring on us. She has a very deep conditioning.

[ true it is an unfortunate malady that ails most of the cast.

han knows what obi-wan is saying is true, and it frustrates him, because there's really nothing to be done about it. and so he rests his head back against his chair, frowning to himself. ]

She's just a kid.

[ han is a criminal by trade and has fleeced half the galaxy out of their life savings, but not with children involved. he's tried not to harm innocent people, or get innocents involved. ]

And I'm not taking orders from someone who thinks it's alright to give a traumatized kid a to-do list of stuff to do each day, like she's a pet.

[ which is really what he's salty over.

that and he's not a fucking backup pilot. ]

He gave her some orders such as taking naps and whatnot, so that she wouldn't panic. Which she did when some of us pushed her too hard. Greed doesn't want a pet or a slave out of her.

[ He looks away. ] Because she is a child, this must be done gently. I've already spoken to Greed. The slow process will have to be the healer.

That's not the first list he gave her.

[ in irritation, and he tilts back his chair. full on han solo pouting mode. ]

And just 'cause it has to be slow doesn't mean I have to like it, or be happy about it.

I do not think he'll do wrong by her. And if he does, I will intervene.

[ It's that simple, even if the situation is not. Besides, he doubts Greed will ill-treat Koala, by any means. His fanatical need to own everything would not allow it. ]

You do, however, need to bear it when the child comes around. If the adults cannot handle her reality, how do you expect her to?

You know, weirdly, I'm a good liar.

[ to those who can't sense his feelings, anyway. and his tone is slightly curt -- he's not (and hasn't, really) freaked out on the kid. on greed, sure, and he vented to leia, and he's irritated now, but not around the kid. that's not fair to her.

he's quiet for a moment before continuing. ]

I was one of the only people Jabba paid; I can handle her reality.

[ to her face, anyway. privately, or around people he trusts, he can find it as disgusting as he likes. ]

[ He nods. Though "good liar" is not the words he'd use, he understand the need to frame them in that manner. As for lies . . . well, there's plenty Obi-Wan has not (and will not) ever say.

"Jedi make everything worse."

He simply smiles, benign ]

I believe you.

No, you don't.

[ mildly, and han places whatever part he was messing with on the console behind him, straightening up slightly.

and, because han has had it up to here with talking about his own feelings: ]

How's your apprentice doing with his kids?

[ spoiler: han does not give one iota of a shit about anakin's feelings on his kids, but he is a little curious as to how obi-wan feels about it. ]

[ He lets that slide.]

It is not for me to say.

[ What Anakin has confessed to him should remain with him. To reveal anything would be a gross abuse of trust. ]

It is against our Code, to have children. Families. There is a lot he needs to come to terms with.

Sounds like an outdated Code.

[ mildly, but han honestly doesn't sound too combative. and he hadn't been expecting much, out of obi-wan, but it's interesting to know anakin is weighing it against the jedi code.

he really is before the fall, after all. ]

What's the big deal if he does? Does he get kicked out if your Order or whatever finds out?

[ He almost opens his mouth to protest, before he shakes himself out of it. ]

That would be the end result. The Council would deliberate on it . . . but I don't see them changing that decision.

[ han doesn't say anything, though he sinks a bit more into his chair to think.

someone faced down with getting everything he's ever worked for stripped away because he fell in love with someone and had a family would probably hold a bitter sword for the organization who did it.

han still hasn't managed to work up an ounce of forgiveness for anakin, but darth vader is starting to make a bit more sense. ]

... what's the point of defending the galaxy if you don't have anything to fight for?

[ or die for. or stand for. no attachments. that's just fundamentally stupid. ]

[ He raises an eyebrow at that. That was a familiar sentiment, but right now, he finds that it rankles. ]

Are you saying because I don't have any blood relations of any kind, I don't have anything to fight for? To die for?

Or are you saying that the Jedi have no love in their hearts because we choose not to possess? Choose not to subject others to a life that can be quickly lost?

[ He looks him straight in the eye. ]

Do you defend the galaxy because every life in it is precious and deserving or simply because there are people in your life who choose to fight for it?

[ ordinarily, han would get indignant at the argument, but the question just gets a slight grin out of him. finally, a human conversation. (and, honestly, it's comforting to know obi-wan can be outwardly annoyed. even a little.)

so he shrugs, but stares back. ]

Do you really want the honest answer?

[ 'cause he'll give it. ]

There's no need. You're practically transparent.

[ He crosses his arms, letting the anger flow out of him. It helps . . . a little. People don't know the Jedi, he tells himself. They don't know. ]

Any loss of life is as great as a personal one.

[ this is precisely why luke is his favorite jedi, because luke is the worst jedi, and tosses all of this nonsense out of the window. sir.

but han respects obi-wan enough to answer his question seriously, even if obi-wan apparently already knows his answer. and he has no real shame in his answer, because luke and leia probably already know, so -- ]

If I hadn't met you and Luke on Tatooine, and if I hadn't met Leia, I wouldn't have joined 'Team Save The Galaxy'. Over my dead criminal body. I wasn't about to play hero.

[ he had wanted to leave -- he had to leave, even after the death star had been destroyed. but he had only come back for luke. and he had only stayed for leia. it really wasn't until after cloud city, after darth vader had tortured him, after lando had betrayed darth vader's deal in order to save leia and chewie and luke, that han had decided the empire was enough. but even then, that decision had been selfish, and he had only given up his own life because he had found something much better.

but something is bothering at him. ]

How much of the future have you figured out?

[ that way, han can be much more honest. ]

[ He really does not want to have this conversation. Having already heard of the fate of the Jedi and everything else, he's barely had enough time to process it, much less repeat what he has heard to someone else.

He feels . . . tired. There's a weariness that cuts to the bone. ]

I was informed of what happened after the Clone Wars. The rest is conjecture.

[ probably hera's fault. ah well. she doesn't know any better. ]

... I joined up with the rebellion to save Luke's skin, and Leia...

[ well, that's complicated, and han considers that for a moment before just MOVING ON ]

-- I got captured by the Empire on a mission, with Leia -- and I wasn't treated too nicely. They didn't hurt her, but they put me through the ringer. Put a bad taste in my mouth about how they treat their citizens. I became a leading pilot in the resistance, and we just finished winning the war, before I got dragged here. Emperor's dead.

[ he pauses. ]

I didn't join up to fight or defend the galaxy to be a hero or protect the Force, I did it because I have people that I care about, that I want to protect. And if Anakin...

[ god this is literally like pulling teeth ]

-- if he found something worth defending, outside of some vague code, then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to just let him have it.

[ maybe the future would be better that way. ]

ota.

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