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Who: Uchiha Sasuke
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: Marsiva
When: This very moment.

(broadcast)

[ Sure there are bound to be the occasional less-than-thrilling broadcasts but this one may be a new low, with the camera focused in on a nondescript blob that turns out -- with some acquired distance -- to be a knee. The feed shakes then and there's the loud metallic tap tap of the device being knocked against the framework of one of the generic cots aboard the Marsiva. Tap. Tap. Tap. The only other sound is that of the painfully bland music in the background, without a word being spoken.

At least this inept user finally turns the communicator around to inspect it at another angle, granting any viewer a flash of dark and impractically spiked hair before the camera then focuses on equally shadowed eyes and a severe expression.

No, he's not going to panic. He probably already did that internally before he even tried to figure out the communicator ~~less than successfully~~. Send aid. ]

(action)

[ Sasuke will be easy to encounter either sitting on that cot and fiddling with his communicator, exploring the bay thoroughly, or staring with incredible and difficult-to-read intensity out into the murky void of space. Godspeed. ]

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[ Why am I being called a moron this time. Sasuke angles the camera now after tugging at his collar, showing unmarked pale skin. ]

... then he arrived before he faced Itachi, possibly before he left Orochimaru.

[ zuko opens his mouth to say he definitely didn't face itachi, but he closes it at the lack of mark. he almost wants to ask how that happened -- zuko knows an overview, but not (obviously) every single specific detail of sasuke's life.

also, speaking about itachi, even with sasuke who knew zuko backwards and forwards, and who trusted him with nearly everything, was difficult, and generally avoided. this version, who had actually physically lived through... well. ]

... I don't think he had left Orochimaru, no. But I'm not sure.

[ should he say something about itachi? probably not. but he can't just deliberately ignore it, either. that's probably worse. is it worse??

fuck it. ]

He definitely hadn't faced Itachi yet.

[ zuko had been forced into many awkward uchiha brother conversations in adstringendum, okay. itachi was kind of a dick. ]

[ There's no one who has ever existed or will ever exist that is more important to Sasuke than Uchiha Itachi, the man he'd hated more than anyone he's ever known and the man he still loves in equal measure. The person that had psychologically tortured him and broken his bones, nearly burned him alive, slaughtered their family, and helped teach him to read and write.

Who always made time until he had none. Who always said 'next time, Sasuke' until he finally admitted 'this is the last time'. 'Forgive me'. As if that isn't the hardest thing he could ever ask Sasuke to do.

The person that Sasuke had finally killed only to see him brought back in a war before he was ripped from his side yet again. The person who'd admitted to devising a plan to brainwash Sasuke permanently if he threatened Konoha. Just before telling him he loved him. ]

... I understand. You know about both of them as well? [ Orochimaru and Itachi. ]

[ there is no right answer here, and zuko feels uncomfortable lying about it. he doesn't think this information should be lorded over sasuke, but he also doesn't think he should hide it, either.

zuko has never met orochimaru. which was probably a good thing. but he has met itachi, and most of sasuke's family. should he tell him about itachi? sasuke had already flatly refused to wish to meet people again who were supposed to be dead. but -- ]

I never met Orochimaru.

[ but zuko leaves itachi out. ]

I know what happened with both.

[ Translating between what Zuko says and what Zuko means isn't too difficult for him, even after such a short time of knowing him. He met Itachi, presumably in Adstringendum, and he's dancing around that issue because he believes speaking about it directly will trigger some kind of strong response in Sasuke. Is that courtesy or just avoidance? ]

So then you know I killed both of them. [ Those words just slice right through any layer of tact and decency, emotionless. ] Well... I suppose that credit isn't entirely mine. Both were ill, and I absorbed Orochimaru more than I ended his existence. I resurrected him again when it was convenient for me.

If I can't speak about them then I'm letting myself remain trapped in my own past. You must feel the same way. [ Not that it isn't still an extremely raw subject, but he already had to listen to Danzou telling him how he'd wasted his family's lives just after Itachi died. It can't get much worse than that had been. ]

[ there's a silence -- presumptuous, really, to say that zuko must feel the same way, but it's true. silence only breeds anger, and zuko has been trying his best to rid himself of that lately.

it's more sasuke's choice of words than anything else that bothers zuko (when it was convenient for me, that credit isn't entirely mine), dedicated to making sasuke look like a monster. but sasuke doesn't know zuko yet, and zuko isn't about to force inspiration and comfort down his throat.

so when sasuke is done, zuko speaks. ]

I didn't have to kill anyone, but I would have, if I had to.

[ in the end, everyone had managed to be saved. aang had spared ozai, but taken away his firebending. zuko had saved azula -- or, well. spared her. no one can really save azula now. ]

. . . I know you don't want it to happen, and you think it shouldn't happen, but you need to know that both of them could show up here. You don't have much choice in the matter, and it's going to be difficult.

[ zuko pauses, and then proceeds. not sparing sasuke's feelings, but also not being as blunt as he could be. ]

I won't bring them up unless you want me to talk about them.

[ 'I didn't have to kill anyone'. Were this the Sasuke of even just a few months ago, rotted with bitterness that he still carries now but in lesser amounts, he'd be tempted to lash out. To tell Zuko his understanding of the situation is then lacking, but that's judging him for his past when he's not judging Sasuke's. And what a goddamn rarity that is. He's far too accustomed to people trying to change him, but so far there haven't been any subtle hints of that.

In time, maybe. ]

I know. [ ... ] I can handle it.

That, and you speaking about them. I won't tell you that my reactions will always be completely calm, but I won't lose control. All of this is just one more test of my resolve.

You shouldn't force yourself to talk about something like that just to test your resolve.

[ pot, meet kettle. ]

But if you're sure, then I'll follow your lead.

I should. [ On the other hand. ]

If I can't manage that then I haven't changed as much as I say I have. My family's role in the village's history shouldn't be covered up, least of all by me. I can't afford to remain... childish. [ He's being unbelievably hard on himself but that's always been his way. Of course what happened will continue to bother him, but justifying his feelings too much leads him down a dark enough path as it is.

He needs an actual therapist. ]

[ from personal experience zuko knows that sasuke Cannot Handle uchiha itachi, but. you know. whatever.

he's not gonna argue with the guy. ]

It's not childish.

[ self-destructive, maybe, but not childish. ]

But if that's what you want, then that's your decision.

It's what I need.

[ If he's going to devote his life to a village that ordered his brother to murder his family in secret, anyway. If he doesn't force himself to see his family's wrongs and Konoha's rights then he'll go ~~more~~ insane. That includes actually talking and thinking about his family critically. ]

Don't you have things you feel the same way about?

Of course I do.

[ quietly ]

But forcing myself to talk about something that I'm not ready for doesn't... it hasn't ended well, for me.

[ in very. um.

loud ways. ]

Drawing poison from a wound is normally like that.

[ Dramatic, maybe, but Sasuke would honestly rather get bitten by a venomous snake than talk about the last time he saw his brother. ]

You'll never magically be 'ready'.

Probably not.

[ but zuko can hope, anyway. even if he knows it's logically not true. but forcing himself into talking about these things, constantly, is just a bad idea. too many memories, too much damage to deal with in a short span of time.

which is obviously why he's going to spend the week doing exactly that. :) ]

Most of my friends already know, anyway, so there's little to talk about.

[ 'Most of my friends already know'. It makes it sound as if he thinks the only cause to talk about his family is as the prelude to a warning.

Again, Sasuke feels that irritating pang of understanding. It's extremely unusual for him to have to experience it so often. ]

I doubt that there's nothing, but if you have the luxury of pacing yourself then you should.

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