driftfleet | /takes the huntress out back and buries it (jan mingle pt. II)

Entry tags:

/takes the huntress out back and buries it (jan mingle pt. II)

Who: Anyone on the SS Huntress! Crew and visitors.
Broadcast: N/A
Action: SS Huntress
When: More of January! We got three new crew mates and it will be messy.

IT'S ANOTHER MINGLE FOR OUR EVER-EXPANDING SHIP.

Also, we need an update on how well Koala is doing at pinball.

~~God, help this ship.~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It does. I find I'm less angry and upset if I let go of my feelings.

...Is meditating something that I can do too?

[ Because she sure has been feeling depressed lately. ]

Of course, if you'd like to. It's certainly not an activity limited to myself.

[ Though this is one of those rare times someone actually wants to try it. ]

[ She drops her arms to her sides, giving them a nervous sway. ]

Um... okay. Can you show me how?

Of course. But let's not do it here.

[ Glances at the kitchen. ]

This might not be the best place for it. If you would follow me?

Yes, sir.

[ Lead the way, Obi-Wan. ]

[ He takes her to a small observation deck, close to the pilot's navigation center. Obi-Wan locates a small area for them to sit down.

First he takes position and then gestures for her to sit down as well. ]

[ She glances around awkwardly for a moment, then nods, sitting down. ]

Now what?

[ He smiles briefly at her confusion. Then he closes his eyes, explaining softly. ]

Now . . . we close our eyes. Inhale gently. Feel yourself in the universe. You are unique. Important. Your feelings are important.

But when you hold onto them too long, they hurt. Cause suffering. Remember your feelings and where they came from. And let them go.

[ It sounds all strange to her, but she's going to try. She shuts her eyes, inhaling. She's quiet for a moment, but starts to scrunch up her face in concentration. With the feelings she has, her thoughts bring her back to Cullen, a man from another world who wound up becoming her adoptive father. His departure from the fleet still feels recent, fresh in her mind.

Holding onto her feelings too long might be what she just did. She's opening her eyes again, starting to feel a little misty-eyed. ]

I-... I don't think I can do this.

[ He doesn't open his eyes. She might not appreciate him looking at her in her moment of weakness. ]

Talk about him. Talk about the things you loved. The things that upset you. Let it flow through you.

I-...

[ Elize grips her hands on her lap. Where should she start? There were so many rough times and happy times in those past several months that she spent with Cullen. ]

I loved when he told me stories about his world. About Thedas, about Skyhold. When he played games with me and when he kissed me on the forehead or the cheek. He was usually the one that would wake me up to eat. I loved it when he gave me piggyback rides to the kitchen, that same kitchen we were in awhile ago.

[ She contorts her face a bit, thinking of any bad memories came into mind. She was especially upset when they first found the Iskaulit. It was an infested ship at the time. He wasn't happy with her being in potential danger, but she's capable of fighting back too. ]

...I hated it when he told dumb jokes. And sometimes he was overprotective. Sometimes there were things he wouldn't tell me about. I didn't like that either... but I know it was because he was worried and scared. I know he loved me. I was happy to finally have someone to call my father.

[ She could go on more, but she stops to start rubbing tears out of her eyes. ]

He lives on in you. Every memory, every thought gives him life even when he is not around. And I'm sure he would prefer it if you were happy in his stead.

[ He opens his eyes a little. ]

He is still your father.

Edited 2016-02-03 08:32 (UTC)

[ Cullen is still her father. They're from different worlds and blood, but he's still family. ]

He always comforted me, even on the day we first met... when I first arrived here. I know Daddy would want me to be happy.

[ He was there from the very beginning. Now he's gone, but living on as a memory. She lowers her head, her cheeks now glazed with tears. ]

It's... hard.

Yes.

[ That is a fact. It has always been hard. Qui-Gon was a father, was more. To define it would be absurd (uncalled for. Not the way of the Jedi) ]

You must give yourself the chance to feel it. And to let it go. Because he dwells always within you.

I'm- I'm sorry.

[ She's not sure why she's apologizing, maybe because she feels she's unable to fully let go. Not yet.

She sighs then bites down her bottom lip, keeping her head lowered. ]

I think I need a little more time...

[ Gently. ]

Of course. I'm sorry I could not help you.

[ She shakes her head, reaching up to rub her eyes again. ]

...I think I feel a little better though, being able to talk about Daddy.

Well, I'm glad.

[ It can't be easy. He's seen many children without parents lately. Briefly, he wonders how Numa on Ryloth was faring. ]

You're very strong.

[ She has been with the fleet for a long while. Months ago, she had trouble thinking herself as strong, having cried a lot and often feeling scared. Yet many people have been praising her for her strength. Now him too. She has to believe in it.

She looks up, bashful. Despite her tears, she musters up the confidence to answer without any doubt in her voice. ]

I'm doing my best.

I know.

[ He doesn't comment on her tears - it would be rude after all. ]

There's no shame in being upset, you know.

[ She nods slowly. Yet she acknowledges her own tears. ]

...Strong, brave people cry too sometimes. A friend told me that.

That's always been my understanding of it.

[ Obi-Wan, however, hasn't cried in years. ]

[ Though she feels she could be stronger and braver. Cry less, without needing Cullen all the time to coax a smile out of her. ]

I wonder if he'd be proud of me.

I think you know the answer, deep down.

[ This father seemed to make his feelings clear on the subject. ]

(no subject)

princessia - 2016-02-17 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

beardstrokes - 2016-02-17 08:27 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only