video;

[scrubscrub]

Who: Koala and you.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: N/A unless you want to do ship stuff idk.
When: Today!! Or something.

[Hello everyone it's your fave weird smiling 11-year-old.]

I... just wanted to say — I did it, Mr. Greed! I finally got Top 10 in pinball, sir, just like you requested! [It's true, thanks to Han she's completely overtaken the scoreboards; hallelujah.] I, um, got all top 10 spots, too! Just in case you wanted me to have all ten... I'm sorry, my memory's a little fuzzy... I'm very sorry! But I did it. I'm glad I can finally move on to my next chore on my to-do list... I keep hearing these distant pinball machine noises in my head, b-but then I realize I'm just tired.

I didn't know games would be so hard! It was very frustrating... I almost frowned through it...

[She chucks very faintly, smiling wide.]

It's too bad that we're no longer near a planet. I-I think my crew would be very happy to have more games on board, like pinball. Or maybe better smelling clothing detergent. I like the kind that smells like flowers. I'll remember for the next place we stop by!

[AH, RIGHT. ANYWAY.]

Actually, I was... going to come on here for a request. If that's okay.

Ah. Well.

....

We need a new blender on the Huntress.

...

A-and if anyone has any spare table cloths, we could trade for those as well. There are large holes in the table currently.

...

And if anyone has something to help remove scorch marks...

[This ship is a f$%*ing mess.]

Comments

[scrubscrub]

...

Can you replicate blenders, sir?!

[theshabbiestofmen]

[Oh my god the fucking blenders are you shitting me]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Ah, I'm afraid not. [GOD he's good at keeping his face neutral.] I could, in theory, try, but I don't know blenders well enough to get the details right-- and something complicated like that would revert back to whatever it was before.

[scrubscrub]

Ah...

[And here she told Sasuke she may have a solution. He's going to be upset with her, isn't he? She has to remind herself lightly that they won't be extremely mad about her not accomplishing her theoretical solutions.]

That's okay, then. I'm sorry for bothering you.

...

I do like octopi, though. and... Well... I've seen dogs and cats before! I couldn't touch them, but they were very cute. And birds are very beautiful... Even the seagulls.

[theshabbiestofmen]

My friend can turn into a dog. If he ever comes here, you ought to tell him that, he'd be delighted to treat you to Padfoot.

[He smiles.]

That being said: I can make illusions, and birds and cats and dogs and even octopi are within my abilities. If you'd like, I could come by and show you-- or you could come here?

[scrubscrub]

[Oh. OH, someone is offering to show her magic!

That's fantastic! And scary! And interesting. She fidgets with what she's wearing today; just a general ol' jumpsuit for when her dress isn't clean.]

I don't really know how to get between ships, really... I've never actually left, except once with Mr. Greed.

But that would be nice! I'd like to visit.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I'm on the Paisley. And you can use the transporter-- just tell it where you'd like to go, and I'll be waiting.

[scrubscrub]

[WE HAVE A WHAT. Oh, what a world! She's eager when she nods.]

Yessir! I won't waste a moment's time. I'll make sure that my crew doesn't need anything from me first, though. It has been a while since I made sure the dishes were done.

[................. dude seriously hide your cleaning supply shit because your ship will be cleaned unintentionally by the end of this thread]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[OH HE'S HIDING IT]

All right. I'll see you soon.

[And practicing his illusions while he's waiting-- don't want to disappoint, after all.]

[scrubscrub]

[And she will be zapping in at any moment! Don't mind her. She's even gone and exchanged her black jumpsuit for her yellow dress, just so that she looks proper enough for a visit. Magic stuff, sign her up! By the time she's wandering his ship, she'll already unconsciously taking stock of what's going on around here.]

Hello?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Hello.

[He'd brewed himself some coffee (disgusting, but he has no tea of his own) and waits, legs crossed under him as he sits on the floor. He gives her a friendly wave-- god, but she really is tiny. Nine? Ten? She can't be more than that.]

Have a good trip over?

[scrubscrub]

I did! I've never magically moved from place to place like that before!

Incredible!

[Look, I'm used to wooden ships and magic fruit.]

Why are you sitting on the floor, sir? Normal people don't belong on the floor...

Are you cleaning?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Just relaxing. There's nothing wrong with the floor. I find it helps me think.

[He nods next to him.]

Come give it a try.

[scrubscrub]

[He hesitates for a moment, but when she sits, it's with ease and comfort. She's very much used to sitting on the floor... but not really sharing the space with someone else.]

What are you doing down here?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Magic is tiring. And while I'm not tired now, I'd like to be able to show you anything you ask for-- which means conserving my energy.

[A beat, and then:]

And the chairs are uncomfortable.

[scrubscrub]

Oh. I see.

[She doesn't really see, not entirely, but she'll trust him.

She looks skeptically at the chairs, though.]

Maybe you should have them replaced! Chairs could be more comfortable...

[theshabbiestofmen]

Possibly.

[No, he won't, but whatever, not going to argue. Instead Remus tugs out his wand and gestures-- a flicking motion, so natural that it's effortless.

Colored smoke emerges from his wand-- crimson, emerald, amethyst, all the colors rich and deep, the smoke wispy and playful. Quickly each color shapes itself into a different animal-- a green dog, yapping silently; a pink cat, stretching near Koala's hair.

All this takes several spells, of course, murmured under his breath-- but it's worth it, if he can amuse her.]

[scrubscrub]

[She stares at the wand in mild awe before the colors that appear in it completely absorb her attention — and she can't even keep the fake smile plastered on, because she's too surprised by the things being formed. Instead her eyes twinkle a bit.]

A cat...! I-it's so cute!

[She reaches out to poke cautiously at the cat's ears.]

How pretty...! You're so talented! Is this your job?

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He laughs-- not at her, simply pleased it's gone over so well. At her fingertips, the cat squirms, ears flicking as she stares at Koala.]

Not quite. But magic is my lifework.

[The other animals land at her feet, mingling. The dog butts his head against her foot, barking silently-- he wants attention too!]

[scrubscrub]

What a wonderful lifework to have, then...

[She beams a bit offering the dog some of her time as well.]

Do you entertain people with tricks often? If it's okay to ask; forgive my talkativeness!

1/2

[theshabbiestofmen]

[His stomach drops, but his smile doesn't flag.]

You can ask whatever you'd like.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[A beat, and then he remembers to actually answer.]

And, ah-- sometimes. My friend's cousin just had a baby, and I'm quite popular with her. She likes the cats best, I think.

[scrubscrub]

[UWAH.]

A baby!! I've never met a baby!

I mean, I've seen them, but I've never been close to one. I heard they smell nice.

...

I'm not very fond of crying, though.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He huffs a laugh.]

They only cry when they need something. It's the only way they can communicate. If you think of it like it's their way of talking, it's a bit easier to bear.

Or at least, that's what I tell myself when I babysit my friend's son. They do smell nice, for the record.

[scrubscrub]

Ohhh...

... If babies don't know how to talk, does that mean they don't hear words in their heads?

[THIS IS A TROUBLING THOUGHT.]