driftfleet | video;

Who: Koala and you.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: N/A unless you want to do ship stuff idk.
When: Today!! Or something.

~~[Hello everyone it's your fave weird smiling 11-year-old.]~~

I... just wanted to say — I did it, Mr. Greed! I finally got Top 10 in pinball, sir, just like you requested! [It's true, ~~thanks to Han~~ she's completely overtaken the scoreboards; hallelujah.] I, um, got all top 10 spots, too! Just in case you wanted me to have all ten... I'm sorry, my memory's a little fuzzy... I'm very sorry! But I did it. I'm glad I can finally move on to my next chore on my to-do list... I keep hearing these distant pinball machine noises in my head, b-but then I realize I'm just tired.

I didn't know games would be so hard! It was very frustrating... I almost frowned through it...

[She chucks very faintly, smiling wide.]

It's too bad that we're no longer near a planet. I-I think my crew would be very happy to have more games on board, like pinball. Or maybe better smelling clothing detergent. I like the kind that smells like flowers. I'll remember for the next place we stop by!

[AH, RIGHT. ANYWAY.]

Actually, I was... going to come on here for a request. If that's okay.

Ah. Well.

....

We need a new blender on the Huntress.

...

A-and if anyone has any spare table cloths, we could trade for those as well. There are large holes in the table currently.

...

And if anyone has something to help remove scorch marks...

[This ship is a f$%*ing mess.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She flusters a bit, looking to the side.]

I... I suppose. I just — I want to seem very useful!

[So I'm always valuable enough to not discard, is the general idea.]

If I can't even win a game for my crew, I can't imagine I'd be worth very much...

Let me give you a lesson I learned from my old man about human value. See, in the human world, you have people like you on the very bottom... or you have people at the very top ruling over all of them. But either one counts for only one life. No more, no less. That soul inside you is no less valuable than any other soul inside someone else's. Give that a thought before you go thinking about what your value is.

[That might almost almost have been inspirational if Greed wasn't of the opinion that human souls were ultimately an energy source and little more. A rich man and a poor man's souls didn't have any different value when it came to the construction of a philosopher's stone.]

... Do you really think so?

[Such an idea...]

How does your — um, old man know?

Well, you could say he's in the habit of harvesting human lives for his own sick demented scheme to become a god. Or he's just really smart like that.

[it's one of those two. or why not both.]

... That sounds horrible.

[greed what the fuck]

Hey, that's not the point. The point is, kid, you're alright in my book. So don't go freaking out if you're not cut out for the next job I give ya, got it?

I will do my best not to. Thank you for the opportunity to prove myself!

['Alright' is good, right? That sounds good.]

Good. Now I better not hear from anyone else that you're not having a good time.

[Because this is Greed, an expert at giving orders that are probably well intentioned... but probably won't turn out well.

He is just sick of Nami getting all up in his and Ling's business.]

You won't! You won't hear any such thing, I swear it!

[SWEATS DRAMATICALLY]

Atta girl. Now go scram and have fun somewhere.

[Pfft. Kids. He shakes his head and disconnects the call.]

[Did you say 'go pull out my hair trying to figure out what would constitute as a good time', because I'll just go do that thanks.]