driftfleet | Ninth Gate [Video]

Who: Jennifer Keller and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Wonderduck, if you want
When: January 24th. Hat tip to Babs for this post suggestion.

[When Jennifer begins the broadcast, she's showing everyone a crate with "DR. JENNFER KELLER, SS WONDERDUCK" plus a sponsor logo label on the front.]

I just got some more presents from our wonderful sponsors. Should I open the crate or just send it directly out the airlock? I guess I should open it, if only to engender some more good will.

[The sarcasm in her voice is obvious. Nonetheless, Jennifer takes the time to pry off the lid, carefully examining and setting out each item, the distaste evident on her face the further she goes. It's all cheese-related in some way- except there's no actual edible cheese involved. Scented soaps, candles, a novelty foam hat shaped like a wedge of cheese... even a plush toy cow.]

Oh, boy, they must have seen the basket Atroma gave me after they let us off the Marsiva... [This was said more to herself than anyone else, but then she addresses everyone again.] So, uh, does anybody want any cheese-scented soap? I'm sure it's... it's quite pleasant if you like cheese that much.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Tyrion is going to look considering for a long, long moment, before he simply says.]

.... No.

. . . oh.

[This is as appalled as Eugene's been in some time. Teasing people with the prospect of cheese?]

That's evil.

[If only Alistair were here. He might just love cheese enough to go for it.]

Why would anyone want to smell like... food...

[She's not even going to ask how one makes soap smell like cheese. Just. Nope.]

I'll take it.

Edited 2016-01-24 20:48 (UTC)

Just put it in the shower and don't tell anyone. See who uses it first.

Come on, I can't persuade you to even try?

Yeah, I was at least hoping to get some actual cheese out of the deal.

I'd understand if it was, say, strawberries or something... but... cheese?

Seriously?

Tempting... but I'm not sure I'd want to do that to my crew, either.

What's a doctor supposed to do with all of that, anyway?

Not the kind of people who can take a joke?

My dear Doctor, there is not enough gold in this world for the desire for me to smell of 'cheese'.

Well, can't blame me for trying. Maybe I'll be able to palm it off at a waystation somewhere.

Less that and more that I WOULD have to live in a confined space with the unlucky one.

Heck if I know. I guess they gave it to me because of where I come from- I grew up in Wisconsin. If that means anything to you.

Fair enough. Maybe try and sneak it onto someone else's ship, then.

That would be a nice prank. Especially if they're out of soap and are stuck with it til the next waystation.

Yes, I agree entirely. I know of a person back home who might love this but most other people I know of probably would not. Why would they send you such a thing, anyway?

Considering how crowded everything is? It is entirely possible we are due a waystation soon.

Oh, yeah, just south of the border.

[He lifts a hand in a volunteering sort of gesture, half-smiling.]

Vancouver. 2010s.

If it ends up on my ship, I will make sure to get revenge, though.

Sure. I don't know why you don't want it. It looks like some pretty sweet stuff!

Just imagine smelling like cheese for an entire day...or even longer!

[MOMO wouldn't find cheese scented soap good. She frowns slightly and fidgets over the video.]

It was kind of you to offer but I'll gladly pass.

That is odd, isn't it? I think this is the most people we've had on the Fleet since I've gotten here.

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