Ninth Gate [Video]

[forsometimenow]

Who: Jennifer Keller and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Wonderduck, if you want
When: January 24th. Hat tip to Babs for this post suggestion.

[When Jennifer begins the broadcast, she's showing everyone a crate with "DR. JENNFER KELLER, SS WONDERDUCK" plus a sponsor logo label on the front.]

I just got some more presents from our wonderful sponsors. Should I open the crate or just send it directly out the airlock? I guess I should open it, if only to engender some more good will.

[The sarcasm in her voice is obvious. Nonetheless, Jennifer takes the time to pry off the lid, carefully examining and setting out each item, the distaste evident on her face the further she goes. It's all cheese-related in some way- except there's no actual edible cheese involved. Scented soaps, candles, a novelty foam hat shaped like a wedge of cheese... even a plush toy cow.]

Oh, boy, they must have seen the basket Atroma gave me after they let us off the Marsiva... [This was said more to herself than anyone else, but then she addresses everyone again.] So, uh, does anybody want any cheese-scented soap? I'm sure it's... it's quite pleasant if you like cheese that much.

Comments

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[tallasaking]

[Tyrion is going to look considering for a long, long moment, before he simply says.]

.... No.

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[forsometimenow]

Come on, I can't persuade you to even try?

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[tallasaking]

My dear Doctor, there is not enough gold in this world for the desire for me to smell of 'cheese'.

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[forsometimenow]

Well, can't blame me for trying. Maybe I'll be able to palm it off at a waystation somewhere.

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[survivalistcookbook]

. . . oh.

[This is as appalled as Eugene's been in some time. Teasing people with the prospect of cheese?]

That's evil.

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[forsometimenow]

Yeah, I was at least hoping to get some actual cheese out of the deal.

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[survivalistcookbook]

What's a doctor supposed to do with all of that, anyway?

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[forsometimenow]

Heck if I know. I guess they gave it to me because of where I come from- I grew up in Wisconsin. If that means anything to you.

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[bryces_pup]

[If only Alistair were here. He might just love cheese enough to go for it.]

Why would anyone want to smell like... food...

[She's not even going to ask how one makes soap smell like cheese. Just. Nope.]

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[forsometimenow]

I'd understand if it was, say, strawberries or something... but... cheese?

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[bryces_pup]

Yes, I agree entirely. I know of a person back home who might love this but most other people I know of probably would not. Why would they send you such a thing, anyway?

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[forsometimenow]

I can at least think of why- the place where I grew up, Wisconsin, is know for its cheese production. So they probably thought I'd see it as a reminder of home or something.

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[madeinahole]

I'll take it.

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[forsometimenow]

Seriously?

[madeinahole]

Sure. I don't know why you don't want it. It looks like some pretty sweet stuff!

[forsometimenow]

Probably because I wouldn't want to smell like cheese.

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[droprate]

Just put it in the shower and don't tell anyone. See who uses it first.

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[forsometimenow]

Tempting... but I'm not sure I'd want to do that to my crew, either.

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[droprate]

Not the kind of people who can take a joke?

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[ydata]

Just imagine smelling like cheese for an entire day...or even longer!

[MOMO wouldn't find cheese scented soap good. She frowns slightly and fidgets over the video.]

It was kind of you to offer but I'll gladly pass.

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[forsometimenow]

[Jennifer laughed.]

I can't blame you there. I wouldn't want it, either.

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[ydata]

There's plenty of people on board this fleet. I'm sure you'll find someone who wants it!

[She won't be taking it though.]

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[stefanged]

You know, a cheese-scented candle could actually come in handy.

[Stefan's seriously considering this. Must be a slow day on the Paisley.]

Did you get cheese in your gift basket or something?

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[forsometimenow]

Do I even want to ask what you'd use it for?

Yeah, I did. I'm from Wisconsin, so I'm sure Atroma thought I'd like it and the sponsors picked up on it. In an incredibly wrong way, as they tend to do.

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[stefanged]

Probably not.

[The actual reason is an innocent one: distracting people with an unusual scent, so he can study in peace.]

Isn't that a little stereotypical? I mean, I'm from Jersey, and I can tell you right now that... [beat] Actually no, I would've liked some saltwater taffy.