driftfleet | Ninth Gate [Video]

Who: Jennifer Keller and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Wonderduck, if you want
When: January 24th. Hat tip to Babs for this post suggestion.

[When Jennifer begins the broadcast, she's showing everyone a crate with "DR. JENNFER KELLER, SS WONDERDUCK" plus a sponsor logo label on the front.]

I just got some more presents from our wonderful sponsors. Should I open the crate or just send it directly out the airlock? I guess I should open it, if only to engender some more good will.

[The sarcasm in her voice is obvious. Nonetheless, Jennifer takes the time to pry off the lid, carefully examining and setting out each item, the distaste evident on her face the further she goes. It's all cheese-related in some way- except there's no actual edible cheese involved. Scented soaps, candles, a novelty foam hat shaped like a wedge of cheese... even a plush toy cow.]

Oh, boy, they must have seen the basket Atroma gave me after they let us off the Marsiva... [This was said more to herself than anyone else, but then she addresses everyone again.] So, uh, does anybody want any cheese-scented soap? I'm sure it's... it's quite pleasant if you like cheese that much.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's plenty of people on board this fleet. I'm sure you'll find someone who wants it!

[She won't be taking it though.]

I think I have a taker, strangely enough. Someone did point out it would be a nice prank.

What kind of person would want cheese scented soap and why?

I suppose you could use it for a prank. No one would really see it coming, I think.

[Not her at least.]

Good question. I mean, Atroma did give me some cheese in a gift basket fairly recently, so I guess the sponsors saw that and got the totally wrong idea.

It's a shame, but at least they remembered you right?

I hope you get a better gift next time! [Something that doesn't smell like cheese randomly.]

I hope so. The sponsor gifts always tend to be a bit... off somehow, but I guess they do try.

I'm not sure what they think when they hand it to you. A gift's a gift right?

As long as it's harmless then it's okay.

They are always harmless, yes. Their main motive is to try and get us to use their products on the show so the audience is enticed to buy more.

It looks like they could use some help with that.

I don't think these are very practical gifts.

Yeah, I have to agree. The last time they gave me something, it was fruit-flavored beer. It didn't taste all that great. I'm not sure how much they actually understand us.

A fruit flavored beer sounds a little better than cheese scented soap. Their choices in gifts get stranger and stranger to me.

[A part of MOMO hopes she never gets anything awkward during her stay her. How sad.]

Yeah, at least that had some sort of use. This was totally useless.

Maybe you'll get one at some point?

Maybe.

It makes me kind of excited, actually. The sponsors don't exactly hand out ordinary things.

[None of these objects are normal at least to MOMO.]

It's definitely unexpected, that's for sure.

Right. [Nodding.]

I guess if you used cheese scented soap everyday you'd stop noticing the smell.

It'd seem normal, wouldn't it?

Most likely- once you're exposed to a smell for a while, your brain tends to ignore it.

I wouldn't want to get used to that.

I think I'd prefer a nicer scent like flowers. Flowers always smell great.

[On the other hand, if you smelt cheese all the time you'd just want to eat some. Unless that's what they were aiming for??]

Me, too- and that's what soap is usually scented as. Maybe Atroma will learn their lesson.

Ninth Gate [Video]

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video

video