002; action;

[theirinurpants]

Who: Alistair and anyone who wants to get shitfaced.
Broadcast: Nope.
Action: Varric's bar on the Iskaulit.
When: Tonight. All night. PONY UP.
WARNING: Depending on how conversations go, drunk!Alistair may make vague references to child neglect/abuse, or possibly dubiously consensual sex. Other topics might include violence and extreme daddy issues. Let me know if you want me to specifically avoid any of that!

[ For all intents and purposes, Alistair feels utterly alone. Sure, there are several people in the fleet who know him, but he doesn't seem to know any of them, and so it's weird. And if he's being honest with himself, he was feeling pretty lonely well before he got here. All of the friends he made during the Blight, when they were all on the road together, pretty much left after it ended, after his coronation. Even Amell ran off somewhere with Leliana, leaving him to the tender mercies of his uncle, his late brother's widow, and the rest of the Fereldan nobility.

He's been keeping up a cheerful face - he doesn't really know how to do anything else - but what with being here, learning about things he probably shouldn't have learned about, and having a little bit of money from - somewhere, he's finally just. Showed up to the bar. Varric's is the closest thing to familiar he can find, so he's drinking whatever ale his money can buy. And he's not stopping until the money runs out or he is insensible on the floor. ]

Another. Please.

Comments

[theirinurpants]

Ah, well. There you go.

[ So maybe he really didn't have much of a choice. He has a hard time picturing himself happy with having the throne, so, all right. He doesn't see the point in asking after Anora in that case - if he's king in her world, Anora is no doubt queen. What other outcome could there be? ]

[bryces_pup]

I'm sorry.

[She blurts it out before she thinks it through. Her guilt is overruling her caution.]

Anora just reminded me too much of her father and I did not think she could or should be trusted. Especially after she back stabbed us TWICE and...

[And she's ... probably said too much at this rate.]

[theirinurpants]

She back stabbed us twice? I mean, I know the part where she landed us in prison, but I get why she did it. She stood with us against her father.

[bryces_pup]

Oh? Then your Anora was much nicer than mine. Mine not only happily got us arrested, she sided with her father at the Landsmeet and jeopardized Fereldan for the sake of keeping her position.

[theirinurpants]

She's not my Anora. [ Boy does that wording feel awkward to him. ] I don't think she belongs to anybody but herself. She was perfectly willing to cooperate with us as long as she knew she would stay Queen. [ Which... might answer his unspoken question about whether Anora is queen in Riona's world. ]

[bryces_pup]

Well, no. I meant your Anora as in, the Anora from your Thedas. Please, even I wouldn't dare to insinuate something like that about her. The woman could probably pop up here suddenly and gauge my eyes out. [Work with her here, Alistair. Gosh!! (But yeah, no, better wording is needed. She's just too drunk to think that through entirely.)

As for the mention about cooperating with her... Riona stays tellingly silent about that. Sober her would have a hard time dancing around that without lying; drunk her isn't going to even try.]

[theirinurpants]

I know. Bust still.

[ He wrinkles his nose. ]

Anyway, I don't want to talk about her. It's not fair to talk about her when she's not here to - defend herself, or whatever.

[bryces_pup]

That's only fair. [She knocks back the rest of her drink... and wisely decides not to get another one. At least for now.] So what should we talk about, hm?

[theirinurpants]

That cheese thing was good. We could always talk about food some more.

[bryces_pup]

Food is always a good go-to. [But that does leave the question of what, specifically-

Wait.]

Oh! Another lovely thing I came across on the station: burgers. Heard of them? [Probably not but she'll at least ask.]

[theirinurpants]

Nnnnnnnope. What's that?

[bryces_pup]

[Alistair, prepare for your mind to be BLOWN.]

Okay, so. They take two - they call them "buns". It's really like two halves of a really big bun as we know it. [She gestures with her hands.] In between the buns they have some kind of meat. I had something similar to beef here, but you can stick in any kind, from what I was told. So you've got your meat, and then you can put things on it. Almost anything! Greens, onions, bacon, cheese - that's a very popular "topping" - tomatoes, bacon... And of course, there are the sauces that come with them. Too many to list, and all of them sounded delicious.

[theirinurpants]

That sounds... magical. Are you sure that's a real thing?

[bryces_pup]

Quite! I had one just the other day. I put... chicken, cheese, greens, bacon and some kind of white sauce on mine. [A happy sigh.] So damn delicious. I almost just about had an or- [She pauses, remembering just in time that they're out in public.] ...you know.

[theirinurpants]

[ He pauses at her abrupt stop, and glances at her. ]

What?

[bryces_pup]

[Brain to mouth filter, why have you forsaken her?]

You know. I can't say it out loud in public!

[Oh Maker is she going to have to spell it out? It's been awhile since she's had to do that with him. Or, well, with an Alistair of some sort.]

[theirinurpants]

So... something... dirty?

[ He raises his eyebrows at her and waggles them, though, no, he still isn't quite sure of the word she was planning to use. This Alistair may not technically be a virgin but that doesn't mean he's familiar with most of the terminology. ]

[bryces_pup]

[His eyebrow waggle makes her snort in a most unladylike fashion.]

Yes. It's... oh Maker.

[She scoots over until she's closer to him. She beckons him to lean in before she whispers:]

Orgasm.

[theirinurpants]

Uh.

[ Wow, he thinks maybe he knows what that is? Do women have that? He has no idea. ]

I - um.

[ Is he blushing? He's probably blushing. ]

[bryces_pup]

Oh you're blushing!

[She has a huge fit of giggles over it because, honestly. It's Alistair blushing.]

You do know what I'm talking about though, right?

[Hey, his level of sex ed might differ a bit from the Alistair from her Thedas...]

[theirinurpants]

Yes! ...Sort of. I mean, in... theory.

[ He stares carefully at his hands on the bar. ]

I need another drink.

[bryces_pup]

I'm sorry! [So she says as she bursts into another fit of giggles. She forgot how cute this was, though she doesn't want to overly embarrass him, either. Bearing that in mind, she sucks in a breath, getting control of herself.]

I am sorry, really.

[theirinurpants]

Yeah, yeah. [ He smiles a little at her - making sure to keep his eyes on her face. ]

[bryces_pup]

[She waves the bartender down, gesturing to Alistair to get him another drink.]

I'll get you that drink as a true apology.

[What better way to say you're sorry then by helping someone get even drunker?]

...is all of this helping? I mean, I assume you came here to drown your sorrows or at least forget all the craziness that you've learned about since coming here. Is this working to help with that?

[theirinurpants]

Yes, it's helping. Promise.

[ He gives her a faint smile. ]