driftfleet | video; optional action

Who: Celeste Blackwell and the fleet
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Can be found sulking around the SS Golden kitchen
When: Feb 6, evening

[The last time this girl appeared on the network, she was in quite a hot rage, so it might be odd to see her looking quiet and pensive now. Sad, despite a slight smile, to those who really look closely.]

I've been away for awhile - don't ask, I don't quite understand it myself - but apparently I've come back just in time for Valentine's Day to be around the corner. And normally I'd be the last person to bring up something like this, but...

[But what? She doesn't say, just asks her question.]

... have you ever been in love? What were they like? What really made you think "My god, this is the one" when there are so many other people out there who might've been just as good? And I mean, if you're in love right now and you still want to answer, it needn't be past tense. I suppose - I just don't quite understand this either, I never have, but that doesn't stop it from happening.

[She appears to be at a loss for a moment, before shaking her head and chuckling to herself.]

My mates would laugh themselves sick if they could hear me now.

[And that's all.]

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[This is a topic Kaworu's been thinking about for lifetimes. He's sat with his loved one and thought about it. He's pondered it while alone in the night. Love means a great deal to Kaworu Nagisa, and he thinks it's a joy to share.]

I was in love before I understood anything about it. I thought this is the one before I knew what 'the one' meant, or what that person was supposed to complete. I didn't even know that I was missing something in the first place.

But there's no singular quality that results in love like that. It's the sum of a person. It's everything that person has ever been, and everything they have the potential to be. I know that if, after this, I lived an innumerable measure of lives, I would still gravitate to that person. I know that if, somewhere, I were to exist without that person, I would be barren. Love is fate. Love is guidance.

[All his countenance is soft, hushed, but practically aglow with a feeling of goodness. He must be happy to be in love.]

Good lord. I've heard of hopeless romantics, but I think you've set a brand new bar.

[Yes, she knows she shouldn't be flippant in the face of such a speech, but it's - so huge. It's both heights and depths that she'd never allow herself to reach. Even clinging to the belief that her love can find her across universes, she still can't imagine dedicating herself to him the way this bloke is talking about.

It scares her. So her natural response is to revert back to flippancy.]

[To Kaworu's credit, he refrains from looking wounded. He keeps smiling, patiently. Love is a hard thing to really understand. He's still not sure that he's got the hang of it; he won't blame anyone else for feeling a little lost.]

I don't think anything's hopeless.

No, I imagine you don't.

[Now she just looks bemused, her tone a little wry but not at his expense. A boundless optimist, as well. What a character she's found here.]

It's really that much to you, then? Basically everything?

Basically. [He pauses here, thinking about what he should say and how he should say it — love means different things to different people, and Kaworu knows that not all individuals have had a joyous love. Even Kaworu's own love has been a painful labor... But no matter what's happened— ] I've learned many things from the person I love. I'll always be grateful for the opportunities I've been afforded. My life is meaningful because I have loved.

Haven't you got dreams, though, anything you want to achieve or - I don't know, just milestones or goals that are only for yourself? Not about another person?

[Haha. The thing is, Celeste wasn't wrong when she called Kaworu hopeless. He's got everything banking on love.

He looks close to vacant for a moment, as if he can't even consider the concept, before his gentle cheer comes back.]

The only thing I really want is for that person to finally be happy.

[It's really not fair to open up a topic like this and then judge someone for their answer, but - she is just not equipped for this. At all. It's called codependence where she's from, and it sounds all too creepy.

(Does it? Are Caleb and Nico any different? Can she really know that the feeling isn't the same just because it's not the same exact circumstance?)]

That - doesn't really seem - healthy. Admirable, in its own way, but how do you even know you exist when you're that selfless?

[Probably, to a love-addled teenager, dying repeatedly for the love of your life sounds very grand and noble. In other words, yeah, Kaworu's more than a little codependent, and he has no idea how to go about being "healthy". He worships love to the point of building his entire identity around it. How does he know he exists, she asks, and he could almost laugh. His love is what defines him.

Well, he does have some dramatic inclinations.]

Let me ask you something. Is it strange to you when a mother places her child's happiness above all else?

[Her expression sours dramatically at that.]

Yes, very, but let's just say I haven't the best example to draw from in my own experience.

[Oh, that's sad. Kaworu's brows slant, and there's a sympathetic twist to his mouth.]

Then the concept of unconditional love is fresh to you. I understand.

Oh, I suppose my parents probably love me. [Said very grudgingly.] They've just never liked me enough for me to be all that certain. They were always happiest when I did what made them happy.

[Kaworu nods along. He understands this, too.]

You were encouraged to flourish only according to someone else's rigid perimeters. Sometimes, an adult who feels unfulfilled will project all of their hopes onto a child, but I think that's detrimental. An individual's success can only be determined by that individual. A person has to love themselves, not what someone else wants them to be.

[By the way, he's a massive hypocrite who doesn't take his own advice. Just saying.]

[Well. That nail was definitely struck right on the head.]

That one took me quite awhile to figure out. Even when you fail people in that position, you start to define yourself by that failure.

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