driftfleet | video; optional action

Who: Celeste Blackwell and the fleet
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Can be found sulking around the SS Golden kitchen
When: Feb 6, evening

[The last time this girl appeared on the network, she was in quite a hot rage, so it might be odd to see her looking quiet and pensive now. Sad, despite a slight smile, to those who really look closely.]

I've been away for awhile - don't ask, I don't quite understand it myself - but apparently I've come back just in time for Valentine's Day to be around the corner. And normally I'd be the last person to bring up something like this, but...

[But what? She doesn't say, just asks her question.]

... have you ever been in love? What were they like? What really made you think "My god, this is the one" when there are so many other people out there who might've been just as good? And I mean, if you're in love right now and you still want to answer, it needn't be past tense. I suppose - I just don't quite understand this either, I never have, but that doesn't stop it from happening.

[She appears to be at a loss for a moment, before shaking her head and chuckling to herself.]

My mates would laugh themselves sick if they could hear me now.

[And that's all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

its utterly terrifying
everything about love scares me really
the good parts and the bad ones
i tried to swear off it because it was too bloody scary but

well
thats not likely to work is it

[Holy shit. Shinji is in complete agreement. Love is utterly terrifying, if only because the person who's in love with him... well, it's quite a spectacle at times...]

If you could, do you think you would rid yourself of it? Being in love.

[Your boyfriend is something else, Shinji.]

absolutely not
its one of the best things thats ever happened to me
but ive found that the things that sound safest are usually a waste of time
and the things that scare the piss out of me turn out to be worth it

its a pain in the arse but its probably life

[Understatement.]

Don't you get tired of being scared?

no
i get over it

well nothing is that easy of course
but its the general idea
if you do enough things that scare you then less things look scary

Sounds like something a therapist would say. Exposure therapy.

ugh does it really
that was pure coincidence
the closest i ever came was a school counsellor
and we were more mates than anything
i promise im not trying to psychoanalyse you

It's okay. I'm not interesting enough to analyze.

I just wish exposure would work for me.

youve got to be joking
any human mind is bound to be a

oh thats very presumptuous of me
i should know better by now
you could be any sort of being at all
i still doubt that youre boring though
people who say that about themselves tend to be the most interesting
at least in my experience
the bragging sort are the dull ones

youve tried then
did you just end up more scared?

Oh, I'm a human. Don't worry. [Even as he types that, Shinji feels a chill going down his spine. Best not think about it right now. He tries not to think about it at all, but that only ratchets up his anxiety...]

I'm the exception to the rule, then. I bet there are jellyfish with more personality. I bet there are rocks with more to offer. At least rocks don't get scared. If I'm scared of everything, then I should be used to everything by now, but I'm not. So it doesn't work for me.

Edited 2016-02-19 09:14 (UTC)

there wouldnt be cause for worry either way
ive had mates that are all sorts of things

but you still dont sound boring
you do sound very sad
and like youve been told a lot of horrible things
people dont just think that about themselves out of nowhere

You weren't supposed to psychoanalyze me.

and a smartarse

but youre quite right
statements retracted

It's fine, it's fine.

Plenty of people have it worse than I do. I'm not special in that regard.

thats quite true as well
some of the stories ive heard are too horrible to believe
even just the worlds
never mind what the people in them go through

im still just as fucked up by my own life though
maybe its selfishness
i dont know

Well... I won't accuse you of having a sob story if you won't accuse me of having one.

[Ha! She thinks she could start to warm to this person.]

that sounds like a perfect deal
we cant exactly shake on it so youll have to take my word

are you using text to be completely incognito
or can i get a name?

I'm using text because it's easier, that's all. [Again: less chance of sounding like a moron.]

Shinji Ikari. What's your name?

celeste blackwell
im not sure this counts as meeting
but its a pleasure to chat with you

I think it counts. It's not like I'm leaving my ship anytime soon.

why not?
theres that entire station out there
its practically like a real normal city

It looks like it's easy to get lost in, you know?

[And his social anxiety isn't ready to deal with that many people...]

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