video; optional action

[nulliverse]

Who: Celeste Blackwell and the fleet
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Can be found sulking around the SS Golden kitchen
When: Feb 6, evening

[The last time this girl appeared on the network, she was in quite a hot rage, so it might be odd to see her looking quiet and pensive now. Sad, despite a slight smile, to those who really look closely.]

I've been away for awhile - don't ask, I don't quite understand it myself - but apparently I've come back just in time for Valentine's Day to be around the corner. And normally I'd be the last person to bring up something like this, but...

[But what? She doesn't say, just asks her question.]

... have you ever been in love? What were they like? What really made you think "My god, this is the one" when there are so many other people out there who might've been just as good? And I mean, if you're in love right now and you still want to answer, it needn't be past tense. I suppose - I just don't quite understand this either, I never have, but that doesn't stop it from happening.

[She appears to be at a loss for a moment, before shaking her head and chuckling to herself.]

My mates would laugh themselves sick if they could hear me now.

[And that's all.]

Comments

[nulliverse]

[Celeste almost wants to laugh at that, but it's not really a funny sort of question anymore - she's had to ask similar ones more than once, expecting that she was misunderstanding, and found out that very simple things in her life were totally alien in others.]

Oh no, we certainly have nature, at least out in the country. But I grew up in the city, and in fairly extreme isolation for a good deal of it... I suppose the school I went to for a few months did have nature, but as they were carefully tended gardens, I don't think they really count.

There just wasn't very much opportunity for me to get to nature, you see.

[takeabow]

Oh, I'm sorry. That sounds terrible, to be honest. Maybe it's just whatever people are used to, but I really don't like cities all that much.

[ she really can't conceptualize not having access to the outdoors... she knows it happens (people live in the Capitol) but it doesn't feel right ]

[nulliverse]

It is what you're used to, really, but that can also set you very far apart from others when it comes into contact with what most people are used to.

[Her tone and expression are obviously meant to play it off as not such a big deal, but the words are a bit too honest for that. She's faced loneliness, a lot of it, and it can tend to bleed right from her pores when the topic comes up.]

See, for me, I don't know that I could ever say sod it all and run off into the wild forever. But the option... just the option to go where you like, really, wherever that might be. It's difficult to lose.

[takeabow]

Yeah, I agree.

Sorry about where you're from, though.

[nulliverse]

Oh, it isn't all bad, where I'm from. There's certainly much worse out there, in the multiverse or whatever you'd like to call it. What happened to me was just... luck of the draw, I suppose, and poor choices. I did tell you that you weren't alone in that.

[It seems like she should smile along with that last comment, but she's gotten a bit quiet and withdrawn.]

What about where you're from, though? Did you live somewhere out in the country?

[takeabow]

There are woods outside of the boundaries of the district, which weren't really patrolled because I think the rest of Panem would rather forget about us.

[ she's... matter-of-fact about it. not self-pitying, just. hey this is how the world is ]

[nulliverse]

[Well... okay, but at the same time, there are a few things there that stand out as unusual to Celeste. She's not sure how hard to push, her expression guardedly curious.]

So... are districts sort of like... bloody hell, it's hard to know who'll understand what sort of terminology in places like this. I think I've got a bit of an idea of how it works, though - you're on the margins, in any case.

[London certainly has enough rough, poor neighbourhoods for her to get the picture, even if her family's always been fairly affluent - her parents did watch the news when she was young.]

[takeabow]

Our country is divided into 12 districts. It used to be 13, but District 13 acted up. They were made an example of... The Capitol does a lot of teaching by "example".

[ The disgust is becoming more apparent now. It's not a happy topic ]

[nulliverse]

[So it is a country, she's gotten that much right. And - yes, it's ugly.]

There's been some of that in our history, as well. Cities full of civilians flattened in retaliation for military strikes, that sort of thing. People can be remarkably ugly creatures.

[takeabow]

Yeah... that much is right.

There's some good, though. There and other places.

[nulliverse]

There is, and I think not forgetting that is what keeps you able to cope with it all. [She arches an eyebrow wryly.] Speaking as someone who most certainly has forgotten and had to be forcibly reminded.

It makes the special people even more special, doesn't it?

[takeabow]

Yeah... it really does. Like my sister.

[nulliverse]

[Her nose wrinkles a bit at that, before she can stop herself. But she's not above feeling happy for others who got something she didn't, so eventually her lips tug into a small smile.]

You actually got a good sister, did you. Now there's something I really can't imagine. What's she like?

[takeabow]

You didn't?

She's younger than me. Small, even for her age, and blonde. Really kind, though. Way nicer than me.

[nulliverse]

You don't seem so horrible so far. [Celeste's eyebrows arch a little. Brusque, sure, but not unkind.]

Carmen's just a brat. She was born a brat and she'll die a brat. She thinks the sun shines out of her arse and no one's seen fit to set her straight yet, so why should she stop believing it? No one but me, but heaven forbid she listen to me.

[takeabow]

Sounds... complicated.

[ an understatement ]

[nulliverse]

Not anymore. I don't imagine I'll see very much of my family at all when I get back... not if Eudio makes good on our contract after all this.

[Just beneath her light, airy tone is a crackling undercurrent of bitterness.]

[takeabow]

Contract? What contract?

[nulliverse]

Oh lord... this is a long story right from the beginning. Let me see - the last city I lived in, Eudio, had people from all different universes and worlds like this. But they recruited people rather than kidnapping them, and they'd offer an incentive for a stay in the city wherein you'd perform a service for them. Almost like a wish, except that you did have to hold up your end of the bargain.

I'd completed my contract and was leaving for home when Atroma decided they had other plans for me. So I've yet to find out if the last few months of my life actually changed anything for me at home.

[takeabow]

You willingly stayed? Why?

[ not incredulous but curious ]

[nulliverse]

Because I wanted what I'd asked for just that badly. I also changed it, once or twice, but that never changed how badly I wanted it.

And - well, because I made a life there. That's where the man I love is, at least until he's sent home, and a lot of good mates. People who changed my outlook on nearly everything.

[takeabow]

...I can understand that.

[ she really, really can. she doesn't even want to go home ]

[nulliverse]

It's funny, isn't it. I never felt like I had any real place where I came from, like I could do anything right or please anyone. I wasn't sure there was anything left for me. All of that came from a completely different world.

[takeabow]

Do you have to go back to your world? I don't want to.

[nulliverse]

I - yes, I think I do. For personal reasons. Hiding away in a place where the situation and people and - system that made me who I am are irrelevant can only work for so long. I need to go back and face them, and prove to them and to myself that I can make it on my own.