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Who: Celeste Blackwell and the fleet
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Can be found sulking around the SS Golden kitchen
When: Feb 6, evening

[The last time this girl appeared on the network, she was in quite a hot rage, so it might be odd to see her looking quiet and pensive now. Sad, despite a slight smile, to those who really look closely.]

I've been away for awhile - don't ask, I don't quite understand it myself - but apparently I've come back just in time for Valentine's Day to be around the corner. And normally I'd be the last person to bring up something like this, but...

[But what? She doesn't say, just asks her question.]

... have you ever been in love? What were they like? What really made you think "My god, this is the one" when there are so many other people out there who might've been just as good? And I mean, if you're in love right now and you still want to answer, it needn't be past tense. I suppose - I just don't quite understand this either, I never have, but that doesn't stop it from happening.

[She appears to be at a loss for a moment, before shaking her head and chuckling to herself.]

My mates would laugh themselves sick if they could hear me now.

[And that's all.]

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[Oh. Oh, that bashfulness is quite sweet. She can't hold back a small grin.]

Were you hiding it, for some reason? [There's a quiet sort of understanding on her face.] I've been in a similar situation. We couldn't even really tell each other, because it would've been too much of a disaster if we let ourselves think it could honestly happen. But - I do know how much more you want to scream it from the rooftops the more you need to keep a lid on it.

[ That he can completely relate to. ] Exactly! I've waited too long to say all the things I wanted. And she doesn't deserve that.

In my world, it's forbidden for me to have any romantic relationships. We couldn't be together in the public eye. It would destroy the lives we worked so hard for. But we couldn't keep away either.

You couldn't be with anyone? That's -

[Well, she tried to do it as a matter of choice, and how well that worked is plainly obvious now. If it had been enforced by some outer power, she imagines that would only have made the temptation ten times as great.]

- well, you know, I could very well have destroyed the life of the person I mentioned as well. It wouldn't have been the relationship itself, but the positions we were in. You're - I think you're stronger, in a lot of ways, for being together regardless.

["So you ran away," Caleb said when she told him about Thomas, then asked: "Are you happy now?" And all she could do was cry.]

[ A wry smile. ]

Some would disagree. It's weak for me to give in to my own wants and desires. Staying away might have been the kinder and ... wiser thing to do. Nip the bud before it blooms. But I couldn't have lived with myself if I did. It would always haunt me.

[ Cautiously: ]

Did you ever ... get together with that person?

Yes, it would have.

[She can promise that, even now that she's found a love in which she can indulge freely.]

We - we flirted. It was both very free and very careful, if you can imagine such a thing. Forever walking a line. But when I realised I couldn't go on without overstepping it, I told him I couldn't see him again. And he didn't object. [It's her turn for a flicker of a wry smile, one that doesn't last long.] You can imagine how difficult that would have been, if I hadn't been taken elsewhere soon after, as he worked at the school I was in.

[ He almost looks concern, worried when he looks at her through the camera. Because she made all the decisions that Padme should have. ]

Do you think about what could have been? If you had chosen differently, would you be happier?

[That makes her laugh, but it's a very, very sad sound.]

I can't help it sometimes. There are a million questions like that in my life - if I'd done this, if I hadn't done that. Sometimes I think I got it all wrong, even when I tried to make it right.

But... [And here her smile is more genuine, even warm, although she's looking away from that keen stare.] ... Caleb, my boyfriend, he isn't wrong. He's the only thing I'm completely sure I did right. And it's not that it's any easier being with him, especially now, when I've no idea when I'll see him again. It's just that nothing is ever enough to scare me away and make me run this time, so - that must mean it's right. Mustn't it?

[ He smiles, bittersweet. ] I don't think loving anyone should be wrong. Even if they don't love you the same way, or if ... [ A wry chuckle ] You just happen to get kidnapped by a galactic holodrama show.

Your Caleb, he's very lucky to have you. You're lucky to have each other.

[She laughs when he does, because it's a blessed relief, really. A little bit of humour, and edging on dark and wry the way her own does.]

It'd certainly be a story to tell the grandchildren, if things get that far. Hardly the average "how did you two meet?" tale, spanning multiple universes as it does.

[She knows their situation is so unusual that it'll never follow that traditional of a path, though. No matter how long it lasts.]

I think we are, actually. I think lucky is the perfect word, with how things fell out. But you sound fortunate yourself, if you took the leap and she was willing to follow.

I never thought about having to explain to my children --grandchildren how I met my wife. Until we came here and--

[ He doesn't even know if he wants to go into it and burdening Celeste with his worries doesn't seem right. ]

But I am. I'm always reminded how much of it was up to fate, if you believe that sort of thing. But I ...I think we both think about what we should have done when things get difficult.

[She waits on that "and" for a moment, expression expectant, but chooses not to press after the sudden shift. She knows the kinds of things that can happen in these places, the madness of timelines and only slightly alternate universes. If Eudio taught her one thing as important as how to love, it was how to show discretion.]

It's very easy to do, when things get difficult. I've spent quite a lot of time here wondering why and how on earth I devoted myself to a bloke from another universe, in another universe, when I thought I'd sworn off hopeless causes.

But it makes sense, when you're with them. And it'll make sense when I see him again, I know that. I hope it's the same for you, at least, even when you really threw caution to the wind much more than I did.

I told my padawan- my friend recently, there's no good time and no good place to fall in love. I think you just proved my point. Padme and I, we got married a few days after the start of a galactic war and I thought that exact same thing at the time-- it just made sense to be with her, even if that was breaking my Jedi vows.

[ A wry smile; he thinks about Clovis with Padme for a brief moment and his lack of control then. How that almost ended their relationship. ]

I hated having to walk away from her. I couldn't imagine having to ever walk away from her again.

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