(no subject)

[complicatedliar]

Who: Loki
Broadcast: Everyone
Action: Paisley
When: Right now!

[Action]

[Guess who just shows up to breakfast one... afternoon? Loki emerges from his office, looking for all the world like a man who has just woken up from an extended nap, barely open eyes, trying to stretch his back and shoulders, the whole nine. He wanders into the kitchen, fumbles around until he makes himself something hot and dark enough that he can pretend it's coffee, and stares suspiciously into the cup before drinking.

Ugh, his mouth tastes like someone glued one of Thor's feet to it. Ugh. What possessed him to sleep like this...

(Guess who has no idea he's been missing for weeks~)]

[A bit later: Broadcast]

[Awake now, and... well, he looks amused. Which is to say as if he's planning on flaying someone alive.]

Why yes, I have returned. Hide all of the party favors, lock up your sons and daughters, cancel the pedestrian fireworks displays.

A funny thing, missing time. You'd never know it was gone until someone tells you. Has anyone else fallen victim to such thievery?

Comments

[complicatedliar]

You must not get them terribly often.

[universal_charm]

Now you're just being salty.

[complicatedliar]

Merely... honest. My besetting sin.

[universal_charm]

Really? I wouldn't think honesty would be the besetting sin of a trickster god.

[complicatedliar]

You can't believe everything you hear. Rumors are terribly ugly.

[universal_charm]

But there's always a little grain of truth in there - or so I hear. I mean, the ancient Norse couldn't have gotten everything wrong, could they?

_{[ There's a saucy tilt of his brows. He doesn't believe you're a god, but a visiting alien? Sure, that he believes. ]}

[complicatedliar]

The grain is never that which you think it is. That's the trick.

[universal_charm]

I'll be sure to remember that next time I come across the more interesting tales about you.

[complicatedliar]

Ask yourself what the tellers sought to gain.

had to come up, and there it is

[universal_charm]

Well, there is that one particular story about you and a horse, and I'm really not sure I want to know what they had to gain from that one.

sigh.

[complicatedliar]

My unending annoyance that everyone is so amused by the idea of a man being raped by a horse?

You ought to consider what it says about you that you feel the need to ask after it.

Better to get it out now

[universal_charm]

To be fair, that's really not how that story is presented, though I'll keep that in mind next time it comes up.

_{[ There's a pause. ]}

Did you visit Earth, once upon a time? It doesn't seem like you did for long if the stories are so grossly inaccurate.

I'm so tired of it.

[complicatedliar]

Yes, one must always emphasize fairness when it comes to such assault, by man or beast. It is very important to human morality to be balanced in these issues, I have observed.

We did walk upon Midgard, before the Allfather decreed we should stop.

[universal_charm]

Midgard... Is that your name for Earth then?

_{[ It was always interesting to him to hear things like that, what others races called them if they'd already had a knowledge of them. ]}

And why stop? Or I guess why come at all? Earth in that era couldn't have offered you much, I imagine.

_{[ Did they have something like the Prime Directive? Though he doubted it since they'd come in the first place and been among them long enough for their names to be learned. ]}

[complicatedliar]

Yes.

It was a convenient playground, and we had humanity under our protection. Including fighting off at least one invasion on your behalf. As for the reason behind the Allfather's decision, he didn't bother to tell me.

[universal_charm]

Well, on behalf of humanity, thank you for that.

_{[ There's a mixture of sincerity and sarcasm in there, because all right, the playground bit rubbed a touch raw, but he could saw he was grateful that some other race had been looking out for primitive humans. He shuddered to think what they might have become if someone like the Klingon had taken over their young world for resources. ]}

[complicatedliar]

Now that's a rare thing. [Being thanked in a way that's not entirely sarcastic.]

[universal_charm]

What? Being thanked?

[complicatedliar]

Yes.