driftfleet | 01 - video/action

Who: Winn & you!
Broadcast: video
Action: on the Marsiva
When: now!

action;

[ it's the smell that makes the first tug towards wakefulness, or rather the lack of it - over the years, winn's gotten used to waking up to a familiar aroma of an apartment that's just a little too dusty, has just a little too many clothes that really should have been washed yesterday lying around, maybe some residual takeout smell that still lingers from the night before because he's forgotten to properly ventilate - none of it is hitting his nose now, and his mind is not taking it well. groaning, and rubbing his eyes with one hand, his other reaches for his bedside table to pick up his phone - only to hit air.

well that's weird.

eyes finally blinking open, he finds himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. shifting in bed - he finds himself falling to an unfamiliar floor.

what the hell?

he's dreaming, right? he has to be dreaming. or maybe it's a freaky fantasy like the one kara was stuck in - though why would anyone waste disgusting alien hallucinatory-leach things on him? and besides, this - this looks absolutely nothing like his ideal fantasy world! well, just in case it'll work (he'd fill really silly if he passes up the simplest solution for being too simple and it'll end up being all that it takes!), he shuts his eyes tightly, pinches his arm, and mumbles to himself ]

I hella reject this fantasy. You are rejected, fired, gone!

[ opening his eyes again, he finds that unsurprisingly - the only change that transpired is that his arm now aches. well, what else was he expecting? pulling himself up to his feet, he decides he might as well try to figure out where he is - and how to get out of here.

and then he spots the window. blurting out a girly scream, he turns his back to it, his knees nearly buckling under him, and his face losing color. slowly, he turns back towards it and chances another peek, chuckling nervously at his own behavior, trying to ridicule his fear away ]

That's a pretty good green screen -

video;

[ the face that appears on your screen is pale and clearly very shaken. actually, he kinda looks like he's going to be sick, doesn't he? good thing that space tech isn't 7-D! ...unless it is in which case, now would be a pretty bad time to find that out... ]

I got a couple questions for -- whoever's watching this - or - [ he looks around, waving his free hand to gesture around the room - wherever the less voluntary cameras may be ] this - If this is a reality show, when's elimination? Cuz I - I volunteer to go home! I mean let's face it, there is no point to keep me in the running - unless elimination's actually eh, elimination [ he runs his finger against his throat to illustrate his point ] in which case -- my vote is still on home, thanks -

This...isn't really space, is it? [ he chuckles nervously ] I know 'beam me up' was my birthday wish for like 3 years running, but you're over a decade late and this is so not what I had in mind - [ he clears his throat. not the point! and not something he needed to share with - potentially an entire galaxy. actually, this whole broadcast was probably pretty dumb, way to make himself easy prey. ok, no worries! he can still salvage this! ] Anyway! Little help, a lotta help, Xanax, I'll take what you got, thanks. [ clearing his throat again ] Over? [ nailed it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...maybe we're not an ant farm. Maybe we're lab rats.

[ but what for? ]

Six - years? [ he's got questions, but they're all overshadowed by a deep sadness. kara's here, so he's not really missing anyone that important back home - not having a life comes in handy that way - but still, he can't imagine not seeing national city in this long. not seeing his bed, his laptop, his shows, his toys...

and this guy probably has people to miss too. this is just unbelievably cruel. ]

I'm so sorry. [ he's got nothing else, really ]

I wouldn't surprise me.

[Crowley gives a shrug at that. Not that he doesn't appreciate the sentiment of course but... ]

I've had longer naps than that. It doesn't bother me. Mortals? Well, it bothers them slightly more.

So...so you're immortal?

[ that's. that sure is a thing he's asking him to accept now. ]

Wha - what are you?

I sure am.

[It's only going to get worse, Winn. ]

I'm a demon. The Serpent of Eden, specifically.

[ which is worse: this guy telling the truth, or this guy being completely out of his mind?

ha...haha. god he wishes he could hide behind kara about now. ]

Right that's - that's great - very - impressive - so is demon like 'alien', lots of different kinds? [ some are actually nice and not going to kill him where he stands??? ]

No. Demon is like "demon". We're all Fallen Angels, we just have different jobs.

[They are all, quite literally, The Worst. Crowley's just a freak of nature. ]

[ great. fallen. angel. how does he get out of this conversation without dying? oh god - that is probably not a phrase that's going to help him here - breathe, winn, you're spiraling! he scolds himself. ]

That's - good - good to know. Information is great. To have. Thank you.

[ what are the odds this guy is really unsatisfied with his job and has no desire to complete it? alternatively, he'll also take this guy being in charge of hell's...laundromat. or. something harmless! just sign him up for anything that doesn't involve any level of deadness or pain! he's not picky on the details! but he can't stress out the importance of a lack of pain and deadness enough! ]

[Crowley is at least used to this kind of reaction. He gives a lazy wave of his hand, leaning back on his chair. ]

Unclench. I'm officially retired. I'm not interested in your soul, or...whatever else you might think I'm interested in. That takes far too much bloody energy for me to be bothered with.

[Worst. Demon. Ever. ]

[ all depends on your perspective! because from where winn's standing - best demon ever! unless he's lying, to toy with him or something. demons do that, don't they? that's a nasty habit.

not that. he can do anything about it if he is. so might as well cling to some hope here, right? statistically, the odds have to be in your favor sometimes! ]

Retirement is great! I hope you're enjoying retirement, work can be such a pain in the ass - I have the worst boss well not the worst I mean yours is -- [ what am I doing ] then again, we've always suspected she's at least a coworker, so my soul's already gone, I'm pretty sure. [ it sure has been crashed repeatedly! ]

[That's what Crowley hears. Eventually, life has to be good to you. Just a matter of odds.]

It is rather hard to defeat Satan in the bad boss category. But if there's someone working for you that makes everyone's life an abject misery... well it's fifty fifty. She could be a demon or she could just be an exceptionally shitty human. There are an awful lot of shitty humans, I'm afraid.

...Unless she has like... a pentagram or some bollocks in her office then she's probably a Satanist and they are the worst.

[He'll lean a little closer to the screen, then sit back. ]

Nope. Still there. Not the most vanilla soul I've seen but it's close.

[ the very thought of someone working for him is hilarious (particularly miss grant. miss grant getting him coffee. oh god, he feels fired just for imagining it) but you do not correct a demon! ]

No, no pentagrams. Anywhere visible at least.

[ discomfort is all but written on his forehead with a black sharpie ]

That's -- good to know. Yeah, see, I'm pretty boring, definitely not worth coming out of retirement for.

[ usually he resents being labeled 'vanilla' but hey - odds in his favor again here! he's on a roll! he may just survive today! ]

[Enjoy that fantasy, Winn. ]

There you go, then.

I doubt anyone would be worth coming out of retirement for. The boss can go fuck himself on that one.

[ he intends to! ]

That is a great attitude!

[ please never change it. ]

I certainly like to think so.

[ here, have two thumbs awkwardly held up because he isn't sure what else to do! ]

[BLESS. ]

See you around, Vanilla.

See ya - sir.

[ everything about his expression and his tone of voice say he's gonna try to avoid that ever coming true, though. ]

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