3rd Shuffle

[cajunspice]

Who: Remy LeBeau and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide video
Action: Wonderduck
When: 20th March

[Remy has set up his video to show him standing in the cargo area of the WonderDuck, several knee high box at his side with one open to show row after row of nearly stacked packets of different colours.]

In light of what’s happened of late with our deliveries we had to make, this does seem ill timed, but it had been something I was askin’ for, so guess I should say thank ya to whatever sponsor decided to send me a bunch of gum, [He holding up an open packet he had in hand, this one being neon blue in color with some strange letters that appeared in a font very similar to a silvery, holographic style comic sans written over it, but was nothing like any Earth style languages.] So thank ya whatever company ya be. Would had been better when I was strugglin’ to stop smokin’, but still be mighty kind of ya ‘nd I got no problem bein’ a sell-out ‘nd flashin’ it to every ‘nvisible camera that be ‘round us. [That also may had been a bad joke in another way.]

Either way, if ‘nyone actually wants some gum, ya’ll welcome to it. Know there be some fellow smokers in our midst so if ya think this will help ya quit I can certainly send some ya way. Or to ‘nyone who just wants some. Flavor wise it does seem a bit of a lottery. ‘ve gotten something that kinda tropical mix, ‘nd ‘nother that was more or less Thanksgivin’ dinner. It was a little Willy Wonka, but luckily no blueberry pie at the end of it. So try at ya own risk.

Comments

audio;

[cajunspice]

The provider shall not be responsible for death, personal injury or loss or damage to a person or property suffered by a consumption of the product, so non, ain't goin' to fall back on me.

'm goin' to assume that this company bein' not from Earth won't know 'bout that film, so we should be safe. 'nd sure it wouldn't be a great look for them to send stuff that ain't safe for our wonderful cast in the first place.

[feathery]

I dunno, they might not consider turning into an oversized blueberry a safety hazard in space. Even surrounded by a hundred hungry mouths that have known nothing but months of bitter foodie famine.

[cajunspice]

Worse case we paint ya black 'nd white 'nd find a place to set up two goals 'nd charge people to play over-sized soccer, will even give ya a percentage of the takin's.

[feathery]

That sounds fucked up enough that it probably happened to someone here already.

[cajunspice]

Could make it an 'ntire thing. Set it up at the next planet, sell tickets, get sponsors to put on the side of the blueberry pie victim, get bets goin'. Though ya wings might get in the way, with the rollin' 'nd all that. Hope ya able to tuck them in.

[feathery]

Whoa, back up a step there. Who said anything about me volunteering.

[cajunspice]

Just plannin' for if ya get the 'nflation piece of gum, though, ya know, even if it did happen I don't see how we would get ya out of the ship, or even out of ya room. So I guess ya'll be safe from 'ny competitive sports.

[feathery]

Yeah, and luckily for everyone, I'm feeling pretty over gum and all the horseshit it entails. Another bird will have to undergo the blueberry turkey stuffing.

[cajunspice]

Thanks for that mental image, [No doubt it wasn't meant like that by Dave, but Remy's brain certainly took it that way.] 'll just let ya know if ever get 'ny other sort of confectionery.

[feathery]

Sure, if the next one doesn't shrink you mouse-size like you stepped through the looking glass. You could've given them ideas after this round.

[cajunspice]

... we should feed it to the fox then, if we get shrink ones, be a lot less mess with it chewin' up everything. [Because that thing was a menace and Remy was yet to follow through with his joking with others to lock it in Dave's room and let it just tear everything apart. Not that he really would, there was a difference between a joke and just being malicious, and Remy liked his crew mates too much to do anything harsh to them.]

[feathery]

Wasn't Jade gonna try that. Shrinking it, I mean.

[cajunspice]

If she did then 'm a little concerned that the amount of damage hasn't seemed to go down, that or I gotta be 'mpressed that fox can still keep up it's quota despite the size change.

[feathery]

Maybe it escapes easier 'cause of that. You turn your back and, whoops, turns out the asshole squeezed under the door.

[cajunspice]

...Ya makin' me paranoid now 'nd wantin' to block my door off. Thanks capitaine, very reassurin'.

[feathery]

Just doing my part to ensure everyone fox-proofs their shit appropriately, so we can avoid any accidents involving macabre chew toys. You never know what that asshole is gonna get his paws into next.